What it's like being a
recovering alcoholic at
university
Ashley thought she was
making good progress,
until she had to live in
halls with Freshers...
I'm a recovering alcoholic.
As you'll no-doubt know,
students tend to love their
alcohol. My brain told me I
was capable of being
surrounded by them when
I wanted to continue my
education last year, when,
at age 30, I'd finally
reached the point in my
sobriety to handle
continuing my pursuit of a
Bachelors degree.
Ambitions high and
dreams alive, I applied to
study abroad at the
University of Winchester
for the autumn of 2014,
which is where this
narrative of "Uni" life
begins.
Even without my sobriety
being taken into
consideration, moving
from my glorious
apartment in Oregon to a
teeny dorm room in Halls
in a foreign country, is
quite monumental - but
that's nothing compared
to living with freshers.
Although I had been to a
few Alcoholics Anonymous
meetings when I moved
in, within days my brain
was taken hostage by
thoughts of drinking. The
week before courses really
started seemed to be a
free-for-all party, and I got
that feeling that I didn't
belong or fit in.
So I drank.
Something in my brain lied
to me once again, and
believed that I could get
"pissed" (as the Brits say)
for just one night. While
there were a few nights
that I drank 'socially', for
the most part I drank
alone, in misery. For the
umpteenth time I proved
to myself that yes, I'm an
alcoholic, and no, I can't
stop once I've started.
Lying in my little bed,
shaking, sweating, and
sick, I had a moment of
clarity - and I knew I was
done. I didn't want to
throw away my amazing
opportunity to be studying
in England, or throw away
myself. Years of self abuse
and struggles with
addiction had left me
beaten and exhausted,
and........
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