Lying sideways on the bed, with
nothing but a red G- string on,
was
John Smith smiling seductively
at me. I
was irritated to say the least. Ordinarily, I would have
stormed out
of the room but for the
ridiculousness of the
situation, I stayed as I wanted
to find out what this retard had
planned. ME: C’mon, what’s the
meaning of this? John Smith :
what do you think it is? ME:
errm… You acting really weird?
John Smith : There’s nothing weird
about it. Don’t u like it? ME: Like
what? John Smith : or don’t I
look sexy? He said this rubbing
his hands all over
his thighs. At this point it became less
annoying & just plain silly. So I
sat
down on 1 of the chairs in the
room &
decided to play along. John Smith: Don’t just sit there, come
join me on the bed ME: Are you
serious? John Smith : of course I
am. How do you think the game
works? ME: You mean I have to
get in bed with you to get a contract? John Smith : Yes my
dear. That’s what everybody
does. ME: So you’ve slept with
all your
models? John Smith: No, just the
male ones. Didn’t your friend Olisa update
you
before coming here? That last
bit of information was a little
disturbing. The thought of Olisa
in bed with John Smith, a fairly macho
dude
himself turned my stomach. My
mind
immediately
drifted back to all the times Olisa would touch me at the gym
whilst commenting on my
biceps or my abs
or any other muscle in my
body. Never
for once did I suspect he was gay. Well
as a sharp guy, knowing my
modeling
career was over even before it
started, I took out my phone &
quickly took pictures of John Smith. He pounced on me but I
was out of
the door before he could get a
hold of
me. He ran out after me but
soon realized he had nothing on so
turned
back to his room. He called the
reception to stop me but I was
out of there before they
realized what was happening. I boarded a cab & dialed
his number on my way home. It
was a thursday. I had to drive
back to Gombe for my
clearance for the
week. I was getting bored in the car, so I
called John Smith. ME : Hey John
Smith John Smith : What do you
want? ME : I’m still trying to
figure out what I
want John Smith: Ok, I’ll offer you a contract ME: Do you think
I still wanna be a
model after what just
happened? John Smith : Then
get on with it, name your price.
ME: How much are you willing to pay
to avoid these pictures getting
to the
press? Does your wife know
about
your love for the D? Is your son aware? John Smith : Please you
can’t do that to
me. My life will be ruined. I’ll
give you
whatever you want, please just
don’t expose those pictures. ME: I’ll
send my account number to
you & I expect to have 1,
000,000
Naira paid in before 4pm today
John Smith : What?! A million Naira? Are you crazy? ME: yeah,
Crazy enough to send these
pictures to the press. John
Smith: ok, ok, I’ll head to the
bank right away just send your
bank details but u have to promise
me you’ll
delete those pictures right
away. ME: You have my word
Hung up. Looking back, I think
I should have asked for more money. Well, I
wasn’t
the type that deprived pleasure
in
black mailing blacks like me, I
barely acted on my instincts. Besides, a
million Naira wouldn’t hurt him
much, though his money won’t
make much difference to the
amount I have, but
just had to teach him a lesson. I got to
Gombe expecting to be a
million naira
richer. The following day which
was
friday, It was past 2pm already still no credit alert from my
bank. I waited patiently,
looking at my phone every
now and again expecting ‘that’
text
message to arrive. You know that feeling you get when
expecting a bank deposit and
your
phone rings alerting you to a
text
message? Then the feeling you get
after opening the message only
to find
a text from a random four digit
number telling you to subscribe
for Caller tunes, or some other unnecessary information. Well
at exactly 3:55pm my phone
rang. It was indeed a text
message! I
heaved a huge sigh of relief &
opened the message. Lo & behold! it
was a
text message from JOHN
SMITH… The text read… “If you
think you can blackmail me
with a silly picture, think again. If u
dare expose that pic, I promise
to
make your life a living hell. I
talked to
my lawyers & they have assured me
that we can make a case & sue.
So I’ll see you in court if you
decide to act foolish” Wow! I
wasn’t expecting things to
take this turn. It’s likely to get ugly.
What’s up with rich folks
threatening
the poor with lawyers these
days?
Whenever shit hits the fan, they call
their lawyers. Now John Smith
was threatening with one like I
couldn’t afford to get a lawyer
myself. Mumu guy, likes he
thinks money is my problem. ‘Pro bono’, so… I thought about
putting an end to this deal &
just get
on with my life but then I
pictured
what that life would be like. I know life
can be easy, and I know
opportunity
come but once, blah blah blah ,
just have to make money out of
this GAY guy! I saw modeling as a ticket to the good
life, a way out of idleness, a way
to
catch fun, look good. Now I
can’t have
that because of a bloody gay! Don’t
get me wrong, I’m not
homophobic,
even though I don’t like them
very much, I believe everyone’s
got their life to live & it’s one’s right to live as he
pleases, just don’t involve me in
your
lifestyle. I’m
totally against the unfair
treatment currently meted out to the gay
population in our society. I
thought the bill passed by the
Legislative was
against Gay marriages and not
copulation? I believe its nobody’s
business where a man chooses
to put
his dick. So why harass these
people for what they do
privately, in their bedrooms? If we decide to play the
moral or religious card by
saying God
frowns at their acts then,
shouldn’t
there be a ban on premarital sex entirely, be it
same sex or with the opposite
sex? God frowns at sexual
immorality, period! We’re just
being hypocrites if you ask me.
My bane with John Smith isn’t
because
he’s gay but that he tried
to take advantage of me & I
don’t forgive easily. I needed to
teach him a lesson, if not for myself, then for the
sake of other aspiring models
out
there. He messed with the
wrong cat this
time. So I took out my laptop and
edited the picture using photo
shop,
making his face blurry so he
couldn’t
be identified. I posted the picture
on twitter with the caption:
‘Supermodel! I think
@John_Smith should sign this
dude to his agency…
lol” Within 3 hours, the picture was
trending on twitter. It had
gotten
loads of retweets & hilarious
comments. Twitter was
buzzing! Some tweeps even suggested I exposed the
dude.
Then I received a mention that
surprised me much. John Smith
replied
my tweet with the words ‘LMAO… Are you serious?’. I
replied
immediately saying ‘You bet I
am! I’ll even post the real pic so
you can see how cute he is’. My
phone rang instantly, It was John Smith calling ME: Hello
John Smith : What the Bleep is
wrong
with you? ME: yo John! I was
expecting a thank
you. I just made you famous on twitter! At least by tomorrow
after I
expose the real picture, you’ll
be a
star. John Smith : You must be
crazy young man! ME: imagine the publicity
you’ll get!
You’ll probably feature on
every
entertainment blog John Smith :
Well if you choose to carry on with this insanity, you’ll hear
from
my lawyers tomorrow ME: Oh
please! The lawyer threats
again? I bet your wife would be
very supportive and the companies
you do
business with would be more
than… WTF?! He hung up on
me! Now he’s left me no choice.
I know this isn’t the most honorable thing to do but
then
show me 1 wealthy person
who got to
that position in
life by being honourable. When life throws you lemons, you
make lemonade right? Well I
enjoy mine with
a little vodka in it. I saw this as
an
opportunity & what is it they say about
opportunity? It cometh but
once. I
wasn’t going to let this one
chance pass me by. John Smith
must have read my mind because at that instant
my phone rang. It was a text
message. ‘Alright you win. I’ll
pay the money 1st thing
tomorrow. Please delete that
picture. PLEASE’ After reading that text, I was ecstatic!
It felt like my favourite team just
won
the champions league. No,
scratch
that. It felt like Rita Dominic just agreed
to marry me! I’ve always had a
crush
on that one hey… story for
another day. I could barely
sleep that night. You know when you’re anticipating
something great the next day,
you
tend to wake up early and it
appears
as if time is ‘taking its time’. I slept at
about 1am. I woke up thinking
it was dawn already. I checked
the time, it was
4am! I couldn’t fall back asleep.
I stayed awake chatting and
hustling
online with my maye’s. After
about what seemed like 3
hours, I checked the time again,
it was 4:30am!
I decided to stop waiting &
keep my
mind busy. I decided to listen to
a
music that would ginger my spirit, because I like my music
extremely loud. So I plugged in
my
headphone. I figured I was in
the
mood to listen to Fela. I went to the
fridge & got out a small bottle of
Alomo bitters. Why do people
bother with this drink really?
The taste is horrible! It doesn’t
smell good but we love it, don’t we? I think the
idea of a
‘healthy high’ was what got me
started
& the small size of the bottle
meant you drank in moderation. Plus
given the price, it is a no-
brainer! So I sat up in bed
sipping my Alomo,
listening to Fela, waiting for
dawn. I visited my favourite sport sites.
I did
virtually everything to past time.
I even
visited Realtunez.com, I read some
cool stories Teenage Love, Shade of
Lust, later I got bored and
sleepy read the stories, I then
switch to check out
some gist via linda ikeji’s blog,
the trending posts weren’t
captivating to
me, I find most of these
‘gossips’ to be
super annoying. With stories
like ‘See Don Jazzy’s tweet to Tiwa Savage’; ‘Wizkid takes
selfie in a toilet”; ‘Davido
bought a new shoe’; ‘See the
food
Tonto Dike
ate last night’. How does any of that
amount to gossip? Why would I
care about the food
Tonto Dike had for dinner? Most
of
these amateur bloggers should find
something else to do with their
time.
They all recycle the same
stories. They
copy a story, word for word, from Linda Ikeji’s blog & post
on theirs not bothering to edit
or name their source.
Little wonder as to why she’s
making
so much money & they aren’t. Professionalism
pays. My conscience was slowly
catching up
with me. There’s no honour in
blackmail a naija guy like me,
we all know it’s hard to make money
in this
country, if you ain’t a politician.
I was
beginning to have second
thoughts, then this particular song came on, GENTLEMAN. In
the words of the great
Abami Eda I realised “I no be
gentleman at all”. I know Fela
wasn’t
encouraging anybody to do wrong
with that song but then its like a
parable.
Whichever translation works
for you.
Its funny the lengths we’ll go to justify
a wrong deed. I quickly
brushed that
thought aside. I aint giving up
now,
not when I’m this close to getting paid. At last, the first
light of dawn. I got out
of bed, to my cloths to the dry
cleaner,
then, came back home, took a
chilled Fuman Juice in the refrigerator,
sat on
my bed with my pc, and I hustle
on,
while sipping the Juice in a cup.
At about 9am, I received a text from John Smith. ‘I’m on my
way to the bank. Please
confirm your details again’ I
duly obliged. Now I was
waiting for that all important
text, the credit alert. It took a little over 20 minutes
for the
sacred alert to come in. I
couldn’t
believe my eyes when I saw the
figures 1,000,000. Maga don pay. Then I received another
text. This time it was
from John Smith. ‘I’ve paid the
money into your
account. I trust you’ll do the
right thing by deleting the picture &
my
phone number as well. Don’t
contact
me again & If by any means, the
picture is exposed & I lose everything I’ve worked for, I’ll
find you & I’ll kill
you’ That sunk in. I believed
every word of
that text. I quickly deleted the
picture. There’s no point keeping it & I
wouldn’t want anyone having
access
to it because I didn’t want to
find out if
he was bluffing or not. I want to believe ‘hell hath no fury like
a gay nigga scorned’. I received
another text. From John
Smith yet again. ‘You know
Karma is a bitch right’ To be
continued. Please drop your comments http://realtunez.com/story-my-life-as-a-yahoo-boy-season-2-episode-24/