Flexherbal:
Is there nobody in the family that can handle this issue well?

Pidggin:
Tell her he loves her and he would have been there if he could but he can't because he is busy. Never talk bad about her dad to her but gradually let her know you and him have to live apart for some time.

You might need to have a routine where he can see them at regular times a week.

HMZi:
Be straight with ur daughter but do it gently....children are lot stronger than we usually think...shower her adequately with love..she'll need male influences in her life,so get ur bro's to b around......small small e go beta

basingstoke:
Being a victim of abuse is a mistake, but staying and remaining abused is a choice. You should be happy that you can at least tell her something by yourself. Please do not let it get to a stage where it will be complete stranger trying to explain to her.
Do not get me wrong, I am a man. not a woman. Men are equally abused by their wives as well, for the men, the issues are more complex, people expect you to 'man-up', but at times...

Dyt:
The bond must have been so wonderful but thank God she's still a kid

Tell her daddy is busy
Take her out
Thank goodness its weekend

Now they need you to spend time with them

How's your work schedule like?
What can you do to make them remember him less, ofcus they will always ask of daddy
Be creative in attending to their needs

I wish you all the best in this journey
In all I applaud your courage
Its better to leave when you can

TrapQueen77:
Juz tell ur daughter tat her father is busy and working in another place that he can't come home to celebrate with her...


But never promise anything to ur children tat u know it will be very difficult to happen...

Jay542:

He can't also speak to her on the phone?

Jay542:

He can't also speak to her on the phone?

TrapQueen77:





Tat maga father refused to talk ooo... Read the thread again..

kokoprincess:
I sent him a message the last time that his daughter wans to speak to him. He totally ignored me

Jay542:
All these advice 'daddy is busy', Years go pass she'll still keep asking and daddy will still keep being busy.
Just talk to her dad that you'll tell her the truth if he doesn't speak to her on the phone to wish her a blissful birthday and if he doesn't just be straight the kid. Children are smarter than the way we expect.

kokoprincess:
Am newly separated from my husband. Ran with 2 kids for my life, sanity and my soul.. my husband was very abusive but he was a wonderful father. My 4 year old daughters birthday is today and her birthday wish is "mum can I see my Daddy, I miss him so much and I don't want to forget him" I tried to reach her father severally to talk his daughter he is not interested. He wants me to come back immediately and has refused to acknowledge his abusive ways and the need to treat me right.

Jay542:

It's not really bou the maga father. It's bou the pikin. If she keeps lieing, I wonder how long she'll have to keep lieing about the busy father.

kokoprincess:

Leaving was the hardest decision I ever took...I hav no regrets..I only pray things get better. Sometimes I get frustrated

TrapQueen77:





Ofcurz she can't lie to her children for the rest of their lives.. She waits til they can understand the situation...

cococandy:
If he was really a good a father like you say, he won't hurt his kids to manipulate you into coming back to him knowing that he's most likely going to continue the abuse. What kind of good father doesn't care that his kid misses him and ignores when you try to reach out so that he can even just say hello?

Spending money on children is not all there is to being a good parent. Respecting the other parent in their life (not abusing them) and being there emotionally for the kid/s is even more important than dumping money on them.

thorpido:
God will give you the strength,be strong.With time it gets easier.

Are you staying alone with the kids now or you are with a friend or family member?

tearoses:


As you have said he is a wonderful father, there is some hope
There is usually a tight bond between father and daughter
Things are most probably very hot now and he is trying to manipulate you into going back to him
With time, he will realise that you are not coming back until you are 100% sure that he has changed.
And even if he does change, make sure its permanent and nit just because he wants you back.

If he as good a father as you say, then very soon he will start missing his children and will find ways of seeing them
All I beg you is that when he does come back to his senses and he wants to start seeing his kids please let him and neither of you must use the kids as pawns.

I pray for strength for you and I pray for wisdom for you on how to deal with the children.
It is well my sista
Happy Birthday to the little one
God bless her.

kokoprincess:
am still in shock he is treating his daughter he claims to love so much this way all because he wants to me hurt me. He is a hard hearted man

njokusboy:
Don't use general terms....
Be specific....
Does he hit you?

Anyway, if you are through with the marriage, you should come to an arrangement as to how to share custody since its you he's abusing not the kids....
You don't use your kids as collateral....