[size=13pt]THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE FUNNIEST THREAD ON NAIRALAND![/size]

This thread is really funny oooo!!!!!!!

d-ROC:

[size=13pt]THIS HAS GOT TO BE _{ONE OF} THE FUNNIEST THREAD ON NAIRALAND![/size]

Yu kan sey dhat aghain!! hehe!

This thread shld last forever abeg.
Hey!!!


on first toasting people are having the shakes,clamy palms,hypnosis, and standstillmania,
I go die oo!!

Let me share one of my friend's own xperience. After d usual persuasion frm friends,he went and met d girl and was like "hello" d girl replied. "I want to talk" d girl said ok. "i want to tell u something" d girl said what is it? and my quy was like "DONT WORRY-I'LL TELL YOU TOMMORROW"

Somebody help b4 i go laugh die o.

I think mine was in js 1 or so. There was this girl around my house (they just moved to the area) & we've been looking at each other 4 long & even sometimes say hi to each other. I gussed she liked me & ive been looking 4 opportunity to talk to her. So it happend one day that as i was playn in front of our house i Just saw her passing and i shouted her name "TAYO!" and i ran to hide. Funny enough she recognised my voice & traced me to where i was hidding and went like "you called me" i was shaking so much that the only thing that could escape outa ma mouth was " i did not call u". She left & as small as i was, i could see the disappointment in her face. After she left i was so ashamed that i could not come out of where i was hiding for lyk 30 mins.

Roflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

eyoiba:

Somebody help b4 i go laugh die o.

I think mine was in js 1 or so. There was this girl around my house (they just moved to the area) & we've been looking at each other 4 long & even sometimes say hi to each other. I gussed she liked me & ive been looking 4 opportunity to talk to her. So it happend one day that as i was playn in front of our house i Just saw her passing and i shouted her name "TAYO!" and i ran to hide. Funny enough she recognised my voice & traced me to where i was hidding and went like "you called me" i was shaking so much that the only thing that could escape outa ma mouth was " i did not call u". She left & as small as i was, i could see the disappointment in her face. After she left i was so ashamed that i could not come out of where i was hiding for lyk 30 mins.

Ma tummy ooooo!!

stillwater:

Na me be dat.

So u can remember

eyoiba:

Somebody help b4 i go laugh die o.

I think mine was in js 1 or so. There was this girl around my house (they just moved to the area) & we've been looking at each other 4 long & even sometimes say hi to each other. I gussed she liked me & ive been looking 4 opportunity to talk to her. So it happend one day that as i was playn in front of our house i Just saw her passing and i shouted her name "TAYO!" and i ran to hide. Funny enough she recognised my voice & traced me to where i was hidding and went like "you called me" i was shaking so much that the only thing that could escape outa ma mouth was " i did not call u". She left & as small as i was, i could see the disappointment in her face. After she left i was so ashamed that i could not come out of where i was hiding for lyk 30 mins.

Chineke Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
Was she taller than you?

yemo offa:

Let me share one of my friend's own xperience. After d usual persuasion frm friends,he went and met d girl and was like "hello" d girl replied. "I want to talk" d girl said ok. "i want to tell u something" d girl said what is it? and my quy was like "DONT WORRY-I'LL TELL YOU TOMMORROW"

Oh really? Your friend . . . . . . hmmmmmm. Berra tell us the truth jare . It was u,wasn't it ?

well all I really remember about my first toasting was that I sliced the agege bread into thick slices and then probably put the bread in a white toaster and it got burnt.
but it still tasted ok with egg stew.

@poster

I have never toasted any woman b4,au contraire they are the one toasting me.

This really interesting, guess I should borrow my neighbors toaster to try it out

mine was thru paper plane, then i was shy. but my real toast was when i was about writing my waec. It was tough indeed as the chick had to bargain dubbing me b4 she accepts my plea

sley4life:

mine was thru paper plane, then i was shy. but my real toast was when i was about writing my waec. It was tough indeed as the chick had to bargain dubbing me b4 she accepts my plea

kai see your life ehn  . One of my close buddies did that. Not for waec though. I think it was ssce or jamb. He got a B while she got an A. He said he didn't really mind but I knew he was lying through his teeth.

I started out with "Agberu gbeso" = cramming from my big brothers/consultant, teach me what to tell babes and i will equally add (very little) to it until i became very confident in myself.  My first GF fell after lots of talks possibly it was just likeness because i didnt even understood what love was then as i thought i did compare to now that i know its body, spirit and soul. However, after lots of effort (Gifts, dress nice, toasting and all the like she fell though the house didnt get burnt Later, I became a consultants too in my college days, bet on babes if you can toast and bring her to parties etc, had "many" girl friends all over [LOL] and thank God i am enjoying my final pick today and the marriage is every new.

Got married after 5yrs of dating/courtship (whatever you can call it now), have kids - 2 boys, own properties home & abroad and now a Pastor. 

If its possible to start life all over again, the only thing i wouldnt do without stress is to look for another woman (n ba - No), i might try other things in a different way but searching and searching for a wife; I wont think twice, i will just locate my current in-laws house in Lagos or home town in Oyo and ask for my wife again and again.

follypimpi:

I remembered another even that occured while i was in High skl,there's this cute Odunayo girl i hve been spying her for weeks,so i asked my friend who happens to be a friend to the gyal to help find out if she fancies me,well he came back to tell me she did,so i summon the courage to chat her up,went up to her  and couldn't utter any word,My mouth refused to open,i was sweating all over and stood upright like a NEPA pole.She stared into my eyes touched me @ my shoulder and asked me why r u shaking and sweating so much,I only managed to nod my head,the whole event felt like a life time to me but it was only for about 3- 5 mins,she said well your friend told me u liked me,My jaw dropped open and i took to my heels,my feet felt heavy so while i was tryna run away i tripped,banged my head on the floor and my mouth was bleeding,every1 who witnessed the scene were laughing there butt off,Ever since that day,i would never enter the girl's class or even pass it by.

Classic example of a LIVER FAILURE.

follypimpi:


Dunno why i was scared then all i coulda say was Hello !!!! but it seems my mouth just wont open,remembering now i feel like a PUM.

DAMN RIGHT. U SHOULD FEEL LIKE A PUM.

Ahhhhh  I cannot stop laughing because you guys just reminded me of the 1st babe I toasted. Let me gist u.
It happened way back in my secondary school days, I happened to be a shy person, that trace is still evidenced till date, though things have change with age and experience.
I like this babe in my friends street,  so much, that I told my friend about it. The same guy told me that the Babe liked me as well, and went further that, the babe told him same thing, as I said about her.
With that assurance, I told the guy to help my call the babe so that I can toast her. Hmmm…, how manage me I no sabi toast oooo. As the babe was walking towards me I felt like running away…I didn’t even know what to say,my heart was beating seriously. All my partner in crime my friend were waiting in front urging me not to disappoint. The first word  I uttered was ‘’Em emmm, they said you liked me’’,she then replied ‘’NOOOO……,’’ I did not say that. I now said ‘’ sorry I thought you said so’’ OK bye.
I bleeped up man , my guys had a good laff when I told them of what transpired, I also tried never to cross the babe path . I was so ashamed of my self. Ever since I dare not toast a babe till I got to the University.

ROTFLMAO!!!! So honest

follypimpi is killing this thread

My first toasting was back in primary school days. I did not directly toast her, but throughout my primary 3 year, I kept giving away my food pack to this blackmailer of a friend who told me, he was going to tell her, that I liked her.

The first ever toasting I did, was to this girl with a big big breast in my secondary school days. It was she who caused it anyways. Ended up ranting her my childish toasting back then, she immediately ran off to tell me friends about it, who started making jest about it. Boy, did I wee on my school trousers that day, stabbed classes for the rest of the afternoon. Been searching for this girl till date. . . . just to finish what I started back in the days.

"Come, come baby, haba, don't run away now
Excuse me firstly, but, do I know your father?
Ehm, ehm, I mean, your face is very similiar" ,


, Never fails

In JS 2 my crush wrote me a letter. It said "my love for you is like a river, it's like the summer breeze that makes my soul shiver". I was like wow. Later I found out that he got it out of an episode of the fresh prince of Bel Air LOL

Lol.

chamotex:

So u can remember

Lol, I never knew it was not easy for the guys o. This thread is an eye opener. I would have taken it easy if I had known. Yeah right.

Igwe.:

This really interesting, guess I should borrow my neighbors toaster to try it out

Not funny jare.

follypimpi:

I remembered another even that occured while i was in High skl,there's this cute Odunayo girl i hve been spying her for weeks,so i asked my friend who happens to be a friend to the gyal to help find out if she fancies me,well he came back to tell me she did,so i summon the courage to chat her up,went up to her  and couldn't utter any word,My mouth refused to open,[b]i was sweating all over and stood upright like a NEPA pole.She stared into my eyes touched me @ my shoulder and asked me why r u shaking and sweating so much,[/b]I only managed to nod my head,the whole event felt like a life time to me but it was only for about 3- 5 mins,she said well your friend told me u liked me,My jaw dropped open and i took to my heels,my feet felt heavy so while i was tryna run away i tripped,banged my head on the floor and my mouth was bleeding,every1 who witnessed the scene were laughing there butt off,Ever since that day,i would never enter the girl's class or even pass it by.

Only you? Just picturing the sight in my head . . . hilarious!

stillwater:

Lol.
Lol, I never knew it was not easy for the guys o. This thread is an eye opener. I would have taken it easy if I had known. Yeah right.

Don't be mean.
The first times are never easy. As you musthave read. . .some people sweat, some standing like NEPA pole, some even shiver.
It takes a lot of courage.
I bet most of em can walk up to any girl right now. _not

chamotex:

Don't be mean.
The first times are never easy. As you musthave read. . .some people sweat, some standing like NEPA pole, some even shiver.
It takes a lot of courage.
I bet most of em can walk up to any girl right now. _not

Lol, follypimpin will not take your words lightly.