Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by Nobody: 8:36am On Aug 07, 2016 |
2dugged: The truth is I can't even allow my brother to marry a woman that lives abroad but I can and also encourage my sister to do so Why is that? |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by Ugosample(m): 8:42am On Aug 07, 2016 |
quickly:
some guys find it easy to get a home based naija girl.
Small washing she don fall. The man is thinking of a woman like his mother the girl is thinking of euros and she will be on her best behavior.
And some want a girl who will.maintain that home grown naija training, home cooking similar to his mom Also
Once abroad the foreign law favor women so the naija guy who is trying to avoid stubborn woman who wants 50% of u r money will settle for home based.
Ordinary slap oyinbo go jail u. Home based can't call police for u but those abroad will not think twice.
but these r generalization and woman na woman after all and not all r doing same
Eventually the home based naija girl go still open eye after many years. Ordinary slap? So you think it is ok to slap your wife? 4 Likes |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by Nobody: 8:44am On Aug 07, 2016 |
CFCman:
Why is that? our sisters marrying white men have always worked out but check out the analysis of marrying ourselves over there |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by otokx(m): 8:45am On Aug 07, 2016 |
What a thread? A lot of generalizations.
One baffling thing though is when we see couples who met and reside outside Nigeria permanently coming back to Nigeria to do wedding ceremonies even when they have done registry wedding over there. |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by aariwa(m): 8:52am On Aug 07, 2016 |
BlessedFellow01:
It is quite hard to find homely ladies abroad. The demand far exceeds the supply. Majority of them have gone the Western way of life but still expect you as guy to be the father Christmas. They still want to milk you dry. While I was dicsussing with one of them she told me whoever she will marry MUST BE RICH. She also told me her flatmate had made same resolution. Modus vivendi of some of them is parallel to what an average Nigerian man wants.
I am stuck in the valley of decision right now. I'm considering marrying someone in Nigeria rather than here. Go to a Jamaican church and find a lady you like,if it works out marry her.They dont believe in divorce and unlike nigerian women they will cook for you,are loyal and respect your role as the head of the family whether you are rich or not.Many people from my hometown did that and it worked out,some even brought their own to nigeria and they are still living together after 30 years of marriage.Follow my advice and come here and thank me after 10 years of marriage 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by eemjay(f): 8:52am On Aug 07, 2016 |
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Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by Ugosample(m): 8:56am On Aug 07, 2016 |
Observer25:
My friend relax..don't let this your new found American love get so much into your head. How can you say Nigeria is one of the worst places in the world to be a woman? You serious? What you talking about? Even the ladies here in this forum will disagree with you. And yes..one year is too soon to reach a conclusion about women in the US/UK. Give it sometime! Have you been to Northern Nigeria before? If you have been around Nigeria, and not judging based on your own small circle, you will know that he is right. Nigeria is one of the worst places to be a woman, at least among worst 50 countries 4 Likes |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by MicroBox: 8:58am On Aug 07, 2016 |
Ugosample:
I think the major problem with we Africans, who live in western countries is that there is this socio cultural expectation(s) that was ingrained in us, about how a man/woman should act/behave etc, and because it is in contrast with the liberal societal expectations of the West, then it causes friction.
Let like minds marry each other biko ![shocked](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/shocked.gif)
If your brain and expectation is still stuck in the 19th century, then you know what to do . We Africans have a guide which is the sacred books, Al-Qur'an and Bible because we are religious people either practicing or not. In these books there guides and illustrations on the position of women in marriage. It's not the matter of 16,17,18 or19 century. Beside in these books women are seen as fragile and be treated like gold and not as equal to the gold miner. Even from the creation of man and woman, if a man talk a manly voice is expected to be heard so also a woman voice is expected to be heard from her. ilu to ko ba so ofin, ko si eshe. Any land without a law will never have a convict. 1 Like |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by LuvU2: 9:00am On Aug 07, 2016 |
Dreamwaker: Nigerian women are useless, when you taste the white berry, black berry becomes tasteless. oh i see |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by DeRay98(m): 9:03am On Aug 07, 2016 |
[b] And Cynthia, stop praying for your Mother-in-law to die grin. (the old woman probably attends MFM Church &she's got a few "Back2Sender" prayer-bullets for you too, in case u decide to be an assassin)sad! This is what some lazy, selfish, stupid girls secretly wish, so that they can take "control" of the man for their selfish interests. Hence, they see mother-in-laws as barriers to their plans, they fail to realize that some time in the not-so-far away future the stone they throw to mother-in-law will drop on their own head from another would-be daughter-in-law. 1 Like |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by Ugosample(m): 9:04am On Aug 07, 2016 |
MicroBox:
We Africans have a guide which is the sacred books, Al-Qur'an and Bible because we are religious people either practicing or not. In these books there guides and illustrations on the position of women in marriage. It's not the matter of 16,17,18 or19 century. Beside in these books women are seen as fragile and be treated like gold and not as equal to the gold miner. Even from the creation of man and woman, if a man talk a manly voice is expected to be heard so also a woman voice is expected to be heard from her. ilu to ko ba so ofin, ko si eshe. Any land without a law will never have a convict. O.K. Let the principles in the book guide BOTH partners then. It should not apply to women alone. |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by Nobody: 9:05am On Aug 07, 2016 |
LuvU2: oh i see My kid brother wrote that, wasn't me |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by 989900E: 9:15am On Aug 07, 2016 |
chachanga: [b]Boys will date, wine&dine even impregnate these ladies but still run back here for good old "home-loving" when marriage issues arises.
Apart from insane "family pressures" from home, it seems most, are, at heart still just akpu & ewedu boys when the chips are down . Bone the Brooklyn swags & the Cockney accent; our socio-cultural source-points did do a few numbers on us in setting some future marital expectations &agendas for us also .
So, the situation gets further worsened when the said ladies too don't seem to realize that some changes do occur, but only trans-'generationally' and not instantaneously. So as for ur expecting Naija guys to fit the bill of your newfound, "enlightened" or "postmodern man concept, U go jonze tire !
Not many are comfortable with the extreme liberalism, feminism and women's rights practised and available to our sistahs naturalised abroad but they'll date & screw u just d same , only to dump u later or marry home-based Chichi, Enoh or Bola behind ur back!
Hence, You either get ready to search till you find that ur one-in-a-million guy OR you adjust your expectations and start learning to cook more than Chinese Noodles because if u do marry an Ewedu boy or his Akpu counterpart, my dear, you will cook. ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) And Cynthia, stop praying for your Mother-in-law to die . (the old woman probably attends MFM Church &she's got a few "Back2Sender" prayer-bullets for you too, in case u decide to be an assassin) ! I may be wrong sha but the fault goes both ways.
Girls: Don't nurse "unnecessary" expectations just because dat guy dey folow u do UK Masters. ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) Boys: Stop screwwing and "partying-hard" with those ladies if you know you'll use it to judge them later! [/b] On the money!!! 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by chigoizie7(m): 9:51am On Aug 07, 2016 |
pippimp:
You mean confident. It's only in Nigeria/Africa you can treat a woman like dirt. You can't try it in a normal country. That is what makes us who we are, Africans, that is what we are, if I refuse to marry a Naija babe because she is rude or does not conform to what I want in a woma, that's entirely my business, I am not complaining, am I? No. So, if u as a woman didn't fit in to what I as a man wants in a woman I want to marry, it is ur business, not mine, and if u have a problem with that, change, if u don't want to, then keep being who u want to be and stop complaining why Nigerian men marry most of white ladies than their fellow Nigerians. It is my choice, not urs to make for me. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by Bisjosh(f): 9:54am On Aug 07, 2016 |
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Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by Kassidy90(m): 10:07am On Aug 07, 2016 |
lefulefu:
dont be surprised that the one on the left snapping wit fone might even be a better cook and more homely than the other one.not all things are clear cut in black and white my broda. Can't argue that but my bro u knw wat I mean its not only abt cooking that pic has many interpretations 1 Like |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by spinoff: 10:15am On Aug 07, 2016 |
chachanga: [b]Boys will date, wine&dine even impregnate these ladies but still run back here for good old "home-loving" when marriage issues arises.
Apart from insane "family pressures" from home, it seems most, are, at heart still just akpu & ewedu boys when the chips are down . Bone the Brooklyn swags & the Cockney accent; our socio-cultural source-points did do a few numbers on us in setting some future marital expectations &agendas for us also .
So, the situation gets further worsened when the said ladies too don't seem to realize that some changes do occur, but only trans-'generationally' and not instantaneously. So as for ur expecting Naija guys to fit the bill of your newfound, "enlightened" or "postmodern man concept, U go jonze tire !
Not many are comfortable with the extreme liberalism, feminism and women's rights practised and available to our sistahs naturalised abroad but they'll date & screw u just d same , only to dump u later or marry home-based Chichi, Enoh or Bola behind ur back!
Hence, You either get ready to search till you find that ur one-in-a-million guy OR you adjust your expectations and start learning to cook more than Chinese Noodles because if u do marry an Ewedu boy or his Akpu counterpart, my dear, you will cook. ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) And Cynthia, stop praying for your Mother-in-law to die . (the old woman probably attends MFM Church &she's got a few "Back2Sender" prayer-bullets for you too, in case u decide to be an assassin) ! I may be wrong sha but the fault goes both ways.
Girls: Don't nurse "unnecessary" expectations just because dat guy dey folow u do UK Masters. ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) Boys: Stop screwwing and "partying-hard" with those ladies if you know you'll use it to judge them later! [/b] There! 1 Like |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by pippimp(m): 10:28am On Aug 07, 2016 |
chigoizie7:
That is what makes us who we are, Africans, that is what we are, if I refuse to marry a Naija babe because she is rude or does not conform to what I want in a woma, that's entirely my business, I am not complaining, am I? No.
So, if u as a woman didn't fit in to what I as a man wants in a woman I want to marry, it is ur business, not mine, and if u have a problem with that, change, if u don't want to, then keep being who u want to be and stop complaining why Nigerian men marry most of white ladies than their fellow Nigerians.
It is my choice, not urs to make for me. That is what is keeping Africa in the stone age. The whole world is changing but you guys want to keep the pre historic mentality going. It is not working for you but you don't care. The issue is not that a woman is rude but what most African men consider as rude. Confidence to them is rude. If you lived in a normal society, your perception would be different. I assure you. It is not coincidence that Africa/Nigeria is the way it is today. The way you guys think is amazing to say the least. Same with a child in Europe and the Americas. Most Nigerians would consider them rude, but they confuse that with confidence. That is why at 18, they are out of their homes and getting on with their lives. Meanwhile a 25 year old man in Nigeria, is still sucking his mothers tits at home. At 18 Bill Gates was already forming ideas about microsoft. In Nigeria, he would have been termed a rude young man. What you guys like is subjugation. Eyes down, head down, and shoulders slumped forward. You can't comprehend eyes up, head up and shoulders squared. Everything about our culture points to it. Prostrating, kneeling, crouching, etc. You guys had better wake up. Cc cococandy. . P.s sorry about my outburst the other day. 12 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by Obiwannn: 10:29am On Aug 07, 2016 |
Nancy2016:
You have just explained why some Naija men go home to get married. They don't want to marry their equals. They don't want exposed and enlightened woman who know their rights. All those posters saying that it's because the girls are promiscuous, this shows the calibre of people you guys are. You meet these "gold-diggers" because you don't interact with women of substance. All my friends are educated, independent women with good careers. A lot of Nigerian women are very successful and doing very well for themselves. This sometimes intimidates guys especially those who haven't progressed in life. Also there are a lot of weddings between Nigerians based abroad. Not all anyways. And anyman who doesnt love an independent lady should get his head checked. The problem is when the said lady wants to boss the man and refuses to respect him as she should (respect is reciprocal anyways). Truth is many Nigerian ladies as someone pointed out are more Western than the Westerners themselves, many choose to be liabilities, while being bossy as an icing. No one wants to get married to a Potential Divorcee . 3 Likes |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by Obiwannn: 10:35am On Aug 07, 2016 |
Nancy2016, all i was trying to say has already been said by Bigfrancis21 Nice post. bigfrancis21:
The issue is not with typical Nigerian men not standing such 'rich', 'confident' or 'independent' lady but it is the totally different attitude or behaviour that comes with such women when they get to have these things. Most lose their humility, subservience etc. for any man and begin to have unrealistic expectations about their relations with men. With Western feminism being propagated worldwide via Hollywood movies, women in traditional patriarchal countries are catching wind of this. I am not against equal rights for women whatsoever. Women should be allowed to do the same things men do in the society but truth be told there are certain roles which are best played by men (leadership, innovation, development etc.) and some roles which are best played by women (raising the great men and women of the world, mediation, empathy, child rearing etc). To be honest, some women are not able to keep a cool head when they are in power or in possession of great wealth, and with the typical Nigerian man who is traditionally raised to be a man in his society and who knows his role as a man in the society, this is the major issue they have with these 'independent' women. Time after time, what women gain by being feminist or 'independent' in terms of financial or material success, they lose in their private life. 50-50. No man worth his onions (by this I mean who knows he is a man, knows his role in the society and takes pride in being a man) would want to settle with a feminist-charged woman who want to see the roles reversed in the house. This explains why most of them remain single, because they find it difficult to submit to a man in a relationship. Time after time, they have unrealistic expectations of relationships should be, with feminism all over the place. Of course, there are some men who are not too ambitious, who would have no problem pairing up with feminist women and not mind being house husbands and submitting to their wives who become the primary financial caregiver. In case you don't know, many ladies in America, especially black ladies, are so feminist that they want to be on top in a relationship, they want to be the man in the relationship instead, they are always right and never wrong, they would never admit to being sorry for anything even when they know they were wrong, they want to control you and order you around but WOULD NEVER TRY TO LET YOU CONTROL THEM, they view being a woman as being weak and they try to be men instead. They leave the women they were created to be and try to be men instead. Any MAN worth his onions would never want such a woman as a spouse and MEN go off looking for more traditional/submissive women as partners and the feminist ones-man-trying-to-be are left single for most of their lives. Feminism has been identified as one of the greatest destructive forces in the black american community. In the AA community, about 72% of mothers are single mothers, raising families single-handed. Most of them are unable to keep a man or barely know how to keep a spouse, barely know that relationships are mutual, barely know the sacrifices they would have to make as wives/female spouse to keep a relationship going, etc. They expect to be treated good all the time by their man, or as 'queens' that they like to call it, but never feel obliged to treat their man good in return. Many don't realize that you give to receive. Affection does not flow in one direction only, it goes both ways. With feminism, coupled with the unavailability of eligible good black men, most black american women expect to remain single for all their lives, having only boyfriends here and there as life goes on. In marriages many barely know their roles as wives, or the sacrifices wives make in a marriage, because they grew up in single-mom households and never saw their moms being wives to their dads or step-dads to learn from them, and the marriages they have, if any, barely last. Funny enough, feminism started with white European females but white American ladies till today are more subservient, womanly, and know their roles as wives than black women.
Honestly, if a woman can be wealthy, comfortable and still remain humble or submit to her spouse, cook for him, etc. most men would not have any problem with that. A good man will try to support such woman in her endeavours. No man wants a woman who tries to challenge his status as a man every time, who tries to be the 'man' instead etc. A good example of such women is Dr. Ngozi Iweala, a great woman with an international status who never rubs her success as woman on her husband's face or tries to challenge him or be on top of him because she is more successful than him. These women realize that outside their matrimonial home, they can charge up to men whatsoever but once they step foot in their house, their spouse is in charge and they submit. Check this out: the most successful marriages in America today, a country with high divorce rates where 50% of marriages end up in divorce, are still those ones that follow the traditional system of beliefs where the male is the primary financial giver and the female is the primary child care giver at home either as full time housewives or career mothers. That should tell you something. |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by ricki: 10:37am On Aug 07, 2016 |
madridsta007: Interesting thread. I used to ask this question to myself till, I came close, attempted to date a Nigerian lady in a certain European country. I'm not going to disclose the name of the country.
They are largely, feminists, in fact more feminists than the progenitors of feminism, the Swedish. Sadly, they come through as uncouth, belligerent, arrogant and seem to always live on the edge of some unrestrained emotion. And of course, a good percentage can not cook. I remember when I once made pepper-soup for a love feast- many ladies couldn't believe I made it. I was like, huh? The ones that act this way, are persons who have gone through a lot in solidifying their stay in the West, that their capacity to reason sensibly takes flight. This is not only Nigerian ladies, though. Black ladies. They just have this 'problem.' A good percentage. Why will a Nigerian man, with a Nigerian-like home training, get someone who could potentially ask for a divorce the next day?
Hence, the reason why men go and take what is the less riskier route, a lady from Nigeria. It is less risky. The black ladies often get their 'sense' when they are in their mid/ late thirties. Then, it becomes a bit difficult to find someone serious.
i really respest ur honesty and wisdom bro...... in summary, naija females, be high risk. bigfrancis21 i hail you 1 Like |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by Nobody: 10:46am On Aug 07, 2016 |
I believe everyone has his reason for making a choice. That's as simple as it is but if you think you are not satisfied with my answer Then you kin ....kis moi asz ![tongue](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/tongue.png) |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by Jeffobinna1(m): 10:47am On Aug 07, 2016 |
When you go outside and see what Nigerian ladies do in abroad you will hate them forever i swear. |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by GloriaNinja(f): 11:26am On Aug 07, 2016 |
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Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by GloriaNinja(f): 11:27am On Aug 07, 2016 |
mikolo80: but they will tolerate loneliness whatever. |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by bogolobango(m): 11:33am On Aug 07, 2016 |
Who wan marry Naija sef |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by yomz1e(m): 11:41am On Aug 07, 2016 |
[b]You'd be surprise people still do, a man in his 30s who has no legal papers to travel out and don't want to marry oyinbo or Nija girl where he is, will ask his people back home to send a potential Jennifer. when she arrives , he discovers either she's a good girl or proper runs girl turn temporarily good for marriage sake. If the guy can't afford to give her the lifestyle she wants, she hooks up with another guy making money or an ex that's abroad as well....end of marriage. Bro I live abroad, I have seen things unimaginable within the Nigerian community in the last decade. Yes you right tonnes of educated women, have you also seen the rate of divorce in Nigerian communities? Remember education doesn't make you a wise or husband, also permit me to use this analogy, the fruit maybe attractive outside, it's the hidden worm inside you should worry about like you said it's a matter of choice .... Please any single ladies here, my mate is single with no baby mamas.... So msg me and I will send ur pics to him.. And you your credit rating has to be good ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) [/b] Observer25:
Who still goes back home for village girl? When there are tones of educated univ and masters level ladies at home. It is a different generation bro. Some of the ladies here have not even completed university- still hustling. African men have great options now. Lots of ladies are comfortable back home and even doing better than some of the ladies abroad. It is a matter of choice. U can decide to choose from the above average 20 something nigeria ladies in your community abroad or go home to select a stunning beauty out of thousands. Is a personal choice.
3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by Nobody: 11:47am On Aug 07, 2016 |
2 Likes |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by Richie77: 11:52am On Aug 07, 2016 |
If I start to talk....... Naija ladies out there especially u.k based naija ladies are not fair. They can frustrate someone's life like... |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by yomz1e(m): 12:09pm On Aug 07, 2016 |
I disagree bro, no woman wants a wasteman, everywoman wants security for herself and children, why do you think the rich marry rich? besides if she wants more , she's sees the potential in you to be greater. Those kind of girls you mentioned are everywhere white or black and maybe you too go show yourself as a big boy when you 1st met, and now you can't keep up with the big boy status , so don't blame the girl blame your own decision making. The fact is women are more enlightened , empowered and self achieving, so any wasteman feels threatened and can't keep up with them. atleast one thing you said is right , go Nija go marry. Good luck BlessedFellow01:
It is quite hard to find homely ladies abroad. The demand far exceeds the supply. Majority of them have gone the Western way of life but still expect you as guy to be the father Christmas. They still want to milk you dry. While I was dicsussing with one of them she told me whoever she will marry MUST BE RICH. She also told me her flatmate had made same resolution. Modus vivendi of some of them is parallel to what an average Nigerian man wants.
I am stuck in the valley of decision right now. I'm considering marrying someone in Nigeria rather than here. 1 Like |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by yomz1e(m): 12:14pm On Aug 07, 2016 |
please if you can't handle our London Nija women , leave them alone we are happy with their strength, wisdom and character, if you can't handle the heat stay out the kitchen. We the real men are happy 4 Likes |
Re: Why Is It That Nigerians Abroad Hardly Marry Nigerian Ladies Over There? by winj3: 12:17pm On Aug 07, 2016 |
The list is endless: fake hair makeup, hair and clothing hygiene backward mentality from back home naive attitude to religion always take back seat with men many cannot operate independently without supervision problems integrating in host country |