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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Why Are Nigerian Women In America Hard To Date Or Marry? (3912 Views)
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Why Are Nigerian Women In America Hard To Date Or Marry? by dreamz701(f): 6:44am On Sep 12, 2009 |
i just noticed that most of Nigerian men here in USA well in Chicago where i am prefer to date other women rather than Nigerian Women (Dont get me wrong, even Men/guys who have their green cards already), Every Nigerian woman here have this ego and they measure what you weigh even in Colleges/Uni. But the funniest part is they get jealous and start shouting when they see us with Ladies from other countries even Somalia lol, cos they treat us right, Naija girls too proud lol |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Women In America Hard To Date Or Marry? by xammy(m): 10:40am On Sep 12, 2009 |
Its every where. U wil enjoy them more onec d presure is on them. |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Women In America Hard To Date Or Marry? by Nobody: 12:20pm On Sep 13, 2009 |
dreamz701: Says Who ![]() ![]() |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Women In America Hard To Date Or Marry? by bavgate: 2:49am On Oct 09, 2015 |
This is true!! It is a sad state of affairs. As a single, educated, hardworking, guy living in the America, the city I live in FILLED TO BURSTING with single Nigerian women who exhibit negative traits. It is as if once she sets foot on American soil she develops the anti-social ego when it comes to men, particularly Nigerian men. I was born in Nigeria but raised in the U.S. and I have noticed this disturbing trend. We have a handful of Naija ladies in America who are not this way, they are attractive, smart, with friendly personalities....these are the ones that have no problem finding husbands. The vast majority have this rude, stuck up attitude even when approached respectfully. Meanwhile they ignore the fact that they are in their late 20s, 30s, 40s and not in a relationship, let alone engaged or married. The Nigerian women in America that fit this behavior forget that they have a short span of eligibility as they have a biological clock and time/age that is not on their side, unlike the men. Ladies are supposed to use their femininity, youthful beauty, and grace while they are in heir early to mid 20s to attract a suitable gentleman who may one day be their husband. Unfortunately this is not happening. Instead they play games, shakara and other nonsense to the decent, educated, suitable men. Single Nigerian women in America BEWARE of this game you are playing with Father Time: A single woman in her 50s does not have her top choice in men (Ask Oprah...she's actually in her 60s now, ooops bad example!!!). A single woman in her 40s does not have her top choice in men. A single woman in her 30s will STRUGGLE for a desirable man (and that is even if she is considered a very attractive). Don't be fooled into thinking otherwise. This is real life not a Tyler Perry flick. She can find plenty of men willing to have sex with her but that is a mute point as this discussion is about fostering a committed relationship. A single woman in her late 20s will struggle too but not quite as badly as a woman in her 30s. A woman in her early 20s has her pick but if she is unwise she squanders these years playing shakara games well into her 30s. As a stated earlier, this issue is not with all single Nigerian women in America (again those women are enjoying a healthy relationship with a special guy) but is with FAR, FAR TOO MANY. Even the Nigerian women who are born and raised here in America are copying this behavior. I know many single women will try to refute my statements forgetting that those guys they had negative experiences with were underachieving riff raff to begin with. Yes we do have a segment of underachieving Naija dudes here in America who spend their weekends at the African dance clubs walking around with their chests poked out. Stevie Wonder can see that these guys are no good. I'm talking about the upwardly mobile, humble, hardworking single Nigerian men in America that our ladies keep ignoring until it is too late. We currently have an unprecedented number of single Nigerian women in America ages 25+ who are single and remaining that way. This is not good. Most of them fit a certain profile; On the outside she appears conservatively dressed, attractive-in shape, proclaim to be God fearing, initially mild mannered. So as a guy, you think she's a catch but once you get to know them it's another story. As a guy you discover she has poor interpersonal/communication skills with a man who expresses interest in her and who she appears to be interested in --- yes, I know, it makes zero sense. Most if not all of the effort of communicating is done by the guy. I've also noticed other traits in such women: HER APPEARANCE 1. Overdoing it with weaves/bad weave jobs. I even came across a lady who had what looked lake a natural layed afro puff type of style which I thought was nice when I saw it from a DISTANCE. Closer examination revealed that, yes, it was not natural but instead a weave stitched on her head. smh. If she won't take the time to take care of the natural hair that grows from her head and opts to slap on a wig or weave as quick fix, what else is she not capable of taking care of?? 2. Not taking care of her body. While I do see Naija women in America who appear to be in good physical shape, a significant number of you do not exercise regularly and it shows. As a guy who works out, I look for a woman who shares the same ethic. HER PERSONALITY TRAITS 2. Does not know how to maintain a healthy relationship with a decent, suitable guy. She then opts to simply be alone. 3. She always finds time to go out/hang out with her female friends even though she looks for an excuse for why she cannot spend time with Mr. Good guy in #2. 4. Loves to babysit other people's children. On the surface this seems nice. This can trick a guy into thinking she is nurturing. When he gets to know her he realizes otherwise, further reinforcing why she is still single. 5. I know I'm gonna get hated on for this one but I'm gonna tell the truth and shame the devil. She never misses church. Sometimes she goes multiple times a week. She's always posting scriptures on social media. Hell will freeze over before she misses church. She takes selfies of herself in the car on her way to church ALONE. All hell will break loose if she misses church. On the surface this seems like a good thing; a single God fearing woman right? In America the African church(some American) is filled to bursting with them. You begin to realize if she was really such a great catch, she would have been married & taken off the market years ago but that is not the case. I remember engaging in a conversation with a woman and the first thing out of her mouth to me was "Are you Christian?". WTH?? Suffice to say she is now in her 30s and still single. Ladies, as we've all witnessed and as common sense tells us, just because you profess to be Christian and you go to church, it DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MAKE YOU WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL. Too many single Nigerian women here in America use their religion (something intangible that cannot be measured or truthfully verified that she lives this way) to compensate for their incompatibility with men. This is major personality flaw that they have copied from a significant number, but not all, single African American women. YES I SAID IT. 6. They have a negative opinion or look down on African American women. This not so much much the case with single Naija women raised in the U.S. It is this case with most Naija women who moved to America after high school. I've heard many of them say they do not have African American female friends because they are full of drama. While I can see their point, I always laugh about this. Yes, African American women have their issues as most of them were raised in broken homes. Not making excuses for them but I understand that many of them are not wifey material. Single Naija ladies hear this: Yes, you may not have kids out of wedlock (you are single with no children----a good thing), yes you may have a college degree, yes you may come from a 2 parent household, yes you may not have defiled your skin with tattoos, but just like many African American women many of you ladies look down upon, you too ARE SINGLE WITH NO MAN IN THE HORIZON JUST LIKE MANY OF THEM!! The African American church, just like your church is full of single women with no man in sight. It appears you single Naija women in America have more in common with African American women then you think. 7. A good number of single Naija women in America have an extreme diva complex and attitude that that is borderline feminist. No sense of being humble. This is man repellent....fix it. 8. Many of these single ladies, while they won't always openly admit it, still have deeply rooted insecurities about their skin complexion, even in adulthood. As a result these women sabotage a potentially good relationship before it starts out of fear that they guy will leave her. I've noticed this trait among the brown/dark skinned ladies. I only hope that the next generation of Nigerian women who are in their teens take heed and don't copy this behavior. I would hate for them to reach adulthood and find themselves with abysmal marriage rates like the current generation. I also implore the single ladies in Nigeria who will be moving to America to live soon to not copy this behavior, I know you do not want to reach your 40s and still be single. You can be God fearing but don't forget to be wife material as well. Ladies don't you get tired of going to other peoples weddings all the time? Aren't you finally ready to enjoy relationship and marital bliss? Aren't you tired of of sharing the same single status statistic of the African American women you claim are beneath you? Aren't you tired of seeing your younger male siblings finding a mate before you?? At what point do you get tired of seeing the most eligible, financially successful, upwardly mobile, Nigerian men in America (men who are citizens/green card holders of course) opting to marry Carribean, or other non-Nigerian women here because he feels you are a headache? You can fix it but it starts with you! 1 Like |
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