Kaira333:
My sister this thing tire me ooo. My mil came since March and said she won't go back to her hubby again dat people in naija are suffering. She will just be telling u do this do that as if u are a child. But I know how to deal with that. I don't send her, I do everything I want to do in my house, if she don't like it let her go home and stay with her hubby

next time buy a return ticket as you're buying the flight ticket. That way her stay is already mapped and she knows when she will be leaving.
That's how my own was stylishly talking about someone telling her it's easy for us to get her permanent residency since we are citizens. I just jejely told her that I'm not comfortable with parents living permanently in their children's house. They can always visit. Even stay months at a time if they wish. I'm a very accommodating person. But to carry your whole life and come encroach my space is a no no. I would have wedded her instead of her son if I wanted to live with her forever. Even my mom. I won't want her living permanently with me. There's a reason why we got married and left their houses for them. They should learn to stay there. It's more fun when the visits are mapped and one knows how long they will be dealing with a third wheel in the marriage. Not when see-finish has entered the equation. The fun disappears.

I don't know what's pursuing them from their marital homes.

If my MIL is young (50yrs), hot and sexy ; I would gladly allow her to stay in my house. I could be banging her when my wife is late from work or when she travels.
Thats what u call eating ur cake + icing and still having the cake. Nothing as good as having variety in ur sex life

No

Seahawk:
next time buy a return ticket as you're buying the flight ticket. That way her stay is already mapped and she knows when she will be leaving.
That's how my own was stylishly talking about someone telling her it's easy for us to get her permanent residency since we are citizens. I just jejely told her that I'm not comfortable with parents living permanently in their children's house. They can always visit. Even stay months at a time if they wish. I'm a very accommodating person. But to carry your whole life and come encroach my space is a no no. I would have wedded her instead of her son if I wanted to live with her forever. Even my mom. I won't want her living permanently with me. There's a reason why we got married and left their houses for them. They should learn to stay there. It's more fun when the visits are mapped and one knows how long they will be dealing with a third wheel in the marriage. Not when see-finish has entered the equation. The fun disappears.

I don't know what's pursuing them from their marital homes.

My dear I don't know what is pursuing them oo.Na eye I just d look her let December reach first.

Bro,pls I beg you in God's name,pls kindly let that matter die,and let her be. I'm seriously pleading... Thanks.

Sweetpenis:




Hmmm,they are back preaching what they obviously don't practise

chronique:
Bro,pls I beg you in God's name,pls kindly let that matter die,and let her be. I'm seriously pleading... Thanks.

Ok bro,I jst hate what she did to u girls like her shld never get away with such kinda crap cos she'll do it again to som1else I knw her more than she can even think of .......I don rest na man u b such a gentleman #nohomo

Thanks. Pls don't get anyone involved and let t just die naturally here. I'd appreciate it a lot. Bless up.

Sweetpenis:




Ok bro,I jst hate what she did to u girls like her shld never get away with such kinda crap cos she'll do it again to som1else I knw her more than she can even think of ......she's in uniben she knws d consequences of dis kinda action....I'l rest cos of u bro I respect u if nt ,she go hate d benin wey she dey weda na bdpa or osasogie or ekosodin she wan run go I 4 knw.....I don rest na man u b such a gentleman #nohomo

toprealman:
*Some mothers not all

Yes, some mothers.
Though some stubborn mothers actually know their boundaries but choose to cause katakata .

Nyceguy92:

Yes, some mothers.
Though some stubborn mothers actually know their boundaries but choose to cause katakata .

some not all

Thank you all for your comments - I learnt a lot

Mzflexydeeva:


If ur mum can stay with you, ur mother inlaw should be able to. Treat ur mother in law just the way you will treat your mum

My dear, ur biological mother is different from mother in law. U can correct ur mother when she goes wrong but the other way round, they will see it at disrespect, u can easily tell ur mother to do things for u at home but reverse is the case for mother in law.

Like when I gave birth, my MIL came to spend two month, I end up doing my chores myself, she will even wake u up in d morning to come and cook, if they bring gift for d baby, she will ask what is inside, complaining that my rice is always half done, that semi make her to wee at nite that she prefer eating it in d morning, that I don't breastfeed in d parlour etc. if u don't pass, she won't need water. Finish breakfast and shift the plate to one side then lie down on d sofa expecting u to come and pack the plates, Me that just gave birth o, couldn't get enough rest. But when she goes to her daughters house for omugwo, she does all the works there.
Even his son was tired of everything, her daughter will come for visit and they will be sending me to d market, who am I to say no. But such cannot happen again sha.
All these village MIL are always the culprit, they see u as wife not their child.
But if is ur mama, na to sleep come meet food.

comtem2011:
My dear, ur biological mother is different from mother in law. U can correct ur mother when she goes wrong but the other way round, they will see it at disrespect, u can easily tell ur mother to do things for u at home but reverse is the case for mother in law.

Like when I gave birth, my MIL came to spend two month, I end up doing my chores myself, she will even wake u up in d morning to come and cook, if they bring gift for d baby, she will ask what is inside, complaining that my rice is always half done, that semi make her to wee at nite that she prefer eating it in d morning, that I don't breastfeed in d parlour etc. if u don't pass, she won't need water. Finish breakfast and shift the plate to one side then lie down on d sofa expecting u to come and pack the plates, Me that just gave birth o, couldn't get enough rest. But when she goes to her daughters house for omugwo, she does all the works there.
Even his son was tired of everything, her daughter will come for visit and they will be sending me to d market, who am I to say no. But such cannot happen again sha.
All these village MIL are always the culprit, they see u as wife not their child.
But if is ur mama, na to sleep come meet food.

hmmmmmmmm! The lord will compensate you. Keep treating her nicely

@Contem#Simply put.... U ve got a good mother-in-law with a pure heart!!!

Sermwell:

Hmmm...olivia long time o! I saw u at faculty of arts last semester posing for a pix! I actually wanted to say hi but I was shy. hope I can say hi when next I see u?

Lol. I'm pretty sure I'd have been the shy one. Do feel free next time.

ehimeayeni:


My dear, i beging to wonder why some girls hate their mother in laws and forbid them to visit their matimonial home after marriage not knowing that they too would be mother in law one day.... Only those who wear the shoes knows where it pinches most

Don't blame them pls, just like you said that only those who wear the shoes knows where it pinches most. Before I got married I do curse ladies that say they don't want their MIL to be alive.
Even though i still don't agree with them, now I understands why. My MIL has really really contributed a lot negatively to my marriage. I tried as much as I could to please and tolerate her but she is just something else. She has two sons, and she do visit us twice in a year. Each visit she will spend nothing less than 3months. She can't spend a night at her other son house.
During dis visits, there is nothing I cook, she will always compare it with my husband ex girlfriend. If I prepare bread and egg she will say she wants pap and moi moi. I will have to do that for her just to satisfy her, upon that once my husband is not around she will go to our room and start checking his boxers, anyone that is torn she will tell me that assuming it is so So and so person she would have taken it to a tailor.
I stylishly told my husband some of her excesses even though he has his own faults too but he told me if I can't bear with her I should go and slap her.
When her excesses got to the height that I can take, I told my people that I am not interested in the marriage again. Mind you, my husband still meet his ex and rented an apartment for her. Family meeting was arranged and I told everyone what and what my MIL do say. Whenever she is around, there is always quarrel btw me and my husband till she will go. During the quarrel she will be happy and will do the cooking for my husband. So what is the point for me to stay.
Everyone was surprised. To cut the long story short, she has been told to reduce her visit and each visit most not be more than a month.
Everyone is begging me now to forgive her but I can never forget all what she did. I tried my possible best to show her love, I never for once replied her whenever she starts abusing and comparing me. Her behaviour made me to start praying for my daughter that God will not allow her to have a MIL like her. And if I will be a MIL like that to my son, God should just take me away for him to enjoy his marriage.
It can be frustrating to have a bad MIL, I had to visit psychiatry hospital because of the emotional trauma. My self esteem was lost totally.

Shiningmama:


Don't blame them pls, just like you said that only those who wear the shoes knows where it pinches most. Before I got married I do curse ladies that say they don't want their MIL to be alive.
Even though i still don't agree with them, now I understands why. My MIL has really really contributed a lot negatively to my marriage. I tried as much as I could to please and tolerate her but she is just something else. She has two sons, and she do visit us twice in a year. Each visit she will spend nothing less than 3months. She can't spend a night at her other son house.
During dis visits, there is nothing I cook, she will always compare it with my husband ex girlfriend. If I prepare bread and egg she will say she wants pap and moi moi. I will have to do that for her just to satisfy her, upon that once my husband is not around she will go to our room and start checking his boxers, anyone that is torn she will tell me that assuming it is so So and so person she would have taken it to a tailor.
I stylishly told my husband some of her excesses even though he has his own faults too but he told me if I can't bear with her I should go and slap her.
When her excesses got to the height that I can take, I told my people that I am not interested in the marriage again. Mind you, my husband still meet his ex and rented an apartment for her. Family meeting was arranged and I told everyone what and what my MIL do say. Whenever she is around, there is always quarrel btw me and my husband till she will go. During the quarrel she will be happy and will do the cooking for my husband. So what is the point for me to stay.
Everyone was surprised. To cut the long story short, she has been told to reduce her visit and each visit most not be more than a month.
Everyone is begging me now to forgive her but I can never forget all what she did. I tried my possible best to show her love, I never for once replied her whenever she starts abusing and comparing me. Her behaviour made me to start praying for my daughter that God will not allow her to have a MIL like her. And if I will be a MIL like that to my son, God should just take me away for him to enjoy his marriage.
It can be frustrating to have a bad MIL, I had to visit psychiatry hospital because of the emotional trauma. My self esteem was lost totally.

hmmm this is serious

my mother inlaw is so humble,she been living with us for eight years now.she is super cool .cooks. clean takes good care of her grandchildren etc we got along so well ,and very understanding too.hubby dey envy us sometimes so there are some bad and good mother inlaws.lucky me

Shiningmama:


Don't blame them pls, just like you said that only those who wear the shoes knows where it pinches most. Before I got married I do curse ladies that say they don't want their MIL to be alive.
Even though i still don't agree with them, now I understands why. My MIL has really really contributed a lot negatively to my marriage. I tried as much as I could to please and tolerate her but she is just something else. She has two sons, and she do visit us twice in a year. Each visit she will spend nothing less than 3months. She can't spend a night at her other son house.
During dis visits, there is nothing I cook, she will always compare it with my husband ex girlfriend. If I prepare bread and egg she will say she wants pap and moi moi. I will have to do that for her just to satisfy her, upon that once my husband is not around she will go to our room and start checking his boxers, anyone that is torn she will tell me that assuming it is so So and so person she would have taken it to a tailor.
I stylishly told my husband some of her excesses even though he has his own faults too but he told me if I can't bear with her I should go and slap her.
When her excesses got to the height that I can take, I told my people that I am not interested in the marriage again. Mind you, my husband still meet his ex and rented an apartment for her. Family meeting was arranged and I told everyone what and what my MIL do say. Whenever she is around, there is always quarrel btw me and my husband till she will go. During the quarrel she will be happy and will do the cooking for my husband. So what is the point for me to stay.
Everyone was surprised. To cut the long story short, she has been told to reduce her visit and each visit most not be more than a month.
Everyone is begging me now to forgive her but I can never forget all what she did. I tried my possible best to show her love, I never for once replied her whenever she starts abusing and comparing me. Her behaviour made me to start praying for my daughter that God will not allow her to have a MIL like her. And if I will be a MIL like that to my son, God should just take me away for him to enjoy his marriage.
It can be frustrating to have a bad MIL, I had to visit psychiatry hospital because of the emotional trauma. My self esteem was lost totally.

am sorry but I couldn't help but quote you because I remember you vividly from babyosisi thread about marriage . and I also remember EfemenaXY taking her time to give you one of the most amazing advice I have ever come across on this Forum.

Madam, why are you still in that marriage? cos am touched. never been this touched by a story before.

https://www.nairaland.com/2147859/babyosisis-marital-advice-new-intended/3

EfemenaXY

Joavid:


am sorry but I couldn't help but quote you because I remember you vividly from babyosisi thread about marriage . and I also remember EfemenaXY taking her time to give you one of the most amazing advice I have ever come across on this Forum.

Madam, why are you still in that marriage? cos am touched. never been this touched by a story before.

Madam joavid
You still remember me? Thanks so much for asking me that question. I can never forget EfemenaXY. I give God the glory for my life and I most also thank her for her counsel. If not maybe I for don get file for yaba. God sent her to my life to change a lot of things.
Even though i am still in the marriage, I am living in my own world. A lot of things have changed. I just shared my experience with my MIL. Now I don't pick her calls and nobody can crucify me for that. I have tried my best. If the gods cannot help my case, he should not make me worse

please doesn't she have a house ...or wasn't she married ..abeg she should go to her husband house ..I love my privacy.

princeonx:


There was a day i even yelled at them that this house has 3 more years to be paid off ohh and still belong to the bank ohhh cux if you guys continue this madness, I go stop paying so that the bank can take back the house lol make everybody rest

Hehehehehehehe!!!

The frustration you'll be facing which will make you erupt like that no be here oooo!
So hilarious and comical..but then, the lives we men go through.
Womenfolk are something else..wives, mothers, sisters, daughters.

Nely77:
Some mothers in-law could be annoying. They are so domineering that they would want to detect for their sons in-law what should be in his own house. Showing no single respect for the person marrying your daughter. I cannot tolerate such. Meanwhile, there are some good ones who know their boundaries and respect their sons in-law. The later is always welcome!

This is exactly what i am facing now

It depends on the personality of the mother-in-law. I guess with time everyone will learn how to live together peacefully.

However, if it's avoidable, I guess the couples shouldn't have a live-in MIL.