The New Guy (short Story) - Literature - Nairaland
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| The New Guy (short Story) by gracile(f): 9:12pm On Aug 15, 2016 |
My very first story; dedicating it to literature-landers and all book lovers.. Read a lot of works here and after much push, I've finally decided to give myself a try at prose. Please read, enjoy, criticise and compliment this piece. Thank you Cc: tiffanyj, royver, oluwabuqqyolo, theagba, thronekid, everyother book lovers; y'all welcome! 1 Like |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by munchi(m): 9:24pm On Aug 15, 2016 |
I don carry m seat for vip  .....Abeg op I think say Na free pop corn  |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by gracile(f): 9:34pm On Aug 15, 2016 |
~CHAPTER 1~ It was a cool evening in one of the most serene neighborhoods in jos city. On weathers like this, at this time, people want to take walks with their headphones on or just cycle to cool off after a busy day or in most cases, after a long dour day. But the streets were rather empty and deserted which wasn't so much of a surprise based on the frequency of kidnaps these days. The car rode at a normal speed as it turned left off the major road and into the government residential area (G.R.A). From the towering duplexes and exquisite mansions, one need not be told that this was a settlement reserved for the elites of the city. It all screamed of opulence and wealth. Sally shifted her mind back to the lecture hall, as the image of the dark-skinned man came flooding back. How could she have been oblivious of his evilness? As if his sinister eyes and his smoked charred lips weren't enough evidence. I have never been so naive! She almost echoed out loud. She brought her gaze back to the car. Then eased back to a more relaxed position as the events of the last week played itself in her head. ~(Is it too early to ask) nice or nah?~ |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by gracile(f): 10:08pm On Aug 15, 2016 |
* * * * * "Let it slide. It's not your business." "How is it not? He's my course mate." "And mine too. He's also a total stranger!" Paula exclaimed. A little irritated. "I shouldn't have even told you. Should've just gone ahead with my plan." "What plan?" "None of your business." I retorted. "Oh really?!" She scoffed. "Look, Sally, (she began) I'm only concerned about you. And as your friend, I can't watch you walking into danger and do nothing." "Ugh! Could you stop making a mountain out of a mole hill. And if he was actually dangerous, then that makes it the more interesting. Dangerous is romantic you know." She smirked. "Hehn! I'm warning you, I'm... "We continue talking like this and we'll be late for Mr Yusufs' class." She cuts her... "Ah! We better run." She zips her bag. |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by gracile(f): 10:17pm On Aug 15, 2016 |
munchi:Yea sure, my first guest. You're very much welcome  *hands him a bowl of sweetened popcorn* here munchi, munch all you want and remember to comment  |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by gracile(f): 10:21pm On Aug 15, 2016 |
munchi:Yea sure first guest, you much welcome *hands him a bowl or sweetened popcorn* here munchi, now munch all you want but don't to comment |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by munchi(m): 10:38pm On Aug 15, 2016 |
gracile:. Now your talking grace....I accept d honor of first guest  eating m popcorn and waiting legs crossed |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by gracile(f): 11:10pm On Aug 15, 2016 |
~Chapter 2~ Sally ate her lunch quietly. While Paula kept rambling on and on about this new guy to a disinterested Michael. " Your food is getting cold" he said; obviously tired of her whining. "That's not the issue Michael, you better talk to your friend" she said, pointing to Sally (who kept rolling her eyes); cos she has deliberately refused to listen to me. Somewhere at the corner of the cafe He yawned and closed the magazine he was holding. He had been sitting for hours and he could see from where he sat, far right from his object of interest, that it was impossible to meet one her alone; not with that talkative of a girl and that clingy boy next to her. Also, he was tired of waiting as the music playing on the background now made him drowsy. He needed to go home. But first, he must accomplish his mission. "Speak of the devil!" Paula remarked looking over her shoulders at the figure approaching, now some inches away. He pretended not to notice the two pairs of raised eyebrows, staring at him, but focused on the smiling eyes of the girl in the middle. "Hi ladies" he said with his best smile. Hi, one responded. "Chairman, well done" he extended his hand as the other guy shook him firmly but casually. "Well done" he replied. He pulled back the fourth chair and sat down. He was sitting next to Paula (on the left) and Michael (on the right) but was facing sally directly. Ignoring the malicious eyes glaring at him (to his left); "I'm Charles" he went on to say. "And you art?" "Me?" Asked Sally. "Yes, you all". " I'm Salome, but my friends call me... "Gosh!" Paula interrupted, then stood up noisily, murmured something before hissing loudly as she left the cafe. ..Sally, you can call me Sally " she continued, unperturbed. "And this is Michael." She continued, completely ignoring the stony look Michael threw at her. "So, if I'm not mistaken, we are course mates right?" Charles asked, making it sound more like a statement. "Yeah sure, we're course mates". " hm hm" Michael cleared his throat before standing up. "If you'll both excuse me, I need to use the rest room". " OK " Sally responded. She knew he won't be back but was rather glad. They continued discussing, with Sally laughing and smiling so sheepishly that one might conclude she was flirting with him. From the window he stood watching them, he saw Sally collect the strangers' phone, punched something like figures and handed it back to him smiling. He frozed. "No Michael, she didn't just do that. Did she?" He spoke to himself. |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by TiffanyJ(f): 8:03am On Aug 16, 2016 |
Good morning, couldn't help but to peep into. This thread. I love your choice of words and I am curios to know what would happen between Sally and thee new guy. It promises to be an interesting story. But sweetheart I got to tell you that your work is very clustered, making it a bit tedius to read and moree difficult to understand. First, I will advice you to chapter your story. Yes, it is a short story but chapter it. Secondly, you have to look for a way to seperate scenes. This isvery important. Lastly, edit your first and second update. You failed to seperate your narration from your dialogue. This is another very important aspect of writing. Well, ride on. 1 Like |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by gracile(f): 11:58am On Aug 16, 2016 |
TiffanyJ:Thanks ma'am... I knew I could count on u Going to modify ASAP! Will be back for more updates. 1 Like |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by Nobody: 1:20pm On Aug 16, 2016 |
Hope there's still popcorn?? |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by gracile(f): 3:06pm On Aug 16, 2016 |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by gracile(f): 4:08pm On Aug 16, 2016 |
~Chapter 3~ Paula was putting some clothes in the closet when she heard the door open. She immediately knew it was her friend, Sally who is also her roommate... She saw that her was having a call as she kept giggling over the phone. "Yeah, I've just gotten home.....(pauses) Yeah, she's around"... " OK.... I will.... Bye " she chuckles. "Charles says hi" (No response) "Paula, I'm talking... " He can keep his greetings to himself! " she retorted. Sally looked up.. "I don't like him." Paula said, more slowly now. "But you don't even know him!" She dropped her Gucci bag and sat on bed, she sighed and began. "Look, I know your cause of concern and your ability to discern good and bad people... .. Trust me, I'm aware of all that.. But you've got to stop acting like my Mom and let me make my own mistakes." "Besides Charles is no threat.. Paula raised an eyebrow. ..He's really a nice guy." She continued staring straight at Paula. "OK fine." Paula nodded. "But don't say I didn't warn you." "Yes mother! She mocked back. *covers face* I know it's short. Would like to start knowing what u guys think about the story 1 Like |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by Nobody: 8:20pm On Aug 16, 2016 |
Make I chop popcorn first before I talk... incase you vex. It's a cool story, my only problem is that it's hard to tell who's speaking in your dialogues... please help us understand better. Thanks |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by detutu1: 8:42pm On Aug 16, 2016 |
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| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by gracile(f): 2:18pm On Aug 26, 2016 |
~Chapter 4~ Class was full to the brim as usual, since exams were close. It was so quiet that all you could hear were book pages, slashing against each other. Sally's phone buzzed, so she went outside to pick the call. She came back a few seconds later, gathered her stuffs and made to leave.. "You are leaving already?" Paula asked "Yea, I have a date with Charles"! Paula simply pulled her out, quietly and began "Babe, you do realize exams are by the corner right.. "What's gone into your head? For crying out loud! "I mean...the Sally I know won't compromise her studies for anything or anyone. "Cut me some slack Paula! You are been unnecessarily melodramatic". "Am I? Here I am trying to be a friend, and all you can say is I'm been melodramatic? Paula grimaced "C'mon, it's only a harmless... "I'm not finished". Paula retorted "First of all, shouldn't your so called 'new guy' be studying as well? Have you even asked yourself that?" "Oh..after sweeping you off your feet, he prolly swept off your brain as well". "You know, I've actually been thinking you're just overreacting, but now, I know better...you're jealous of me!" Sally barked "What! Jealous of you?! "Fine, I'm sorry for being a friend... You'll never hear a word about this from me again". Her eyes began to water. She turned quickly and dashed back into the class. "What happened there?" Asked Michael(with a concerned look) "She says I'm jealous, Sally actually called ME jealous! Can you imagine? "Forget her...I just pity her" he said shaking his head.. "Forget her and let's read". |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by gracile(f): 2:27pm On Aug 26, 2016 |
So sorry for not updating for quite a while. I've been under the weather hence the delay. As a matter of fact, I was just discharged yesterday after four days on bed rest. The story is going to end in the next update which is the last chapter.. Promise to give u guys a real long read So sit back, relax, as I (your host) dish out.. (8 |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by gracile(f): 3:40pm On Aug 26, 2016 |
~Chapter 5~ On a bright Thursday afternoon, at about 1:00pm, Sally was standing under a tree and fiddling with her phone. They had just rounded up their Mat101 lecture, which turned out to be a revision class. She looked gorgeous in her blue jumpsuit, black court heels and black Louis Vuitton chain bag. She wore minimal make up, her human hair was packed up into a ponytail and she wore sunshades to complete her stylish look. Paula and Michael came up behind her and handed some papers to her. With the way their mouths moved, he knew they were talking but couldn't make out a word they were saying. Then they both left, leaving her behind. Just what he needed.. He smiled..everything was going as planned. He started walking towards her; casually but purposefully. Throughout his years on this job, he could swear he had never dealt with a more beautiful package. With her chocolate supple skin, a slender but voluptuous figure and elfin face... He knew he must have a taste of this package himself, even though it meant breaking the rules. Sally smiled at the approaching man. She could feel his eyes all over her and thought he smiled back from the way he twitched the corners of his lips. Damn! Too much sexiness in one man..she thought.. Not knowing when she bit her lips seductively. He came and enclosed her in a bear-hug. She felt lost in his huge and massive body. She wished he won't let go until she caught a whiff of cigarette on him amidst faint traces of his cologne. Her heart raced. "You look beautiful" he said after releasing her. "Thank you" she replied a bit shyly. They both walked down to the black SUV he had been leaning on earlier then he opened the door for her. "Thanks" she muttered and stepped in. He closed the door, turned and got into the drivers seat. Sally felt tensed, she wondered why Charles was acting all gentlemanly "What about your friends?" He asked, breaking her thought. "Um...they went to the library to study uh...past questions" she stuttered. "Exams must be close I guess?" He dragged "We are starting exams on Monday, that's four days from now!" She bursted, surprised at his ignorance. "Oh...is that so?" She didn't respond but merely looked at him skeptically. Beginning to feel her discomfort, he quickly changed the topic. "So where would you like us to go to?" He asked starting the engine "Where do you have in mind?" She replied. She saw him take his hands to his pockets. Then quickly, she didn't see it coming, she felt a soft white cloth press onto her face. She tried to push his hands, to scream but couldn't. He was too strong and she felt weaker. Suddenly...slowly, she blanked out. ................................................................................. The jeep halted and she climbed down. Her mom and dad held her hands as they led her up the house. She could feel the familiar love and comfort and that was all she needed to wipe away the horrible nightmare of the last three days spent (tied) in an uncompleted building; with a man she once trusted.. While she was forgiven her foolishness, the new guy had been arrested and justice served. She felt terribly exhausted and drained from the numerous statements and question and answer sessions from the press. She didn't even want to think of the next day, her exams or the students whom she was sure have heard about her kidnap. She could already visualize the 'we-warned-you' look Paula and Michael will give her and smiled wryly. Given her phones had been collected, she knew they would be worried and anxious to hear from her. She didn't care much about that right now. What she needed was a hot bath and good sleep..and that was what she did. ~THE END ~ 1 Like |
| Re: The New Guy (short Story) by BernadinePorts: 8:00pm On Jan 21, 2021 |
gracile: |
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