The joke on inflation is no
longer on the working class
and the poor to tighten their
financial belts to the point of
being squeezed to death.
According to Laz, a reputable
chartered accountant: “A lot
of rich men’s net worth have
decreased considerably in
the last few years, and most
of them are worried about
the effect on their wives and
children.
The average ‘rich’ man is
doing all he could to hide his
fall in fortune by taking on
debt to pay for his wife’s
extravagant clothes and trips
to visit the kids in schools
abroad. I’ve literally had to sit
such men who are my clients
down and tell them they had
to tell their wives to stop
spending so much. The ones
who’d managed to land
second wives with
champagne tastes are scared
such wives could leave when
their financial situation
changes so drastically.
‘’The wealthy seldom speak
publicly about their finances,
in good times or bad. But, my
colleagues who provide
services to the wealthy tell
me they are getting an earful
about their clients’ financial
anxieties. That their clients
are definitely living on
considerable less than they
did a couple of years ago.
These financial problems - if
they can be called that - will
hardly elicit tears from the
rest of us who truly know
where the shoes pinch, but
there really is a quiet
nervousness about keeping
up appearances amongst the
rich. The money is there
alright, but its buying power
is limp!”
And with a lot of political
lepers now littering the
streets, the fear of inflation
and lack of ready ‘national
cake’ portions is an issue.
“Apart from the fear of the
spouses doing a runner
when they discover that their
net worth has collapsed,
friends and business
associates (more like fair
weasther friends) could
avoid socialising with them
when they are broke. And
these snubs could trickle
down to their children who
might not get invited to posh
birthday parties if they
switch schools!”, said Laz.
Before you start feeling really
sorry for these poor-rich
dudes. they have a lot of
buffers the average citizen
doesn’t have. They are
addressing their distress in
discreet and often awkward
ways. A lot of them, when
they were in the corridors of
power, were into real estate
and shares. Instead of going
to their bankers for yet
another overdraft they might
not honour, they approach
relevant agents and brokers
to sell what they could.
According to Laz: “Most of
them will approach you to
sell their assets and ask how
quickly they can get the
payments. The quicker such
deals close. the happier they’ll
be. Other wealthy clients are
cutting luxuries that they
think their friends and
relatives won’t notice. For
instance, wives are
selling precious jewellery
they rarely wear because
friends wouldn’t notice that
they’re gone. If they sold
their jeeps or expensive
state-of-the-art cars, friends
and catty relatives will
sneer.” And if you ever
wondered what a lot of these
‘society’ ladies do with their
expensive aso-ebi after the
events they wore them for;
the good news is that there is
a thriving second- hand
market at Idumota for
instance. where such are
snapped up.
According to reports from
posh hairdressing salons.
stylists grumble about how
customers are stretching the
life span of their expensive
weave-ons and extensions to
every three months instead
of the recommended four
weeks. ‘They would rather
poach some of our workers
to give them home
treatments for considerably
less, than pay our fees. Some
don’t even bat an eyelid
when they sit with other
sweaty clients at various local
markets to get the same
results they get at posh
salons for next to nothing!”,
said Lara, owner of a posh
hair-dressing salon. “The
drop in wealth,” continued
Laz, “has also exposed other
personal problems, like bad
marriages. Money - which
bought jewellery and
extravagant parties - helped
smooth over many
matrimonial problems and
masked anxiety. Now that its
power is dwindling. the
wives might not be so
sympathetic. Personal
trainers have had to be
replaced with local Calabar
masseuse who charges
considerably less and gets
the same results ... “
If things are this bad for
most of the rich and mighty
who still have to support
their various extended
families, heaven only know-
how well lesser mortals will
fare. The problem is not the
Naira, it is its purchasing
power that has reduced all of
us to economists desperate
to make ends meet! The rich
might feel depressed flinging
off plots of lands and
jewellery, but what do the
working class and poor have
to fling - their cooking pots?!
False Impression? (Humour)
A woman goes into a bar and
notices a man with the
biggest feet she’s ever seen.
“Is it true what they say
about men with large feet?”
she asks him. “It sure is,” the
guy grins. “Why don’t you
come home with me and let
me prove it?”
So she spends the night with
him and in the morning she
hands him NIO,OOO. “Well,
thank you,” he says, a bit
embarrassed. “No one has
ever paid me for my services
before.
I’m flattered.” “Don’t be,” the
woman says sharply. “Just
take the money and buy
some shoes that fit.”

In times like these, that famous line in the marital vows come in handy.
In riches or in poverty.... Till death do us part...

guys time for u abadon ur iphone 6 chics oh. . .me am dumping my nokia x2 gf in the dustbin til things settle well again

see typing