NOW THAT BUHARI IS DEAD
--------------------------------------
With gratitude to God, a heavy heart and total
submission to the will of the intolerant Nigerian
people, I wish to announce the untimely demise
of a dog belonging to a certain trader, Joachim
Iroko, by the name of Buhari. Buhari died at the
hands of unknown assailants. I was not aware of
this dog's full name. I think it is unfair that dogs
get only first names and although we claim to love
them we have no regard for their ancestors or
their need for blood lines. We snatch puppies
from their mothers and take them to new homes.
We separate puppies from their siblings in the
most cruel way. And in the end, we erase any
connection with their past by giving them only
first names.
I do not know if Buhari was survived by siblings or
if (I assume it is male) it fathered any children.
What is important to know is that, Buhari is dead
and it was not a natural death.
It takes great courage to stand up for the
innocent but powerless especially when people
around are united against such a powerless
individual. But I choose to stand with Buhari, the
voiceless, powerless victim of the spiral of hate
and intolerance. Now, one may say, (just like we
all agreed when our army massacred the Shiites)
that Buhari had it coming; that Buhari deserved to
be killed because of all of its actions. And I think
you have a point: Buhari was after all a dog. It
must have peed in public places, bitten someone,
mounted and gotten stuck in every female dog it
could find or even eaten food that did not belong
to it. This is what dogs do. The real question
however is, does this mean Buhari deserved to
die?
The murder happened when its owner Joachim
Iroko, was in jail facing charges relating to the
naming of Buhari. They said Iroko breached the
peace by giving his dog such a name. I do not
know why Mr Iroko named his pet Buhari. I do
not know if he was tired of the dog, didn’t know
how to dispose of it and so gave his dog a name
he was sure would lead to its death. Because you
know Nigerians, how fragile we are. You offend
us, or insult something we have declared holy and
it eats us up so bad that the only natural reaction
is to kill the person who insults us or what we
deem holy. I do not blame Nigerians. It hurts for
someone to insult you or your prophet (or your
president whom you worship like a prophet) and
really, it is ok to kill when you are hurt. One must
however be strategic and precise when killing
fellow living things. Why kill Buhari who played no
part in this perceived insult?
Following the news of this untimely killing, I saw
comments from people who said it was a
provocation for Mr Joachim Iroko to name his dog
after someone cherished by a certain group of
people. I want to agree, but knowing animals like
Buhari, I beg to differ. The only reason those
people were upset was that they themselves do
not value the life of dogs. They think dogs are
worthless, beneath them. So they get upset if you
name a dog after them. I think dogs have rights.
Buhari has rights. Humans can be arrogant: we
think we are the most superior of all the animals.
I want to state here that dog lives matter. If you
cannot make a dog, then don’t kill one. I realise
there are people, like some from my village who
eat dogs. I will address that matter another day.
Today I am concerned with the taking of innocent
life.
Buhari did not choose his own name. He probably
had no choice in whose owner he would become.
He was probably chained all his life and treated
like a slave, living outdoors or in a dirty cage. Let
me say it again: I think that if someone offends
you, you should kill them. Even worse if someone
offends your God (especially as sometimes God
needs us to do his dirty work for him - who else
will kill those who insult him?). But Buhari did no
such thing.
Buhari’s killers probably poisoned him and left
him to die in some gutter. This brings me to
another issue: waste. Some people eat dogs. Now,
to be clear, I am totally against the killing or
consumption of dogs, but if there is no way of
avoiding death, it is best to kill responsibly. At
least kill the dog in a way that it would still be
useful to those who find it edible. It is like being
an organ donor. It is bad for you to die, but if that
should happen then it is great if your organs are
useful to someone else. They should have
arranged with people from my village who eat
dogs so that at least if Buhari had no value in life,
in death he would please someone.
I never got to meet Buhari personally, but his
death saddens me. And it should sadden every
believer in equal rights. I hope that our animal
rights NGOs will step in and take up this matter.
Buhari did not deserve to die.
He will be missed. #JusticeForBuhari
#DogLivesMatter
Ps. I am unsure if Mr Joachim Iroko has planned
any funeral rites for Buhari. I will let you all know
as soon as I find out about Buhari's funeral
arrangements.

CREDITS: Elnathan John

elnathanjohn..com/2016/08/now-that-buhari-is-dead.html?spref=tw

Still expecting the Nigerian Police Force (Police is your friend) to Investigate the death of Buhari (The Dog).
I hope e no end up as 404 meat.

fake news...

What you need is a lifetime's ban

agwom:
fake news...

Did you read the write-up at all? Please do and also check your Dictionary for Satirical.

Jibril659:
What you need is a lifetime's ban

Hey Mr. Ban, go check the meaning of satire in your dictionary if you got one.

Edmanpumpin:


Hey Mr. Ban, go check the meaning of satire in your dictionary if you got one.

your bald head

Jibril659:
your bald head

Glory be to God for it.

Rip to the presido of animal kingdom