My bf cheated on me a year ago, he finally admitted to me, but we worked thru it, i do have feelings in which i believe he has done this more than once. our relationship now, is good, or so i thought. His mood changes continuously, he is not one for going to the bars. but when he does go to the bars im not alowed to ask him what he did or which bars he went to, not a big deal but he freaks out , i tell him about my nights out, for some reason he goes thru stages where he wants to all of a sudden go out to bars, and then he wont, is this because he is having urges to go cheat on me? again,
just want to add. he always tells me im the love of his life, but we recently had an argument, (mostly him) him saying i hold him back from going to the bars, but I could give two shits whether he goes or not because i trust him? now my feelings have changed because he started this weird argument out of nowhere saying i dont let him go? just made me laugh , but also wonder? so ya question is, is he having the "urge" to go cheat? guys please tell!!!

If you still love him as you claim you do, then sit him down and talk to him; avoid passing your message through an argument because if you do that, he would never take you seriously; you must talk to him as a girl that cares and let him know that his recent change in attitude is hurting you badly. And I'm sure that he would reason with you and change for the best.

Good luck.

I have also gone through this with my bf, we worked tru things as well. I never stopped him from going out, but would find he would cause an arguement so he could go out. Which has led me to believe he is cheating again. My feelings for him run deep, he also has told me im de only one for him. I have explained my feelings to him but still nothing changes which led me to pack his bags. I hope ur bf will listen to you, & how you feel about things. Wish you luck.

@poster,
U didn't say whether u like goin' ou to to bars.But if u do n he doesn't like u goin' wif him,then he's got somfin up his sleeves.Else,just sit him down n tell him wot's on ur mind n ask him wot he has to say.

Once a guy cheats on you, u can never trust him again, every little steps he takes will be suspicious

TOPE2000!:

Once a guy cheats on you, u can never trust him again, every little steps he takes will be suspicious

Hey TOPE,don't say it like guys r bound to Bleep up! Somtimes,it really is an honest mistake.

ebila:

Hey TOPE,don't say it like guys r bound to mess up! Somtimes,it really is an honest mistake.

Since when did cheating become an honest mistake, am i missing something here?

chrissy423:

My bf cheated on me a year ago, he finally admitted to me, but we worked thru it, i do have feelings in which i believe he has done this more than once. our relationship now, is good, or so i thought. His mood changes continuously, he is not one for going to the bars. but when he does go to the bars im not alowed to ask him what he did or which bars he went to, not a big deal but he freaks out , i tell him about my nights out, for some reason he goes thru stages where he wants to all of a sudden go out to bars, and then he wont, is this because he is having urges to go cheat on me? again,
just want to add. he always tells me im the love of his life, but we recently had an argument, (mostly him) him saying i hold him back from going to the bars, but I could give two shits whether he goes or not because i trust him? now my feelings have changed because he started this weird argument out of nowhere saying i dont let him go? just made me laugh , but also wonder? so ya question is, is he having the "urge" to go cheat? guys please tell!!!

okay here is my take on this:
you're not allowed to ask him where he is going? why is he being so suspicious.
its like he doesnt want to mention the bar he is going to because he is afraid you might show up and he gets caught doing whatever he is doing?
asking him where he is going or what bar he is going to shouldnt be too much to ask for.
just knowing thats all. but if he gets annoyed over things like that, then it seems he has something to hide.
another thing. why should he freak out when you are going out? what is he so scared of?
most guys freak out because they think you might do the SAME EXACT thing they are doing to you.
cheating/flirting with other women.
why should he feel paranoid when you are going out? unless he is feeling guilty about it.
maybe he is blaming you because he IS having the urges that he cant control, but he feels faithful and obligated to keep the relationship strong without any distractions.
maybe he is indirectly blaming you for not letting him go out. he probably really does love you and really wants to be there for you, but he knows if he has those urges or temptations to cheat, he doesnt want it to spoil the relationship.

@Tope.
You're making it sound as if its only guys that cheats today and tomorro, they come begging; you must know that you ladies are also big time offenders of the same offence; everyone is guilty but it would take true on the part of the offended to forgive the offender.

CrazyMan:

@Tope.
You're making it sound as if its only guys that cheats today and tomorro, they come begging; you must know that you ladies are also big time offenders of the same offence; everyone is guilty but it would take true on the part of the offended to forgive the offender.

and i suppose two wrongs make a right?

No it doesn't.

What I'm trying to point out here is that we're all guilty.

To think i have buddies who would intentionally start arguement with there GF so they can use it as an excuse to go out clubbing,such a old trick,All of these wahala is jst to get laid with another gyal.

chrissy423:

My bf cheated on me a year ago, he finally admitted to me, but we worked thru it, i do have feelings in which i believe he has done this more than once. our relationship now, is good, or so i thought. His mood changes continuously, he is not one for going to the bars. but when he does go to the bars im not alowed to ask him what he did or which bars he went to, not a big deal but he freaks out , i tell him about my nights out, for some reason he goes thru stages where he wants to all of a sudden go out to bars, and then he wont, is this because he is having urges to go cheat on me? again,
just want to add. he always tells me im the love of his life, but we recently had an argument, (mostly him) him saying i hold him back from going to the bars, but I could give two shits whether he goes or not because i trust him? now my feelings have changed because he started this weird argument out of nowhere saying i dont let him go? just made me laugh , but also wonder? so ya question is, is he having the "urge" to go cheat? guys please tell!!!

Once a cheat ALWAYS a cheat!

TOPE2000!:

Since when did cheating become an honest mistake, am i missing something here?

Yeah,u're missin' somfin.D deal is,somtimes we as guys just don't go out there lookin' to cheat,but it just so happens!Honest mistake! I could give u senerios!

ThoniaSlim:

Once a cheat ALWAYS a cheat!

Thonia! Thonia!! Thonia!!! U're not sure he's dat kind of cheat yet!

@poster,
If u fink he's done dis more than once,then maybe it's time to take a walk!

@poster,your number problem is that,you allow your emotions to do the thinking for you.you feels he has cheated more than once, now look at it this way, why not feel or think he only cheated once.your negative feeling is at work anytime he goes to the bar, he only went with frnds to have 1 or 2 bottles of bear and nothing more to it. I think you should allow your brain to do more of the thinking for you and not your emotion.guys will be guys.you can't change that.he loves you, so relax.

Hunny kick his most likely STI crusted behind to the curb. Also get yourself tested as well. God knows the kind of gals he has been doing the do with

ebila:

Yeah,u're missin' somfin.D deal is,somtimes we as guys just don't go out there lookin' to cheat,but it just so happens!Honest mistake! I could give u senerios!
Thonia! Thonia!! Thonia!!! U're not sure he's dat kind of cheat yet!

Abegi. . .there are no diff types of cheats. . .cheating is cheating!

ThoniaSlim:

Abegi. . .there are no diff types of cheats. . .cheating is cheating!

There r some cheatin' dat dservs forgiveness now!

ebila:

There r some cheatin' dat dservs forgiveness now!

There is no cheating that deserves forgiveness! I don't pardon and also don't expect to be pardoned if ever caught cheating!

follypimpi:

To think i have buddies who would intentionally start arguement with there GF so they can use it as an excuse to go out clubbing,such a old trick,All of these wahala is jst to get laid with another gyal.

Old trick in the book!

Oh my goodness, what I am hearing here is disgusting me,
crazyman, we are not talking generally we are talking about a specific couple so don`t put it like that because that means you have nothing with sense to talk about it,
Dear girl,if he doen`t want you to know where he goes he might have something to hide,
And if he cheated on you that means surely he doesn`t love you truly, if you love somebody in the deep of your heart, any woman or man can pass in front of you and unbutton your pants you will catch him/her away.
true love knows no lies,no cheats,no mistakes,
But i agree with you when you said you forgave him for what he did, unfortunately there are so many bad girls around us that don`t care if the man they like is married or ingaged or have kids, if that is the man they want they would do anything to get it, and unfortunately milions of nigerians women are single and desparate to get a man, even sometimes obsessed by their own families.
But this does`t justify your man or any man tht cheats or any womn that cheats,
Cheating is deceving and once you do it is difficult to have the trust back,
Dear friend i suggest you to sit down and ask him honestly what he wants to do with you, tell him you ant in the future to marry him and have kids, if he doesn`t want that as well as you, well you should let him go and pray the lord to give you a good christian that believes in the true values of this life,
may the Lord bless you

[s]Oh my goodness, what I am hearing here is disgusting me,
crazyman, we are not talking generally we are talking about a specific couple so don`t put it like that because that means you have nothing with sense to talk about it,
Dear girl,if he doen`t want you to know where he goes he might have something to hide,
And if he cheated on you that means surely he doesn`t love you truly, if you love somebody in the deep of your heart, any woman or man can pass in front of you and unbutton your pants you will catch him/her away.
true love knows no lies,no cheats,no mistakes,
But i agree with you when you said you forgave him for what he did, unfortunately there are so many bad girls around us that don`t care if the man they like is married or ingaged or have  kids, if that is the man they want they would do anything to get it, and unfortunately milions of nigerians women are single and desparate to get a man, even sometimes obsessed by their own families.
But this does`t justify your man or any man tht cheats or any womn that cheats,
Cheating is deceving and once you do it is difficult to have the trust back,
Dear friend i suggest you to sit down and ask him honestly what he wants to do with you, tell him you ant in the future to marry him and have kids, if he doesn`t want that as well as you, well you should let him go and pray the lord to give you a good christian that believes in the true values of this life,
may the Lord bless you[/s]


Well this is not a good way to advice the poster.
I suggest you tell wat you feel "in your own shoes" and not wat she must/should do.
I'm sorry to say with no support of the two party, that HE/SHE should cheat nor not telling HER where HE went, and in reverse.
In my own shoes, i must tell her where am going and if she wants to come along, no problem as long as am not,  and if am, then we work things in or out. But i know we'll work things for sure. (something good if she loves me)

@poster
If i was YOU, i will;
Believe in myself and be occupied with anything or something.
Focus my mind with positivity.
Play the roll of most wanted. (VIP/MVP)
If questions are problems, i will do them less, especially on sometin not important. (I won't ask much of HIS privacy)
Feel free and be happy. (meet friends if necessary).
Spread my wings and fly.

I know one thing for sure.
He is just my bf and not my husband. 

Just be good gel.
true love knows no lies,no cheats,no mistakes is an understatement. Wen u pass thru the test. u will surely love him strong.
Cheating is deceiving and once you do it is difficult to have the trust back is for those who don't understand it.. The spirit of cheating is stronger than U, it takes God's protection to keep u hold. Having your trust back depends on if u want or not, nobody can force u.

I strongly believe that Jesus Christ of Nazareth (God the Son) also prayed for forgiveness for Himself, even wen He does nothing wrong.
Pray for HIM + urself and pray with HIM
Gudluck

how funny some girls sound.
remember the sayin 'once a cheat always a cheat' ??
why waste ur time with a cheating guy??
one word for you girlfriend , HE SHUD HIT THE FREE WAY!!

don't mind all these people oh!! cheating is in the mind, if he admitted to it, then theres no reason to worry urself babe!! If you love him, stay by him, cos when he hits the freeway, ur also onthe freeway, u never can tell if ur next man would be any better,

@OP,
Ask him why he did so? If it was due to your incapability then forgive and make amends.
In a situation whereby he is found guilty then he should not be considered provided you have been faithful to him.