With a killer figure, which was accentuated with her figure-hugging red mini dress and six-inches high black slippers, which made her tower above virtually everybody around her, it would be hard not to give her a second look as she paced down the walkway of a popular mall in the Ikeja area of Lagos on a Saturday evening in February 2014. It was a day after the Valentine’s Day.
Holding a brown leather purse in her left hand and a rose gold-coloured smartphone in her right hand, the cologne she was wearing seemed to make her garner the attention of everyone around her. She must have learned somehow that wearing a scented deodorant could help boost body image and self-assurance.
Her hair could not be easily ignored as well. That the artificial hair extension is expensive is not in doubt; she equally knew it could attract attention, thus the reason she must have let it loose as it flowed all the way down her back, almost to her bottom. Of course, a subtle flip and flick of the hair there and then added to the sexiness she exuded and made more people gaze at her alluringly and adoringly.
After some minutes of ‘feigned’ window-shopping at some of the fashion stores in the mall, she entered one of the eateries, her shoulders kept back and her chin slightly up. She ordered for a glass of fruit juice and fried chips. Then she sat, hoping for her expectation to come true.
Would her magic work? It finally did that day.
A young man donning a brown polo shirt, blue jeans, white sneakers and a pair of nerd-looking glasses — who had been sitting alone across her — walked up to her to give her some compliments. It was what she had been waiting for in the past two years.
Fast forward to a year later, Busayo, now 33, got married to the man she met at the mall — a software developer in an Information Technology firm at Lekki, Lagos. Both now have a child.
“It was like a dream, though it was one I had been anticipating,” Busayo, who was not shy to share her experience, told our correspondent during the week.
She definitely was one lady who was not afraid to do whatever it took to get a man to marry after some years of what seemed to be an endless search.
An Economics graduate and an employee of a bank on Lagos Island, she said she had spent years praying for a husband, but that despite her prayers, no “serious” man came her way.
She said, “I started a relationship with a guy when I was in 300 Level at the University of Ibadan. The relationship was on till 2010 when we both graduated. He promised he was going to marry me and almost everyone in my family had known him, but when we went for the National Youth Service Corps programme in 2011, everything changed. I was posted to Kaduna State and he was posted to Rivers State. The change started manifesting when I would call him and he wouldn’t pick my calls. I would send chats to him on Facebook but he wouldn’t respond. It was unusual of him. Initially, I thought maybe it was because he was very busy at his place of primary assignment.
“Two weeks on, he didn’t return my calls, he didn’t respond to my chats. When I couldn’t bear it anymore, I sent a nasty text message to him to demand why he was hurting me. It was then he called me and said he was seriously considering our relationship. At that point, I knew he was going to leave me. I was not a child. So we broke up. Few weeks later, I started seeing him use a lady as his display picture on BlackBerry Messenger. They got married. Since then, I had got no interest from men.
“Thank God I got a banking job in 2013, so it kept me busy to the extent that some times when it crossed my mind that I had yet to marry, I didn’t allow the thoughts to stay. But about three years ago when I clocked 30, I figured out my life was not going to be all about job. No man was coming my way. I had to wake up. It was actually from a book on relationship that I learned that sometimes you have to go for something if you really want it. To be sincere, each time I went to the church, the wedding ceremonies of my friends and other events, I used to anticipate meeting a man that would say he would marry me. And I learned that the way a lady carries herself determines whether men would approach her or not.”
Apparently, Busayo’s anticipation got her her goal and her story is one which revolves around a popular saying, “If the mountain won’t come to Mohammed, then Mohammed must go to the mountain.”
However, in her search for a marital partner, did her method not translate to desperation?
She argued, “I don’t think so. I didn’t propose to any man. It’s something I could never have done. I was not desperate. I was only conscious of how I looked at every point in time to get some attention, at least. I presented myself for proposal and I thank God the man who finally came to me is a God-fearing man. I don’t know whether I would have married if I had stayed indoors or had just been praying for my man to come without taking any step.”
Shopping for lovers
Busayo is certainly not the only lady who took the bull by the horn, damned the consequences and devised new techniques to get a husband.
Findings have shown that one of the ways some ladies looking for marital partners have devised is to visit places where men usually are and try as much as possible to create scenes to get the men’s attention.
A 26-year-old female teacher, who lives in Ketu, Lagos, simply named Toyin, told our correspondent what three of her friends looking for husbands usually do in order to see if their dreams would come to pass.
She said, “I have a man I’m in a relationship with right now and we’re planning to get married next year. He is an engineer and my friends know him. But I have three close friends who are also looking for husbands. They had been in relationships in the past, but now they are stranded. They are under pressure to marry, I really don’t know why they are allowing themselves to be pressurised. In their desperation, every Saturday or Sunday, they go to the Ikeja City Mall or any other mall or eatery where there are men. They try as much as possible to look very good when going out. They sometimes go the extra length of buying new clothes and shoes to wear.
“You would think they are at the mall to shop for things, but no, they are ‘shopping’ for men. They would move around the mall, especially where they notice there are men who are without female company and they would try to make the men notice them. If it’s an eatery, they would buy drinks and sit separately and strategically. They said they were not going to sit at home and wait for men to come to them.
“I thought they had lost their minds when they told me this themselves, but it has actually worked for one of them. She met the guy last month at an eatery at Maryland (Lagos). They exchanged contacts and since then, the guy has been calling her. I just pray for her it ends in a good relationship which would lead to marriage.”
Asked whether her friends were really looking for husbands at malls or just boyfriends, Toyin said, “No, they want husbands; they are looking for who would marry them. They are really serious about getting into serious relationships.”
Read full article here - http://punchng.com/ladies-new-methods-shopping-husbands/
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