It's no news to us that the greatest evil to ever befall mankind is Religion, therefore, we'd be discussing how the supposed chalartans of religion manipulate unsuspecting victims with indoctrination and gainsaying.


Some months back, I was in my room with my friend on a certain Saturday, we were discussing guys stuff, then a couple of girls, I think 6girls and two guys stormed our compound and went to various room in two's. One very beautiful girl approached mine, he was accompanied by a guy. They started their shenanigans and sermon thereby inviting both my friend and I to their newly opened church in the process.

My friend was a Christian and he told them he wasn't coming, he had his own church he attends, no matter how they tried to convince him, he didn't bulge, however, I agreed because I was hoping to get the girls number at the end of the day, I like girls that much. I told the girl that I'm only coming because of her and she blushed and thanked me. The next day, she came to my house and reminded me of the service, I told her to go ahead and I'll meet her there by 11 and she did.

I got dressed and headed to what's soon gonna become an initiation alongside one other guy on my compound. We got to the service and they were just starting their praise song. I recognised a guy among them, he was in my department, I think two years my senior, he stepped towards the podium, grabs the microphone and started praying, the Sister's of the Lord joined him to, including their member which aren't up to 15. Suddenly, the guy started, Arrabababa, shashasha, rekepopopo, I was like the fvck? After he finished whatever the hell he was saying, they continued the service and not long after, another guy stepped in, and went directly towards the podium, he prayed and asked the newcomers to stand up and we did, like five of us I think. Then he ordered everybody to join us and started praying, telling his that one of us will be freed from the devils bondage that moment and asked everybody to join hands and pray, everybody started praying, the pastor spoke in tongues, the pianist didn't take his hand of the instrument and I felt something within me, the feeling was so strong, it was the kinda feeling I usually feel whenever am listening to Tupac with my headset. I shared my head for them, Chai....

After a while, he asked us to get sitted, our prayers have been answered. "Brother Joshua, please step on the podium and give your testimony."

"Ever since I finished university in 2014, I have been searching for job and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't secured any, I was introduced to this very church last week and I went to meet the pastor after the service, I told him of my predicament and he prayed for me, three days later, I was contacted by 10 different companies offering me job."

The pastor called several others by their 'name' to give testimonies which they did, delivering the miraculous things God did in their life.

Finally we were asked to drop offerings and they welcomed the new members to the church and the service ended.

I didn't attend the Church again after that because they used their female members, the very beautiful ones to convince the draw male members to the church.

Secondly, like a month after when we begun our CBT exam, I saw the idiot that claims to be looking for job and has been offered job by 10 different companies, I saw him with his course for, alas, he was still a student and he was there to write his CBT exam too.


Feel free to drop your comment and experiences too.

cc. Seun

I dnt kno wat to say to you

The girl nko? Did you get your wicked way with her? Or was it all just a wasted exercise?

No picture? I can't believe this!

Behira:
I dnt kno wat to say to you

Why?

PastorAIO:
The girl nko? Did you get your wicked way with her? Or was it all just a wasted exercise?

They were using the girls to garner more members, thereby sending them to guys house, I cannot come and go and die, however, she called me every Sunday's but I didn't pick, till she stopped calling.

But then again, after everything I wrote, you had to point out the one that doesn't concern you.

eph12:
No picture? I can't believe this!

What kinda picture if I may ask?

Sveen:
What kinda picture if I may ask?

BOY, ARE YOU THE SON OF LIE MOHAMMED?
YOUR VOICE IS LIKE HIS AND YOU CAN LIE EHHHH.

And you fell for it. O ma se o!

Maybe she wasn't fine enough. If she really tingled your fancy I'm sure you're creative enough to think of a way to lure her.

You could have told her that you need some private counselling because you have special issues. From there you would tell her that you are struggling with the sin of lustful desires and if she can come and help you pray against the devil you would very much appreciate.

You could have called her before she called you and enthusiastically requested when was the next church meeting. Continue texting her with zealous piety then two days before the next church meeting call her and say you need some assistance from her. Tell her you've been invited to another church and they are really insisting that they can help you more, so you want to know if her church has any 'sweeteners' to sweeten the deal of choosing them.

Menh, you are only limited by your creative limits. Let your imagination soar. Invent and adapt, use emotion, profess zeal, show fear, admit guilt, express hope in joys to be recieved from the lord... etc etc. Other guys are doing it, you can too.

Sveen:
They were using the girls to garner more members, thereby sending them to guys house, I cannot come and go and die, however, she called me every Sunday's but I didn't pick, till she stopped calling.

But then again, after everything I wrote, you had to point out the one that doesn't concern you.

masterpower:


BOY, ARE YOU THE SON OF LIE MOHAMMED?

YOUR VOICE IS LIKE HIS AND YOU CAN LIE EHHHH.

Ok.

The so called 'men of god' use different forms of outrageous means to attract gullible zombies to their churches these days. This reminds me of a story i was told yesterday about one certain pastor x in abuja whose church was closed down because he tried to pull of a fake miracle which ended killing someone.

Basically, he wanted to perfom a raised from the dead miracle so he contacted a young man in his 30's and female to act as his mourning wife, rumours where that the guy was to be paid about a million naira(who no go gree for this burahi economy ) to pretend being dead for a couple of hours untill the fake miracle was done successfully.
So this young healthy man got into a coffin(which was poorly ventillated) and on arrival at the church it turned out that the guy had really died. That was how the fake wife in shock exposed the pastors fake ass and the scales fell of the gullible members eyes.

I just wish people could be a little bit smarter

Lol this was funny

From my years of hearing testimonies at church I don't doubt for a second that many of them are at the very least exaggerated, if not outright lies. People already have a tendency to "stretch the truth" when sharing experiences that they want a positive reaction from. I can only imagine that effect is multiplied when one is asked to share a testimony of 'god's divine work in their lives' in front of a congregation who is eager to find validation that the object of their worship is real, actually does things, & isn't just a figment of their collective imaginations.

It's quite sad and manipulative, preying on hopeful, desperate minds with half-truths & lies.

taurus25:
The so called 'men of god' use different forms of outrageous means to attract gullible zombies to their churches these days. This reminds me of a story i was told yesterday about one certain pastor x in abuja whose church was closed down because he tried to pull of a fake miracle which ended killing someone.

Basically, he wanted to perfom a raised from the dead miracle so he contacted a young man in his 30's and female to act as his mourning wife, rumours where that the guy was to be paid about a million naira(who no go gree for this burahi economy ) to pretend being dead for a couple of hours untill the fake miracle was done successfully.
So this young healthy man got into a coffin(which was poorly ventillated) and on arrival at the church it turned out that the guy had really died. That was how the fake wife in shock exposed the pastors fake ass and the scales fell of the gullible members eyes.

I just wish people could be a little bit smarter

Lol. I wish the woman was yoruba, chai, the whole world go hear am.

Hahahahaha

PastorAIO:
The girl nko? Did you get your wicked way with her?

It's only wicked if she doesn't want his um ... wicked way.