People keep telling me I am funny, I should become a comedian but I don’t think I am that funny, I think I am a bit funny and I love making people smile and laugh, I am just here sharing my jokes. I hope you enjoy it. I will share 3 jokes per day. I could write a story form jokes but will do one line as I hate to read epistle too. Hope you enjoy it. Let me know if you like any of the jokes otherwise have a great day :-)

1) Nigerians love to dance too much, even the horses on our coats of arms are dancing shakiti bobo.

2) They asked Ruggedman- did you leave music? he said no I never left music, it was music that left me.

3) Love is what you promise a girl when you don’t have money.

4) Sometimes I wish I was from Zimbabwe, I could just send my mum 2000 naira and go mum -build yourself a mansion.

5) Nigerians are respectful people but If a Nigerian is using 3 sirs in a sentence for you, they want something from you.

6) I have studied slavery, it is a complex issue, contrary to what everyone thinks, it is not so black and white.

7) Nigerian men are sexist chauvinistic pigs, why are these men stopping Nigerian women from fighting in Sambisa Forest?

Do you know why gays dress well? Because they spend most of their life in the closet.

9) You see 10 white guys and a black guy, you think- progressive guys. You see 10 black guys and one white guy, you think- serious brushing waiting to happen.

10) Now it is fashionable to wear my junior brother’s trousers. we all are wearing my junior brother dash me

11) You don’t know the value of something until you auction it

12) People say no one is born ugly, just broke, I ask them how rich does Obj have to get

14) I hate going to concerts, you will hear, two fingers in the hair, both hands in the hair, jump jump, I came to have fun- when did you become my personal trainer?

15) 2face said he is officially blind, I always see him wearing glasses in door I just thought he had Apollo.

16) I am bigger than 9ice, I have 3 pockets.

17) An Imo girl walked up to her fiancé, with the list and without looking at it, he said- is that all and I was scared before- just 16 pages mtscheew, she smiled, brought his head closer and whispered in his ear- honey, this is just the table of content.

18) See all this yeye girls, fake breast, fake butt, fake face but they want real love.

19) Most European footballers end their career at 31, most Nigerian footballers start theirs at 35. Micheal Obi is going play till 2072.

20) White people improve technologically, we improve dancially, I swear before the i-phone 8 is out, black people will have a new dance!

21) Everybody is weird if you really get to know them and the most common weirdness is what we call normal.

22) I think I am better than everyone, I think I have inferiority simple.

23) England -a country where you pay a tax on a tax.

24) Procrastination is not always bad, think about the lives saved because a terrorist is procrastinating.

25) I am not saying you are ugly, I am just saying you look like every before picture.

26) An arse’hole Canadian is a very friendly American.

27) Everything is Buhari’s fault, Give person food without fork. See what buhari has caused during GEJ era they used to bring food with fork!

28) Is ballet not really stretching with music?

29) What is the meaning of colonise? When 9ice don craze.

30) I am a fine boy no pimples with make-up

31) Agbo to tadi meyin ogbon ati salo lowa.

32) If you manage to get admission into Ede Poly and something is telling you to drop out that you will be next Mark Zucekrberg, abeg no try am ooo, Na God I use beg you. If you drop out na one chance you enter.
33) Nigeria teaches you about success because on the road to success there are many pot holes.
34) The Nigerian budget is like our woman bum bum padded.

35) The P-square got back together because they realise that blood is thicker than zobo.
36) I am dating a Chinese girl, I am not even sure if her love is real.
37) In the past, bad women were called witches, now they are called bi’tches, men have not changed a bit.

keep winning, you're good!!

solz007:
keep winning, you're good!!

Thanks I really appreciate am :-)

38) They have only one queen and we call it ilu oba, we have over 1000 kings and queens, isn’t our land the real ilu oba.
39) Asa and small doctor kolewerk, jog ninu Sambisa kolewerk, chop stick mu kunu kolewerk.
40) The fastest text reply you will ever get is text me your account number.

41) Most guys don’t like a female boss not me, I don’t mind a woman on top!
42) I would hate to be an artist in China, you sell like 100 million albums and you are still upcoming.
43) AY first movie- 30 days in Atlanta, the next one a trip to Jamaica, does AY know that he can apply for a country’s visa without shooting a movie there, someone should tell him most countries give visiting. I don’t want to see a week in Russia oooo.

44) Nigeria typical, they sent our team to Olympics, food dem no give but expect them to bring back gold. They want you to pull yourself up by your shoestrap but common slippers dem no give you.
45) Upon all Nigerian’s noise, A Kenyan is the first to rule America, but the main reason a Kenyan ruled first is because election in the US is a marathon not a sprint.
46) 5 star music is full of 3 star artists.

Nice 1 . I like the fact that u r original

adesanya2014:
Nice 1 . I like the fact that u r original

Thanks very much bros!!!

47) If you love someone let them go, if they come back they couldn’t do better.
48) No wonder Seun Kuti be aitheist, he smoke so much weed so tey he thinks he is the most high.
49) Is a critic not really a paid hater?

50) I don’t date big women due to health and safety, Legally I am not allowed to carry anything above 60 Kg alone.
51) Jonathan was competent in economic matters but incompetent in corruption matters. Buhari is competent in corruption matters but incompetent in economy. Jonathan should have remained president and Buhari should have elected as EFCC chairman.
52) If a Nigerian has an option to poison himself with local or foreign poison, a Nigerian will always choose foreign poison.

53) I want to be so rich when women see me they are like -how can I trap him?
54) Before people used to wake up to hustle for money, now people wake up to hustle for likes.
55) I dropped my phone so now every phone call is a private call.

56) I have yet to seen an Okada with a Satnav.
57)A Nigerian will build a university and send his children to study abroad, imagine I open a restaurant, I never chop there, will you chop there?
58) Is it discriminating if you don't want a stammerer as your lawyer?

59) Ghanians on average live 5 years longer than Nigerians, 5 miserable years
60) Whenever I hear Buhari’s name I sigh.
61) dabbing has to stop, one of my friend just hit his head on a soakaway.

62) why does Sarkodie keep saying money no be problem, is he into bunkering?
63) Why 2face changed to 2Baba, we all know he is not 2 faced but he like to dey 2 baba.
64) I know why they are called dream team because they play like they are sleeping.

65) Are all rapper now just into ponmo cos they no longer beef.
66) I am wearing wrinkle shirt people are complaining, I told my my sister I am fashion forward remember when I used to wear torn jeans, now people are copying me.
67) There is nothing oyinbo will make that ibo will not copy, oyinbo created ipod, ibo created ipob.

68) British English to Nigerian English
Chat up --- toast
fancy ----- trip
date ---- down payment
69) I shock for my church today, is this thanksgiving or oppressing?
70) If you follow history well, you go sabi sey H was Kidnapped from the Yoruba's and dem still dey negotiate e ransom. .

Another very funny comedy from Mark Angel Comedy ft Oluwadolarz Room Of Comedy
Watch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkxApTHdV-M

71) Went to watch a theatre play yesterday, I swear everything was staged.
72) If you can't take the heat, don't come to Africa.
73) Nigeria is going through a civil war right now- Jonathan's supporter vs Buhari's supporter.

74) No wonder everyone is singing kolewerk, Ghana ti take over.
75) Love happens when money meet good look.
76) There are three advantages to being black, if you are white you have a million, the first is we tend to look younger when we are 50 we still look 20, second we don't use sun cream, sun cream is a tax only white people pay and the third you know!

kudos man

love it mehhen