Flash back! http://nigeriaworld.com/feature/publication/david-west/100405.htmlIn the depraved psyche of the Nigerian, Alamieyeseigha, in all likelihood will return home to a robust and roaring reception if the British authorities spare him a hefty jail term for his alleged crime of money laundering. This expected reception will be consistent with the meaning of his name, "Diepreye" - "this is my own share, " for the embattled governor will indeed collect his own share of the gratuitousness that awaits him from his people, the Ijaws. It is a befitting irony as it belies the vitiated relationship between the rulers and the ruled, but more importantly, the tacit support rendered to the rulers by the ruled even in the face of perceived malfeasance and political vulgarity.
The giant drums beats will be heard several miles away from the Port-Harcourt International Airport where he most likely will make his landing. Perhaps, they will be heard as far as the campus of the Rivers State University of Science and Technology, RSUST, which sits a respectable distance away from the airport. The VIP lounge will be closed and all travelers will be told to vacate for the arriving governor. Security will be at the highest, fierce-looking and heavily armed mobile policemen will guard the arrival lounge to the very routes the governor will take to his home state. There will be many in his motorcade, and the Nigerian flag will be flying high on the hood (bonnet) of his official pristine Mercedes Benz with the plate number "BSG 1", (Bayelsa State Government), denoting the first citizen of the state.
He will be accompanied by his sidekick, the deputy governor, Dr. Jonathan Goodluck, who had held the fort while the governor was "persecuted" by the colonial masters. Some favored state commissioners and statesmen will also be there to reaffirm their allegiance and fealty to the chief executive, less he forgets. Many opportunists will be present to see this historic event of the return of the great son of the Ijawland. There is simply no viable and acceptable reason for them to miss this occasion for anything on earth. Big traditional chiefs, not-so big ones, small ones, position seekers, "yesmen" (and women), civil servants, innocent school children, favor seekers, boot-lickers, and even some of his political enemies (though for different reasons) will also be there.
The only paved street, the main street in Yenagoa, the state capital, and the only two gas stations will be draped with welcome signs - "Welcome, Governor-General of the Ijaw Nation." Others will read, "Welcome home, Papa". Yet, some more will read, "God has heard our prayers and our enemies have been shamed." Once the arriving governor steps foot on the soil (Bayelsa), he will be received by yet another cadre of Ijaw chiefs, the same ones, perhaps, who went to Aso Rock to plead on his behalf. Their presence will be self-serving and multi-purposed, one carefully laced with egoistic tendencies. But that is fine for it is the very nature of the game. The importance of their presence is not lost on them for they know that it is important for the governor to take note of their loyalty in light of the handsome reward that will come at the opportune time. In this high stakes game of attention seeking, the drum beats will be elevated hitting its desired crescendo. The drummers and dancers, also seeking the governor's attention, will max their efforts to the high heavens in hopes of drumming some nairas their way.
Soon, it will be the turn of his fellow governors in the various government houses across the country. They will start making the roll call in Yenagoa to pledge solidarity with their comrade. Perhaps, Gov. Ngige of Anambra will be the first to extend a hand of comfort to his friend who was by his side during his litigious troubles with his godfather, Chris Ubah and the presidency. It would seem, after all, they both share a common enemy in the presidency. The Plateau State helmsman, Joshua Dariye, will also be there with an apology and a welcome on his lips. He will apologize because were it not for the fact that he absconded to Nigeria when he was arrested by the same London Police and later granted bail, Alamieyeseigha would have received a softer treatment and allowed to return to Nigeria pending further investigations.
For the Rivers State governor, Dr. Peter Odili, it will be a very short hike across the state lines to offer soothing words to his wounded colleague. Though in different political camps within the PDP, with the former belonging to the Obasanjo's camp and the later, Atiku's, the injurious nature of the governor's ordeal will dissipate any such dissimilitude and conjure a truce, even momentarily. Other governors will arrive one after the other, in style, to pay homage. Those who could not make it will send emissaries who will do well to pass on their welcome message. Yet again, it will be the turn of the traditional chiefs who will come in droves to present him with gifts and dubious chieftaincy titles. They will confer on him a new title - the highest in the land, the "Amanyanabo" of Ijawland, meaning, "the owner of Ijawland". May the good Lord forbid that their largesse and generosity cease at this point. They will proceed and present him special gifts in the form of wives with some as young as twelve, thirteen, fourteen, etc. If for nothing, they will be symbolic wives who will immediately go on the governor's payroll.
At this junction, the way will be paved for the institutions of higher education in the state to romance the governor. They will bestow on him multiple honorary doctorate degrees - letters of this, and doctor of that. This will be added to the one the governor already bought from the University of Northern Washington, an Internet degree-minting institution where he earned a doctorate degree in Strategic Management in only six months and with distinction, at that. But as is the case in this poorly developed state, the governor will have to wait to amass those honorary degrees until at such a time when he builds viable institutions of higher learning as there is none in spite of the N8 billion monthly federal allocation that goes into the coffers of the state.
In heaven's name, let no one forget the clergy in this carnival, of sorts. In the coming Sundays, there will be thanksgiving services at churches across the state. The governor will thank God for delivering him from the hands of the devil and for returning him to his people where he belongs. The clergy, not to lose out in this windfall, will offer prayers on his behalf, they know that a big donation is coming. They will ask the almighty to protect him from his enemies and give him the wisdom to rule the state. They will plead for Him to destroy his enemies and prosper his friends, which means they too will be prospered.
It will be time for the big companies to join the fray, even the oil companies owned by the British, will attempt to reconcile with the governor by taking out huge advertisements in the newspapers to welcome and praise him for his foresight and excellent leadership. They will distance themselves from the actions of the London Police. Smaller companies will spend their meager resources to take out ads in the newspaper exalting the governor and magnifying his achievements. There is something in there for them too, by so doing they know that state contracts garnished with juicy kickbacks and unearned dividends will come their way. Other stakeholders, namely members of the Bayelsa State House of Assembly, with the majority leader being the son-in-law of the governor, will also be there to re-pledge their loyalty in more ways than one to the "Father Christmas" in Yenagoa. This is after they must have received their share of the oil money in exchange for a promise not to pursue impeachment proceedings against the governor for the international disgrace bequeathed them by his alleged criminal actions.
Joining the carnival at this junction will be historians, speechwriters, spokesmen and women, press secretaries and journalists who will be well-paid to re-write history. The London Police will be the vile party in this whole affair while Alamieyeseigha will be painted in bright angelic colors. They will scream on the pages of the newspapers and distort the story of the governor's travails in London. There will be no mention of the millions of pounds found on him at the airport. There will also be no mention of the various mansions he owns in the UK, Nigeria and the US. Also going unmentioned will be the countless bank accounts in Yenagoa where millions of dollars have been lodged by various associates and family members of the governor. How dare they mentioned where the governor got the funds to pay for his stomach operation in Germany.
In this new story that will be told to Nigerians and the world, no one will hear of his record of non-performance and the rueful state of affairs in his state. They will put out a press statement claiming that they have a written apology from the British authorities sent to the governor through the British High Commission in Abuja, a claim no one can verify. They will inculpate others for the travails of the governor - Obasanjo, the federal government, his political enemies in the state and beyond, the British government, the London Police, even the United Nations, if care is not taken, might be pulled in as a party to this grand conspiracy against the governor and the Ijawnation he leads. In the end, a greater portion of the blame will be heaped on the horned head of the devil for planting a perfidious seed in the minds of the aforementioned parties in a fruitless effort to distract the governor from his fine work.
After all said and done, the governor might even get a call from Aso Rock requesting a meeting with the president. A presidential jet with all the trappings of power fully encamped will be flown to Port-Harcourt to fetch His Excellency. Thereafter, the two men will speak to the press and claim that they have reconciled their differences in the interest of the party, but most importantly, in the interest of one Nigeria. The president will then shower praises on the governor calling him a man of the people and an exemplary governor of all times. The governor will readily return the favor calling the president's election the best event in the country since October 1, 1960. Moments later, Alamieyeseigha's "sins" will be washed away by the streaming sweat and blood of the ordinary Nigerians who have been the true victims all along. It will be business as usual and all the parties involved will live happily thereafter in the great country called Nigeria.
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