I have been observing people in my church for a long time and I have made a list of the various kinds of people you find in a typical Nigerian church.

1. Bible Scholars.

They are always very serious, writing everything the pastor says, and nodding their head every now and then. I was shocked to see a brother by my side today writing everything the pastor said including the “praise the lord”, “amen” e.t.c they are always waving their hands and shouting yess at any little thing the pastor says.

2. Talkers.

All they do is to talk. Sometimes I wonder if there is pepper in their mouth as they just talk and laugh loudly. They wouldnt even hide it as they talk loudly and laugh carelessly. Sometimes it takes the intervention of the ushers to separate the two talkatives or group chatters. Once, a pastor on the altar shouted “Shut Up” on a girl from the congregation out of reflex action due to her endless talking.

3. The Sleepers

This set of people sleep through out the service. They can be found at vintage points near the fans or A.C. They would then bow their heads and sleep off and when the ushers wake them up, they would insist that they were only sleeping, there was one minister that layed down on the floor all in the name of praying with anointing and he went to chibok from there.

4. Walkers

This set of people can walk from lagos to port harcourt. All they do is to go in and out of the church. They can’t sit down comfortably for 5 minutes. They always have something to do either to change money for offering or to buy tom tom and baba blue. You would hear them saying words like, sorry, pls excuse me, get your bag out of the way e.t.c. An elder in my church had to slap one brother like that because he was always going in and out, disturbing the woman.

5. The Eaters

People that belong to this group are fond of eating. Their mouth is always closed but moving rapidly. I could not beleive my eyes last wheek when I saw a woman, a choir member for that matter eating corn at the front row during service sshe brought differnt items from her bag like corn, plantain, e.t.c and was eating it stupidly to the amazement of the church members, the pastors wife had to seize her bags.

6. Frosh Kids

This people come to church with a lot of pride. They dress as if they are going to see Buhari. They also apply a lot of heavy make up (for girls). They dress extravagantly with all the latest dress or clothes reigning even though they don’t have money. They would now start forming british accent. They wear all type of jwellry, head chain , neck chain, hand chain, waist chain, leg chain e.t.c. They usually come very late for notice me purpose holding their heads high and holding the latest technological gadgets in their hands as they catwalk to their seat hoping to impress that boy/girl they have been crushing on.

lalasticlala Which one do you belong to?
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Happy Sunday

OK, let's me go and observe in my own church too

7. The 'show what u have' type

this typ only com to church only wen they av new or cute wears. However not, u'd neva c dem in church