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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / That Moment When You Stop Having Sex And Discover Why A Breakup Is Good For You (760 Views)
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That Moment When You Stop Having Sex And Discover Why A Breakup Is Good For You by superemmy(m): 5:39pm On Jul 22, 2016 |
This Message is Mainly for the Guys who Love hard From my experience, it is often a misguided lie that most men are heartless and non-emotional. Sometimes I would like to think that almost all men around the whole word often try to hide their emotions especially from the prying eyes of a woman. My first experience of falling in love was heavenly, just like any other person who falls in love for the first time, you get to find out that starting a relationship has an ethereal sense of feeling. In a relationship there's always a sense of beauty, loyalty, honesty, and communication until the devil decides to show his ugly head by bringing temptations into your sweet life. In this life, there are two types of men; the type that love hard and the type who don't. The type of men that love hard are the ones who often tend to stick to a single woman whom their heart belongs, they see no one else, can be tempted by no one else and do not actively flirt with anyone else as far as their love life is concerned. These type of guys pay their bae's life support, welfare, tuition fees, provide her comfort, sex, material benefits, emotional support and anything they can put their minds to, just to make their woman comfortable and happy. Now the type of men who don't, are the ones who are: the players, the heart broken ones, the careful ones and the overly ambitious. These type of men do not regard love as anything. They protect and shield themselves to the detriment of the women folk. They are the ones who don't give two hoots about anyone or anything, as far as they get what they want at all costs. From my personal experience this two main categories of guys exist side by side as a result of their innate nature to love hard and not to love at all .In simple words it is in- born especially for the hard lovers or acquired from experience. Sometimes, I read on various pages, stories from guys like, "please help me I dated her for 4 years, 'she cheated on me', 'we've broken up' but 'I still love her' including long tales of endless woes" obviously crying for help. Which has led me to come here writing this now to help in your transition process because I was passed through the same shoes. Let's leave all the talk now and go straight to the point: Why a Break up is Good for You 1. You Gain Clarity of Mind Like I said earlier, being in a relationship can blind you to many faults, like so many faults especially to those in a woman. A breakup shows you the other side of life. The reality of the hidden mask masqueraded by your woman/ girl suddenly opens before your eyes. Your brain begins to open up to mysteries beyond your understanding which you could not comprehend before. Now you begin to see the facade, the lies, the fake promises and oaths you made to each other falling into places like a chessboard. 2. [B] You become Purpose Driven [/b] Before love, it seemed you had no purpose, none at all but to love and want her, that seemed like a unique purpose in itself. All you ever dreamed of was marriage and kids, beyond that, there was no vivid imagination, no vision of the business and career future, nothing, none at all. Everything was all about "her". Now, it's gone, you almost feel empty and you want to try to run back to her to get that purpose but your mind determines it has to be redirected to something else. This is why a breakup is important for you because Great writers, wealthy business men, musicians, poets, politicians have gotten their inspiration and drive from spurned love experiences. Quote me anywhere 3. [B] Your interest in Worthless things Decreases [/b] True to the fact, before now, you could talk with her on the phone for hours on end without achieving any concrete importance to your life, with endless airtime and non productive messages. But now, you see the importance of all the cash you spend, the times and hours you spent doing absolutely nothing of great value. 4. You Gain Experience and a Careful Outlook on Women True almost all women are deceitful, in fact 99.9% of them are liars and cheaters but that doesn't mean they can't be great loyal and faithful lovers. After a breakup, you see clearly behind the masks of the so-called honest ladies however and wherever they may be. Your view on life and relationship mostly improves in the long run and at the very end you'll be happy. 5. [B] You end up Achieving All Your Aspiration and Dreams [/b] "The quickest way to die early for a man is in the hands of woman." After a break-up, all your positive and negative psyche and energy gets rolled up into a single focus like science says, "energy cannot be destroyed only converted from one form to another." You can forge ahead, work ahead, plan ahead and achieve ahead only if you have "a head" to begin with rather than losing your head to visions of angels singing wedding hymns on cloud 9. 6. [B] You begin to See Other Good Ladies [/b] My cousin dated this girl for like 5 years, her attitude was so bad that on the day he was supposed to propose to her, she took him for granted cheated on him, had a fight and told him she wasn't interested. He was begging and pleading with her then coupled with the hassle of a unemployment. That same day, by providence he got to chat with a lady through his friend whom he went to visit. Her was so impressed and voila they got married, now living the big dream in the USA and Lekki Axis whenever they're in town. No fiction, my cousin gan gan. Permit me to say, that a breakup is not the end of the world. In the short run; it hurts, it feels painful, bad and remorseful but in the long run, it helps you become a better person by revealing flaws you had in your previous experiences especially guys who pester their girlfriends with calls, endless and unfounded suspicion and threats... For my Niggaz who love hard, you cannot be like a player because you're not meant to be one. Even if you are, we know there will always be one special girl who fit kill you. So just in case you're preparing your suicide pill remember: "Love is not a Do or Die Affair and You Could be A Billionaire Tomorrow" cc: Modath cc: Seun cc: Lalasticlala cc: Ladyf for your boyfriend only. |
Re: That Moment When You Stop Having Sex And Discover Why A Breakup Is Good For You by chocolateme(f): 5:41pm On Jul 22, 2016 |
Very cool thread.. In as much as the fact that everything you posted here is very perfect, but i must let you know how i feel about it. First of all, i understand that you were writing from experience but capitalizing on guys mostly is not in order due to the fact that its not always one person that feels hurt in a break up irrespective of who called it off among the two. Again, speaking of gender equality, you posted all in favour of guys due to your experiences and examples from closer relations and friends. You wrote "that all or 99.9% females are liars and cheats" ok, not that they cant love or be committed but why the STIGMA ![]() Dont ever think in this life that material things are all it takes to be a woman.. a woman is stronger than a man (in quote) its that same woman that can fight to raise the kids alone as a single parent should the guy abandon her for another woman or dies.. including other things. So people, we all both male and females should try our best to have a peaceful Coexistence amongst us, and even if we can't be with our partners due to issues, then lets not tarnish the images of one another because of it rather, see how best to become the best out of the situation, thanks. 1 Like |
Re: That Moment When You Stop Having Sex And Discover Why A Breakup Is Good For You by PRESTIGERYHME(f): 5:42pm On Jul 22, 2016 |
d lady above me, pls summarize everything in one sentence tank u8) |
Re: That Moment When You Stop Having Sex And Discover Why A Breakup Is Good For You by PRESTIGERYHME(f): 5:42pm On Jul 22, 2016 |
d lady above me, pls summarize everything in one sentence tank u8) |
Re: That Moment When You Stop Having Sex And Discover Why A Breakup Is Good For You by chocolateme(f): 5:53pm On Jul 22, 2016 |
PRESTIGERYHME:in summary, he is telling us the benefits of a break up in a relationship. Due to the fact that many people always sees the negative and wrong side of breakup, that there are still lots to gain from there too. You can scan the list and get the gist dear. |
Re: That Moment When You Stop Having Sex And Discover Why A Breakup Is Good For You by Tenkobos(m): 5:56pm On Jul 22, 2016 |
Nice one 1 Like |
Re: That Moment When You Stop Having Sex And Discover Why A Breakup Is Good For You by superemmy(m): 6:22pm On Jul 22, 2016 |
chocolateme: I couldn't have said it any better. Your insight is Valid and noted. |
Re: That Moment When You Stop Having Sex And Discover Why A Breakup Is Good For You by masseratti: 9:45pm On Jul 22, 2016 |
Well you try but Life is not black and white, even players do fall in love, do all you wrote to obe they really desire, and careless about the others they play. |
Re: That Moment When You Stop Having Sex And Discover Why A Breakup Is Good For You by PRESTIGERYHME(f): 10:25pm On Jul 22, 2016 |
chocolateme:I get d gist 1 Like |
Re: That Moment When You Stop Having Sex And Discover Why A Breakup Is Good For You by PRESTIGERYHME(f): 6:53am On Jul 23, 2016 |
chocolateme:a kiss for u 2 Likes |
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