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He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? - Romance - Nairaland

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He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by Tatian(f): 4:12pm On Sep 27, 2009
I have been dating him for close to three yrs. He's jst the same way since have met him, he's never romantic, never caring, always giving excuses but, always sincere when he does so. Have always thought of quitting but, can't just bring myself to do so. Am going crazy. pls nairalanders, i need candid and honest advice.
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by posakosa(m): 4:14pm On Sep 27, 2009
He's busy WITH another woman.


btw, how old are you ? Don't you have other things to use your time for ?  undecided undecided

than to spend it with someone who clearly doesn't want you.
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by Sine1: 4:15pm On Sep 27, 2009
which 1 is pasapasa abi pokasoko pls move to one side.

poster
what do u like him?
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by iice(f): 4:17pm On Sep 27, 2009
Tatian:

I have been dating him for close to three yrs. He's jst the same way since have met him, he's never romantic, never caring, always giving excuses but, always sincere when he does so. Have always thought of quitting but, can't just bring myself to do so. Am going crazy. pls nairalanders, i need candid and honest advice.

What do you mean you just can't bring yourself to quit the relationship? undecided
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by posakosa(m): 4:21pm On Sep 27, 2009
Sine1:

which 1 is pasapasa abi pokasoko pls move to one side.

poster
what do u like him?



Swine flu abi wetin u dey call yourself again, alailojuti

undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided

illiteracy is an absolute disease.
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by Sine1: 4:25pm On Sep 27, 2009
pakasoki

have we met?
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by posakosa(m): 4:26pm On Sep 27, 2009
^^^^^^Swine flu  >


I don't know who obosoki is ?  undecided undecided undecided undecided
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by Rosabelle(f): 4:40pm On Sep 27, 2009
Tatian:

I have been dating him for close to three yrs. He's jst the same way since have met him, he's never romantic, never caring, always giving excuses but, always sincere when he does so. Have always thought of quitting but, can't just bring myself to do so. Am going crazy. pls nairalanders, i need candid and honest advice.
Leave him before he leaves you. He's bidding his time until the girl he wants to marry returns from whereever she is, or until his parents find him a wife. He's just not that into you. RUN
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by posakosa(m): 4:44pm On Sep 27, 2009
@ Rosabelle, I thot u wanted to delete ur NL account: what happened na ?
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by MissyB1(m): 4:50pm On Sep 27, 2009
Rosabelle:

Leave him before he leaves you. He's bidding his time until the girl he wants to marry returns from whereever she is, or until his parents find him a wife. He's just not that into you. RUN
You must have a very good knowledge of the dude in Q. undecided

Tatian:

He's jst the same way since have met him,
Y are You complaining now?
He was this way when You met him . . . If You didn't like it, Y get into a r/s wiff him?
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by Rosabelle(f): 4:53pm On Sep 27, 2009
Missy B:

You must have a very good knowledge of the dude in Q. undecided
Nope I dont. This is just experience talking here. A man who loves a woman wont make her doubt his feelings for her. He'l makesure she always knows how he feels, even if he doesnt say anything.
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by MissyB1(m): 4:59pm On Sep 27, 2009
Rosabelle:

Nope I dont. This is just experience talking here. A man who loves a woman wont make her doubt his feelings for her. He'l makesure she always knows how he feels, even if he doesnt say anything.
That You were being played doesn't mean she is.
T's not like he changed over night or after having intimate relations wiff her . . . .
She said:

Tatian:

He's jst the same way since have met him,
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by TheSeeker(m): 5:10pm On Sep 27, 2009
You got into a relationship with him knowing he doesn't have your time, and that he was never romantic and whatnot; and girl for how many years, 3 years? And you're complaining? Something tells me you're the one who's met another man and are looking for a way to end the relationship. However, I think it's easy -- just break it to him and I'm sure he'll understand.

On another flip, have you tried talking to him about these problems? If you did, what were his response? Was any action taken? But this doesn't change my earlier view unless you prove me wrong.
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by Rosabelle(f): 5:19pm On Sep 27, 2009
Missy B:

That You were being played doesn't mean she is.
T's not like he changed over night or after having intimate relations wiff her . . . .
She said:
Yep , she said he's been that way since they met. She's probably been waiting for him to change and he hasnt. Cos he wont.
MissyB, a woman always knows. We just have a way of ignoring the writing on the wall.
If she's so insecure after 3 yrs, theres definitely something wrong. My being played wont change this. A woman always knows. Its just convinient to ignore the signs. And all these ARE signs
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by MissyB1(m): 5:34pm On Sep 27, 2009
Rosabelle:

Yep , she said he's been that way since they met. She's probably been waiting for him to change and he hasnt. Cos he wont.
Is this not absurdity on the Girl's part?
It's even more absurd and laughable that You're trying to assign blame to the dude.
If after 3 whole years she hasn't made peace with his nature, is it so hard to bounce?

Rosabelle:

MissyB, a woman always knows. We just have a way of ignoring the writing on the wall.
If any woman knows from the onset that something
is not functioning and still tries it out . . . .Whatever the outcome is . . .She should bear.

Rosabelle:

If she's so insecure after 3 yrs, theres definitely something wrong.
Yes, things did not just start being wrong . . . . .
They have been wrong from the start. Was she compelled to go into it?
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by Rosabelle(f): 5:36pm On Sep 27, 2009
@Missy B, Im quite sure Im not the poster undecided
I have told her to leave him before he leaves her.
What exactly is your argument?? Cos Im not sure anymore 
Cos one time you say he doesnt have to be cheating on her cos I was cheated on, and then in another breath you ask why its so hard for her to bounce if he's always been like this whats up
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by CrazyMan(m): 5:38pm On Sep 27, 2009
I still don't get your story; why did it have to take you three years before knowing that he doesn't have time for you?

Also, I believe that you should know by now if he's seeing someone else or his excuses are genuine.

finally, if this your story is true, then I would suggest that you have a heart to heart discussion with him; and be sure that you pour out your heart and tell him how you feel about his attitude. One doesn't just throw away a three year old relationship as tho it were some crap; there should always be a room for a change.
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by Nobody: 5:42pm On Sep 27, 2009
3 years? Dude got bored.

A guy that's  too "busy" to care for his woman, too "busy" to talk to her or communicate, too "busy" to ever be caring does  not want your ass nomore.

Quit and stop emotionally depending on him. grrrrr, women love wasting time
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by Rosabelle(f): 5:44pm On Sep 27, 2009
FL Gators:

3 years? Dude got bored.
A guy that's too "busy" to care for his woman, too "busy" to talk to her or communicate, too "busy" to ever be caring does not want your ass nomore.
Quit and stop emotionally depending on him. grrrrr, women love wasting time
My sentiments exactly. No too much talk. The guy is done!
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by Nobody: 5:45pm On Sep 27, 2009
He most probably is just not that into you and you are probably a side chick cry. Just cut loose now and save yourself from more heartbreak.
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by MissyB1(m): 5:54pm On Sep 27, 2009
Rosabelle:

What exactly is your argument?? Cos Im not sure anymore  
I'm not arguing wiff You . . .I'm just touching Your points where necessary. cool

Rosabelle:

Cos one time you say he doesnt have to be cheating on her cos I was cheated on, and then in another breath you ask why its so hard for her to bounce if he's always been like this whats up
Maybe You aren't doing the reading very well. tongue
Nuffin is contradicting here . . .
Your quick jump into conclusion is what got my attention.
I'm off Your post . . . Obviously you aren't the poster.
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by TheSeeker(m): 5:56pm On Sep 27, 2009
CrazyMan:

I still don't get your story; why did it have to take you three years before knowing that he doesn't have time for you?

Also, I believe that you should know by now if he's seeing someone else or his excuses are genuine.

finally, if this your story is true, then I would suggest that you have a heart to heart discussion with him; and be sure that you pour out your heart and tell him how you feel about his attitude. One doesn't just throw away a three year old relationship as tho it were some crap; there should always be a room for a change.
Please ask her again. Why did it take her 3 years before she starts complaining? I don't condone the guy's attitude (given that what she's saying is true) but something tells me she's found someone else who's giving her all the other guy is lacking, and she's seriously considering to switch off the relationship and hop on the new guy's wagon. But to do that effectively and without trace, she needs people to give her hints and points that she can use to boot the guy's a$$.
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by Rosabelle(f): 5:59pm On Sep 27, 2009
Missy B:

I'm not arguing wiff You . . .I'm just touching Your points where necessary. cool
lol, oh ok. Sorry I just wandered, cos it wasnt very clear.
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by iice(f): 6:00pm On Sep 27, 2009
Don't know why people are complaining about the guy.  

She said he's the same as he always was.  .  .and it took her 3 years to get to this point.  Worse is she doesn't know how to get out the relationship or maybe she doesn't want toundecided
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by Rosabelle(f): 6:05pm On Sep 27, 2009
It happens. You think maybe the deeper we go, the better thigns will get, and they just dont. And then because youre so used to waiting, you wait anyway. And you tell yourself to be patient . And then you wait somemore. And then youre done waiting, but you ask yourself: what if he's ready now and I leave?
Its not easy. You have to take the full dose and then you know you'l never go down that road again. This is her's I guess lol
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by Nobody: 6:06pm On Sep 27, 2009
"she doesn't want to" because she's depending on him.
Some women fear being alone.

and thatz why some abused women "don't want to" leave their abuser.
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by iice(f): 6:11pm On Sep 27, 2009
Rosabelle:

It happens. You think maybe the deeper we go, the better thigns will get, and they just dont. And then because youre so used to waiting, you wait anyway. And you tell yourself to be patient . And then you wait somemore. And then youre done waiting, but you ask yourself: what if he's ready now and I leave?
Its not easy. You have to take the full dose and then you know you'l never go down that road again. This is her's I guess lol

True, that could be her. . .
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by yme1(f): 7:15pm On Sep 27, 2009
@poster
lets face the truth
the guy in question is done with you but you just cant let go
you really dont need a prophet to tell you that
and did i hear you say three fu---cking years,what on earth have you been doing undecided
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by Tatian(f): 8:07pm On Sep 27, 2009
Thank you all nairalanders. A bigger thank you to you ROSABELLE. It seems as if, you you live my world. More of ur advise will do a whole lot of good to others out there because, i kn some people ve similar cases. WELL DONE. @ FL. i don't depend on him. Infact he has never solved any of my financial problems. Meanwhile, the idea of quitting is really bothering because,each time i try, something keeps telling me dat am going to miss out. There are times when i refuse to call or see him and when if eventually calls, he complains i don't call. i just don't understand anymore,
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by TheSeeker(m): 8:10pm On Sep 27, 2009
Tatian:

Thank you all nairalanders. A bigger thank you to you ROSABELLE. It seems as if, you you live my world. More of your advise will do a whole lot of good to others out there because, i kn some people ve similar cases. WELL DONE. @ FL. i don't depend on him. Infact he has never solved any of my financial problems. Meanwhile, the idea of quitting is really bothering because,each time i try, something keeps telling me dat am going to miss out. There are times when i refuse to call or see him and when if eventually calls, he complains i don't call. i just don't understand anymore,
Must all dependability be financial? Must all solutions to problems border on money?
Re: He's Too Busy To Ve My Time. What Can I Do? by Rosabelle(f): 8:26pm On Sep 27, 2009
@Poster. Do what your heart tells you, even if at the end you get hurt. There are some experiences we must live through, otherwise, we will keep making the same mistakes over and over again.
Thats life. We experience it. The good and the bad.
Sometimes, a 'relationship' isnt over till its over. So you might leave him and then go back cos youre scared youre missing out. It means in your heart, youre not done, and until youre done, you'l keep going back.
Gather your courage and leave if you have the strength, but if you dont have the strength, then see the thing to its end. As bad as it might be.
I might be wrong, but he would most likely end up hurting you badly (its written on the wall).
And believe me, it isnt until that happens that you'l realise just how strong you are, and how much better off you are without him confusing you and taking you for granted.
After you have cried, get up, dust yourself and carry on. He wont be the last man you meet.
Just makesure youre more attentive to such signs next time.

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