RE: https://www.nairaland.com/3333937/dilemma-dont-want-baby-mama
CC Tega4B

I had to open a new account so as to keep my ID anonymous as this is my life story. I know what I have to say may have little or no impact as you may have already made up your mind as to what to do with the baby but I still have to say it.

I know times are hard and society does not really approve of baby mamas but there are so many things society does not approve of that we still do right? Besides whats the difference between you and the divorced woman next door taking care of her kids buy herself? Well you may say she was once married but then again you both are single and baby mamas.

my mom was 21 when she got pregnant in 1993 and everybody was expecting my dad to come and do normal marriage rites. Nig.ga questioned my mom just to dodge and when he knew he was the one responsible, he admitted that he was not ready to be a father. He dumped my mum, adviced her to get rid of me and move on.

It was a hard call, times were hard then, but mom decided to keep me. I still recall an old woman telling me then that though many mocked my mother for keeping the pregnancy, they were also among the first to congratulate her when I made my way to planet earth. My grandma who gave her an earful thatshe disgraced the family was ran all the way from the market (as I was told) when she heard her first grandchild (me) had arrived. keeping me was a wise choice, cause for over 20 years now I happen to be her only child. NO BROTHER, NO SISTER, just cousins.

Growing up without a dad may seem traumatic but like my friends and I(we are products of baby mamas, divorced mothers, widows etc) have discovered, it made us stronger. We know we have no fathers (even though we know them very well as they do call us to apologise for not being there) thus we choose to work harder than the rest to support our mothers. It never made us weak, it made us stronger. My dad still call to apologise to me and my mom. I told him I hold no grudges and while I am happy that he is still alive and well I would rather live like he is not there.

I was already written off before I was born, here I am graduating next year, still alive and doing well. What I am trying to say is this: That child you are carrying is a great seed, a gift, not a mistake.

Just let his parents know you are pregnant for their son but you wont abort it, neither will you disturb his marriage but just for them to know they have a grandchild somewhere else (exactly what my mom did).

Dating again wont be easy as many "boys" will leave you once you say you already have a child but then again, a REAL man will accept you and your child. He doesn't need to be his father, he just needs to know you have a child already and accept him.

Like my mom once told me; "when times are hard and I want to give up, when people ridicule me and when I am heartbroken, I just look at you, see how much pain I passed through to have you and I have the strength to keep on fighting"

That child might be the reason why you will keep on fighting someday. KEEP THE CHILD. THE GRAVE IS ALREADY FILLED WITH DOCTORS, LAWYERS, GENIUSES, LEADERS ETC who were not giving the chance to see the world.

Ok, thread for em baby mamas and papas and the girls who are already confused on who the father of her unborn baby is...i walk majestically out of thread.