Hello,

I've been battling with my choice for a partner for a while now. Things have been very confusing. Suitors are are all fasting and praying for the same thing because God has revealed to them I will be their spouse. I've narrowed it to 3 people. The good friend, a pastor and a friend. I'll talk about the friend first.

He's the ideal partner. I've known him for years. I've seen him at his worst and he has seen mine. He's helped me and my siblings through so much and it's just the way he is with his friends. Very dependable, hardworking, nice career, christian. It honestly is way more than I could have imagined. I'm starting to fall for the guy. The problem is my parents don't approve of this choice. My parents are very focused on image and I'm sure they are concerned because the man is from a divorced home. His parents don't see eye to eye and my parents think it'll affect me. I keep thinking okay, it's true, love is not enough in a relationship. There are other factors that have to come into play and I'll just forget the guy. But that hasn't happened. It's usually very easy for me to cut people off but this one I can't shake. I have a feeling I'll be making the worst decision if I let this go.

For the pastor, he's been on my ear for years. The only attractive thing to me is that he's a christian but I know he'll be more accepted since his family is not from a broken home.

The other one is quite ugly but he's a nice guy. He's also a womanizer. and he's from a good rich family. My family has even mentioned if I marry him, I'll have a grand wedding. (just to show you their mind-set)

Am I wasting my time with the first one? Should I forget him because of the mechanics involved? Every time I talk to the guy I know whoever marries him will be the luckiest girl. At least she'll accept everything about him completely, even his broken home. I don't even deserve the guy honestly.

Well, dis is a life time decision and must not be taken in haste. Ur parents wish u well but dat does not make them decide for u cos u'll bear d'consequences of whatever decision u take or they take for u. Why can't u take some days off to pray God still answers prayer n he'll stand by u when faced with challenges in d 'future.

What's his view about his parents broken marriage? If he's strongely against and condemns it, then he's a keeper. I know parents opinions matter but my dear, it's your life and not theirs. Most people from broken homes strive to keep theirs intact no matter what it takes. And I hope he's not the type that listens to and act upon advice of parents else each parent might poison his mind. As for the 3rd guy, you should imagine the kind of children you'll have if you married him..though that's a secondary consideration when it comes to matters of the heart, but you see the womanizing aspect, it's a "no no" don't even think of getting married to such a person cos there's no guarantee that he'll change after marriage. I'm even surprised your parents mentioned him, that means they care about wealth and not their child's happiness. As for the Pastor, pls he should find another Sister to marry.

if I c pple considering wat parents wld saying abt marriage,it baffles me.marriage ain't ur parents life oooo.mke ur mistakes urself

Go with the first guy.

From ur description, Can see ur mind is on d first guy. Just follow ur heart.

Is it you or ur parent that will live with ur husband.....everyday of ur marital life??

It's very glaring from ur narration that the first guy is the best. Regardless of whether he is from a broken family or not doesn't matter. That business concerns his mum and dad and not him......is there any perfect marriage by the way? Am sure even ur parents that are complaining do have their disagreements or quarrels atimes...

Bottomline is, follow ur heart.......listen to advice from ur parents but read between the line of every advice they tender to you.

And be fast in making up ur mind, don't think he will wait too long like that...... Trust me, You wouldn't want him to give up on you since you have been keeping him on "hold" all this while.

Any serious man who wants to make you his wife will wait for you.....but it won't be forever!

The first guy is obviously your best bet. This is the kind of guy that girls pray for, so you can't have that and want to give it away, I know I won't, no matter what my parents say or think. Not everytime listen to your parents, take a stand for yoursel sometimes. And I think this is one of those times. So if people decided not to marry from broken homes, what would become of people from these homes.
My dear do not jeopardize your happiness for anything. And do not even consider the womanizer o. Good luck

I'd like to think the guy has learnt a very valuable lesson from his dysfunctional parents how not to handle a marriage.

Speak with him concerning your fears and listen carefully.

If he blames either the mother or the father or sides anyone of them, then there might be trouble.

He is still your best bet, I think, after all he isn't the cause of their wrangling and divorce.

If you don't pick him, I'd ask you to wait until u meet someone else.

Don't go with any of the other two. That would be the mistake of a lifetime.

You say "God has revealed to them I would be their spouse". How many men does the revealing god want you to marry? Don't be decided by religion or revelations. Use logic when necessary. It's certain none of them has a revelation about you. Everything na format

When it gets to marriage, it is a decision that should be primarily made based on how it basically affects you, your future and the unborn children. What your parents think should be 25% of your decision-making process.

The "friend" having separated parents doesn't mean he would walk the same path nor does it mean that they wouldn't be good in-laws. From experience, most of the children from modern separated parents try to avoid the mistakes the parents made.... . My one kobo