Do you sometimes feel that your marriage is blissful?
Well, think again.

Here are some common problems that couples normally take for granted that lead to marriage in crisis:

1 Many children (3+)

Big families are more common in some under developing countries of the world
but still the number of kids in the family must be well thought and planned by couples.

Problems that may arise from this aside from the budget is the lost of privacy and personal space.
Couple may suffer working for the family and kids need alone forgetting about their own needs.

As they strive hard to support the family,
couples forget enjoying each other companionship
and having a little fun that gradually become the cause for marriage in crisis.

Later in their marriage life they will find that they are growing
apart and do not love each other anymore.

The emotions just died down.

2 Being too conscious about what other people say

Image or reputation is everything.
Partners do want to please everybody especially the other people looking at them.

Husbands sometimes are too keen with their status,
image, and what others think that they consider them as more important than
what their own spouse thinks that lead to marriage in crisis.

Gathering comments for decision or plain discussion is good but if you make it as the main basis of your decision rather than your partner then you need to revisit discussions and events and realize that you have ignored your partner fully.

Marriage involves making decisions as partners first considering other people opinions.

Always remember that other people do not govern your life nor strive to work for the success and well-being of your family but you and your partner do need to work so the relationship and the marriage may survive.

3 Too proud to accept wife's opinion

People who are too proud to accept mistakes about their opinions do not listen to their partners but simply make their words a rule in the house.

This will lead to the wife having no participation in the decision-making about things in the house,
the kids, and the marriage.

This situation may survive for a limited number of years
but not for the life of the marriage because ignoring your partner opinion
will make her feel ignored, less valued,
and naturally make her feel upset that it begins to break her confidence
and psychologically influences her self-worth. The husband may think that this behavior is normal since he thinks of himself as head of the family.

Try to revisit some major decisions and events in your life
and you will know that you are the only one making the decision
and your wife is trying hard to make a little life of her own.
This leads to a marriage in crisis that deliberately set you apart from your partner.

Then your partner tries to cope up her breaking self-worth crisis by building a separate life of her own even if you are still living together.

The moment she regains her self-worth and confidence she will ultimately decide to leave you especially if she is successful with her career or business and unknowingly you have never been a part of it.

I do not agree with number 1 and 3. The number of children has nothing to do with marital disharmony. Instead, you can say the lack of maturity between couples can tear them apart. Children are just excuse for unprepared, and irresponsible parents to disagree.

Number 3 is also too short sighted. What do you say of a wife who is less successful and still manage to influence her husband's decision? The truth is that, it is not a gender thing. It is about how couple ensure effective and meaningful communication. Most of us are gifted in art of talking but impatience in turning it into an effective communication tool. Talking and communicating are not the same. One is liken to a radio jingles, the other always expect a feedback.

To me, the problems in marriage can be :
1. Finance
2. Infidelity
3. Lack or lost of trust
4 impatience
5. Pride, and attempt by one person to dominate the other.
5. Finally, lack of awareness/understanding about marriage. Most people think marriage is all about making love and making babies. They run into trouble when they are tired of love making and has no idea how to spice up the marriage.

olanajim:

I do not agree with number 1 and 3. The number of children has nothing to do with marital disharmony. Instead, you can say the lack of maturity between couples can tear them apart. Children are just excuse for unprepared, and irresponsible parents to disagree.

Number 3 is also too short sighted. What do you say of a wife who is less successful and still manage to influence her husband's decision? The truth is that, it is not a gender thing. It is about how couple ensure effective and meaningful communication. Most of us are gifted in art of talking but impatience in turning it into an effective communication tool. Talking and communicating are not the same. One is liken to a radio jingles, the other always expect a feedback.

To me, the problems in marriage can be :
1. Finance
2. Infidelity
3. Lack or lost of trust
4 impatience
5. Pride, and attempt by one person to dominate the other.
5. Finally, lack of awareness/understanding about marriage. Most people think marriage is all about making love and making babies. They run into trouble when they are tired of love making and has no idea how to spice up the marriage.

Your point is noted. Bear in mind however that there is nothing like a perfect opinion.

Some people would not mind so many kids while others would.

My thread did not in anyway SPECIFY that that was the only problems that could tear a family apart. NO SIR!
You seem to know so much why not post more on such threads?

We could do with your experise

I don't think I know more than that, Thanks for the offer, let everyone else contribute. The problems of life is not the same, Some people may think money is their problems, while others thinks it is a bed-wetting wife, Yet, there are those who have think it is their wives's obesity.

I therefore cannot say that this exactly is the problem. But we can just mention what we are familiar with.

I dont agree wit no1,using myself as an example we come from large families n we wanted d same, right now we have 5 n want 1 more.I just think couples shd talk abt wat they want expect b4 marriage.Other tings dat cause crisis r infidelity,lack of trust,childlessness,mummys boys dat let their family interfere in their bussiness,when a woman earns more money than her hubby(if d hubby is not secure),too much disparity in opinions n lots more.

number is definitely bullshit total nonsense

olanajim:

I don't think I know more than that, Thanks for the offer, let everyone else contribute. The problems of life is not the same, Some people may think money is their problems, while others thinks it is a bed-wetting wife, Yet, there are those who have think it is their wives's obesity.

I therefore cannot say that this exactly is the problem. But we can just mention what we are familiar with.

YOU do well.

Who are you anyway?

You seem very reasonable and objective.

I like you.

I quit agree with olanijim, family crisis is some thing that needs wisdom otherwise it will affect every menber of the family.

I hv read all the posts on this thread. there is somthing we called, Individual diferences. What I am going thru in my family may not actually be like yours.
I quite agree with the 3 problems but that they are not the most common once. Have you looked into SEX, even though married some are denied good sex, man and woman alike.
Financial prudency is another, while the Man or the woman is looking at where they wl likely be in the next few years in other to cyrtail their spending the woman or the man may like to spend on irrelevant things like cloth, shoe etc

Dont be surprised. children may contribute to these.
what do I mean. It is only Parents that can tell you they loved one child than the other. May be as a result of what they passed through in having one than the other or things one child used to do or say to the Parents. Or a particular trait in the Parent that a child has that others dont have.
Infact, it is diverse, and that is why one must be sensitive in the house to read and correct various moves to keep your home in order and not disarray.