I am very calculative of the times I make use of an ATM. If it’s not very early in the morning, I don’t bother except it’s an emergency cos the last thing I want is to meet a queue. A queue containing one or more of these characters.
1 Mr Miracle This one has 380.36 in his account yet he slots in his card at least five times to withdraw 5K, hoping for a miracle. He doesn’t leave the ATM until he is certain ‘insufficient funds’ is spelt correctly. I met one like that last month. He kept reinserting his card and on a closer inspection, I found out he was trying to withdraw N400!
2 Mr Grumpy This one is fond of picking quarrels with the ATM. Even though the machine keeps reading his pin is incorrect or his card has expired, he keeps swearing. Often times, he reports the ATM to the next person on the queue. Like we care!
3 Mr Meticulous This is that guy that adds stew to his jollof rice. He is the annoying guy dude counts and confirms every single note of his money before exiting for the next person as if he can beat up the ATM if N20 is missing. Nigerians and their trust issues though.
4 Mr Chief/ Mr Thief This one acts as if the world is ending. He is on a mission to drain the ATM. You think he wants to withdraw his whole life savings. He is either a wealthy person or one of those scammers that stole someone’s debit card. At a point, the 2K people like us starts begging him not to all the cash in the ATM.
5 ATM Class Prefect This impatient guy on the queue is usually the last to arrive but assumes anybody that spends more than five seconds at the ATM is an illiterate. He moves from the beginning of the extreme, grumbling and hastening everyone. If you spend more than 5 seconds, he’ll walk up to you and offer to help you operate the ATM even when you are not an illiterate.
6 Mr Trust Issues The old man that feels everyone on the queue is a thief on a mission to memorise his ATM pin. He positions himself in a way that his entire body completely covers the ATM. He never fails to curse anyone that comes five metres close to him.
7 Mrs Clueless This is that old woman that has been practising how to use an ATM for the past 5 years. If you take a closer look at what she’s doing, you would discover each time the machine reads “Would you like to continue, Yes or No”, she smiles and does nothing.
8 Mr Unemployed He has no money to withdraw but he joins the queue with four of his ATM card with the intention of checking their various balance. He eventually recharges N100 with quickteller and walks away with his head held high.
9 Mr Questioner This one is always asking questions. He doesn’t care if you came to use the ATM or not! He’s always asking, “Is it paying?”, “Which bank are you using?” “Have you withdrawn?”
I hope I didn’t omit any category? I’m not sure where I belong but my worst fear is when I sight Mrs Clueless in front of me. You?

Nice 1 guess u did not omit any one
6 Reasons Why Nigerian Comedians Are Better Than Musicians
1. They have less scandals : its either comedians generally have less scandals or they manage their scandals to avoid public outrage . In my opinion our Nigerian comedians are equally popular like our musicians but they seem to have more self control than them . When last did you hear that a comedian was dragging his son/daughter with baby mama . I guess never . 2. They have less beef : Every now and then our Nigerian musician are either beefing over supremacy ( a.k.a jealousy ) or beefing over trivial thing s . 3. Less baby mamas : its unfortunate. Exam Question: list 2 Nigerian comedians with baby mama ? I guess you cannot even mention one. (Let me play devils advocate) oya list 10 musicians with baby mama ? I guess u are laughing , just like me. Lol 4. Less immoral life : Generally our Nigerian comedian always conduct themselves in a way and manner acceptable to the public . Have you ever seen bovi or basket mouth , smoking weed in their comedy clip ? The answer is no. Am not saying celebrities should not smoke , but do it in private , if not for any other thing at least for the sake of our younger generation . 5. Marriage : when it comes to marriage Nigerian comedians marry as at when due . Does it not bother you that akpororo who was nobody when Don jazzy and D banj were making hit ( making money ) all over the world is married yet Don jazzy and D'banj are still single ? D'banj is always playing prank on the media over getting married , as if Nigerians are begging him to marry . And even look at Flavour N'abania ( as old as he is ) said on an interview (on television) that marriage will be a distraction to his career . My brother let's face the reality ; if having a baby mama and being into so many scandals with the girl's family was not a distraction to Davido career , please tell me how on earth marriage will be a distraction . 6. From Paul Ndubuisi a nairalander , click to download my New comedy audio https://my.notjustok.com/track/download/id/107568