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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Matured Advice Needed. (1346 Views)
My Relationship Gone Bad, Matured Advice Needed.. / I Am In Love With A Married Lady. Should I Tell Her? Matured advice please / Matured Advice Pls, She Is Breaking Up With Me Cos Of This (pics) (2) (3) (4)
Matured Advice Needed. by Nobody: 4:51am On Sep 11, 2016 |
Please I need your help on this as e don dey pass my power. I dated my wife for some years before marriage. She had this no sex before marriage rule which I respected since I met her a virgin at 25.Since then I can swear I have been her only intimate partner before marriage. She once displayed this low libido, inexperience altitude which I didn't take serious even when we eventually had sex last year she cried all thru and I promised not to touch her again until after sealing the deal. Now we have been for months now, I practically changed her wardrobe when we went on honey moon and have tried my best to make her happy. But I can't bear this alone anymore. Our sex life sucks. I have tried all I can to make her improve all to no avail. She just lies like a log of wood and she believes sex is only to make babies and that should be at least twice a month. I on the other hand can have sex every day and having dated loads of girls ,I feel I am not getting it sexually. The only time I get to enjoy sex with her is if she is tipsy. But I can't get her drunk purposely so we can enjoy sex na. That will create another problem. Please how do I increase her appetite for sex. Make her want more sex or increase her libido. I promised not to cheat on her . She is everymans dream save for this sex aspect. Kindly help a brother . Any safe drugs, fruits, roots, etc.u can recommend pls. I have done all I know to do from giving her head, getting her into loads of pre-intimacy it just ain't working . Pls help me out. Thanks |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by HungerBAD: 5:01am On Sep 11, 2016 |
At the end of the day you will need to talk to her about it. But first let me bore you with a story. Some years ago, a close friend friend of mine was dating another girl from the same part of Lagos we lived in. She comes from a good home, so we were not surprised when my friend said she was a Virgin. We all parted ways for the University, but she and my friend kept in touch and we all assumed marriage was sure after we finished Schooling. During our service, i travelled to see my friend in an "happening State" where he was serving to catch fun, only to meet a female Corper in his place. I asked him HOW FAR?he said he wanted to chop and clean mouth. And so i slept in one room in the corpers lodge, and that night none of us in that lodge slept. Their lovemaking kept us awake. She kept screaming his name, and when i mean scream, she screamed until the morning. They got married not long ago, and when i asked him why dish a girl you deflowered?he said the Virgin girl usually sleep like a log of wood when they meet. He did not need to tell me about his wife, as she had kept me awake from screaming his name before. So the inexperienced Virgin girl lost out to the screaming professional. Same thing you are complaining about in your wife. I wish she can read this my story. She does not not be a screamer, but you need to talk to her to be an "ACTIVE"participant. Some women are naturally rigid, and for that you need to create the right conducive atmosphere/environment for lovemaking. Some women like a very relaxed atmosphere to make love to their men. You dont want to make love to your wife, and your neighbours are walking past your bedroom window, or there is no power supply and the two of you are sweating. At the end of the day, her biggest problem might even be her inexperience, so guide her. You are welcome. 4 Likes |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by ladyF(f): 5:03am On Sep 11, 2016 |
Hmmmm.... I no sabi this one o. Let me wait for the experts. But women, if you don't take care of your hubby, someone else will o. Don't mind that dettol advert! ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by Nobody: 5:06am On Sep 11, 2016 |
Free her of sex 4 a very long time |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by wordbank(m): 5:37am On Sep 11, 2016 |
Go fifty shades of grey and fifty shades of black on her |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by Adeoba10(m): 5:38am On Sep 11, 2016 |
Hope she was not circumcized, if yes den it will be very add to increase her libido. Just visit an expert for proper solution bcus i dont tink is good to place her on drugs tru out her lifetime... To talk tru, e dey pain person, make ur partner come sleep like log of wood,. Even d moaning sef dey romantic. 1 Like |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by Dotmanroy(m): 5:44am On Sep 11, 2016 |
Hmm... Dis one pass me |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by Ishilove: 6:22am On Sep 11, 2016 |
HungerBAD:Minister of Women affairs ![]() |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by Nobody: 6:28am On Sep 11, 2016 |
[s]Watch serious porn with her 24/7 till her mindset changes[/s] 1 Like |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by nmreports: 6:56am On Sep 11, 2016 |
Don't worry as long as it's not a medical, psychological issue or she was circumcised, she will come around. |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by donbenedict(m): 7:22am On Sep 11, 2016 |
More reason I tend to avoid all these "churchy" females. |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by Nobody: 7:42am On Sep 11, 2016 |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by Nobody: 8:24am On Sep 11, 2016 |
My dear carry ur cross in peace, ur case is common. U can force a horse to the river, u can't force it to drink d water. The orientation she grew up with right from childhood can not change at age almost 30. I'll advice u leave her and seek any safe way out to soothe urself as far as d safety of ur marriage comes 1st..maybe don't disturb her for sex for a while. She'll get it right later but it will take long, to be frank it won't happen in a swift of time so prepare urself for a long project. U promised not to cheat on her does not mean she has d right to frustrate the promise. That promise shd be respected not by you alone but both of you. Instead, she unconsciously sees d promise now as her excuse. I blame you too to some extent especially during ur courtship. See inspite of a woman's cool behavior, its not wise to make her think all about her is just perfect.. That doesn't make you wicked, its just who they are, its good to compliment them very well especially in public but u shd also make them have a conation that a better standard can be attained. You shdnt be carried away by some gud aspects of hers and be making life promises on what you haven't entered. I prefer not to make a promise and yet do even beta than what d promise entails than to make a promise and fear to break it. You ought to have being singng it to her ears from courtship that u won't take a starved sex life in marriage. That doesn't mean she won't still behave this way but at least to be fore-warned is to be fore-armed and there'll be a difference. Or how is it reasonable for u to stay without enjoyable sex and ure married..does that make sense? Sometimes, non-virgns who have learnt the pleasure of sex b4 marriage are even better. Ur wife was supposed to be a reverend sister I suppose. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by kingreign(m): 9:02am On Sep 11, 2016 |
RadicallyBlunt: OP, [size=21pt]DO NOT[/size] i repeat [size=21pt]DO NOT[/size] follow this advice. You do, you'd watch helplessly as your home shatters. How can human being give a skewed advice early mormor ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by Nobody: 9:05am On Sep 11, 2016 |
kingreign:Keep to your opinion guy. And I'll keep to mine. We both share same right of advice to the OP. Its his choice to choose 2 Likes |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by An0nimus: 11:32am On Sep 11, 2016 |
No disrespect to Romance sections folks, but specter this is better in the Family section. More experienced hands there. Maybe the mods will help you move it. |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by csamii: 2:19pm On Sep 11, 2016 |
Very simple. Change all your drinking water to alcoholic wine and beer. Thank me later |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by ZeeAfrica(f): 2:32pm On Sep 11, 2016 |
Either u spike her drink wit spanish fly or watch porn wit her, n be showin he the stuff u want. Also invite her to gym so dat she can be flexible |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by Antina(f): 8:48pm On Sep 11, 2016 |
specter:You should have married one of those you had tested and confirmed. |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by Nobody: 8:58pm On Sep 11, 2016 |
Spanishfly should do the trick. |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by Nobody: 4:58am On Sep 12, 2016 |
party: How do i get it? |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by Nobody: 5:01am On Sep 12, 2016 |
Antina: You know like they say, you can't always get a complete package. She is 90% perfect , though I will never tell her this. Her type is rear. Hard if not impossible to find. She completes me. I dated a lot of girls and she stood out. The only issue I have with her is the sex issue and outside that we have no issue at all. |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by Nobody: 5:04am On Sep 12, 2016 |
ZeeAfrica: Perfect ! I should surely do the gym stuff I need to tone her down a lil. But for the Spanish fly , how do I get it, and are there any side effects on the long run? |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by AngelAhnie(f): 5:12am On Sep 12, 2016 |
specter:Give her head, pre-intimacy all that will make her excited. Make your sex life fun and prepare her mind towards it. |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by robosky02(m): 6:32am On Sep 12, 2016 |
AngelAhnie: hmm ![]() |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by Nobody: 7:14am On Sep 12, 2016 |
AngelAhnie: I have done all these ones Jare. Not working. We had a talk yesternight. I just discovered she grew up with this mindset that sex is only for procreation and not otherwise. Mind you I am not being denied sex, just that it's not fun and it's a one sided thing . That's just the issue. |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by robosky02(m): 7:51am On Sep 12, 2016 |
@ specter There are a few things which almost every woman wishes men did more of in bed and we will treat them here. 1. Give her an orgasm before real sex starts For some women, getting an orgasm before the very act commences is one of the greatest turn ons they can ever get. And this is by far the biggest thing women wish their men did more of in bed. And sadly, most men don't even try to explore this as they are always in a hurry to stick it inside and hump away. They clumsily plow straight to intercourse as fast as possible without taking time to engage in serious pre-intimacy. Their idea of pre-intimacy usually consists of a few minutes of obligatory kissing, followed by another few minutes of obligatory breast stimulation, and their ultimate goal of intercourse is reached. No woman wants this; it is as simple as that! If you can give your wife an orgasm before you penetrate her, then it's guaranteed to be good sex in her book, even if you don't last as long as you'd like. And on top of this, giving her an orgasm will make her more responsive and much more likely to have another orgasm during intercourse. Sex becomes better for you, and for her. 2. Pay attention to non-obvious erogenous zones in her body Most men, and I mean quite a large number of men, only pay attention to the obvious spots on a woman's body when trying to give her sexual pleasure. Spots like the breasts, clitoris and center of gravity are often attacked with the erroneous belief that this will set her in the right mood. But women don't want men to only pay attention to these spots as they want you to pay attention to their whole body. Research has shown that there are 16 other hidden erogenous zones on a woman's body which can give her pleasure, and which can actually make her more sensitive to vaginal stimulation. Look for these hidden zones on her body and spend quality time working on them and she will be screaming your name in pleasure. 3. Lasting longer in bed Most women don't mind if you don't last that long in bed, as long as you're good with your fingers, because you will adequately compensate her by working your magic fingers appropriately and in the right places. But women hate it when a man shoots off too soon because it prevents them from having orgasms. How would you feel if a woman got you close to an orgasm, then all of a sudden stopped, rolled over, and went to sleep? You need to know how to last 30 minutes in bed at the minimum but if you really want to drive you woman wild, then you should learn how to last over an hour in bed. And of course, you can have a quickie once in a while, but most of the time, women will need a minimum of 30 minutes of intercourse to have multiple orgasms. And by lasting longer in bed, it includes all the works, the finger works, the cunnilingus, the MouthAction, the romance and above all, the actual sex itself. 4. Tease her until she begs for it Again, it is no gain saying that most men do not spend time doing the ground work before the sex begins. They just plow forwards directly to his goal of intercourse with no finesse, just doing the minimum necessary to get to penetration. But what women want is for you to build up to a sexual action with teasing until she's practically begging you for it. And when you finally give in to her, she will be grateful to you all the time. For example, with MouthAction, most men just dive right in. What would turn her on much more is if you kiss up her inner thighs, and breathe warmly on her vagina. Then, so lightly she can barely feel it, run your tongue over her clitoris. Do this until she's pleading with you to give her more and then give her the gratification. She'll enjoy it about a hundred times more. 5. More oral please A typical Nigerian man wants his woman to give him the mind blowing Mouth Action but they would be taken aback if their women asks them to go down on her. Hey, do you remember the saying of doing to others what you would want them to do to you? If your woman can give you a Mouth Action, I see no reason for you not to replicate same. If you know how to do it right, giving her MouthAction is the fastest and easiest way to give her orgasms. Once you make her come through MouthAction, she'll be much more responsive during the real intercourse, and much more likely to go down on you. Give your woman plenty of MouthAction, and she will love you for it. 6. Turn her on with words of mouth Women are sensitive beings and they like to hear what you men call sweet nonsense. There is no woman who does not like being complemented and told those sweet things but most men are afraid to say anything or make any noise in bed because they're afraid the woman will think they're cheesy or weird. But if they were privy to private female conversations, they would know the exact opposite is true. A woman gets bored with a man who is completely silent in bed, because she doesn't know whether or not he's even enjoying it. It's a complete turn-off. Women want their men to tell them they are actually enjoying what they do with her. Think about it: would you be turned on more by a woman who lay there as silent and still as a corpse, or a woman who is screaming your name in pleasure and telling you she loved your cock? You need to learn how to be vocal in bed, and how to turn a woman on through sexual talk. 7. Use sexual eye contact more Have you ever had an orgasm while looking into your woman's eyes the entire time? It is one of the most intensely pleasurable experiences you can have. The sexual eye contact heightens the feelings of pleasure and connection beyond anything I can describe in words. And any woman who has experienced this before craves for more of it. Avoid the typical routine of turning off all the lights and just grunting and pounding away in the dark. Start to work some eye contact into your sexual encounters, and see how much it turns her on. Of course, you have to learn how to do this in the right way but once you do, she'll love it. 8. Pay attention to her after sex Some men just turn their back on their women after sex and in twinkle, they are snoring off. Nothing is more killing than this. After sex, a woman is completely open and vulnerable to you. Most guys squander this time by ignoring her after sex, or by just going to sleep. Women don't 'come down' from sexual pleasure as quickly as men though, so she's going to want you to hold her and be close to her while she does. Believe me, she'll enjoy sex much more if you just spend a few minutes doing this. Plus, what most guys don't know is that after sex is the best time to strengthen her sexual bond to you, so that she wants to have sex more in the future. If you're doing the right things here, you'll never have to beg and plead for sex because her sexual bond to you will be so strong she'll be eager for sex whenever you want it. 9. Get her to perform for you Men are obsessed with putting in a good performance in bed. And to some extent, this is not a bad thing because you do want to give her sexual pleasure and orgasms. But if you need to be performing for her all the time, then this can be a big turn-off for her. She wants a guy who can also set up situations where she can perform for him. For example, almost all women love giving blow jobs if the guy can get her thinking about them the right way. And if you can get her to perform for you like this, it'll be a huge sexual thrill to her. Think about the rush you get from giving her a huge orgasm - this is what she'll experience if you know how to bypass her inhibitions and get her to perform for you in bed. 10. Learn how to give her orgasms Finally, be concerned about her orgasm and this is very important for her ego and your over all sex life. By combining all the steps I have highlighted, you will soon have your woman screaming her head off in bed. |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by AngelAhnie(f): 7:54am On Sep 12, 2016 |
robosky02:Bosky, good morning ![]() |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by robosky02(m): 7:59am On Sep 12, 2016 |
Re: Matured Advice Needed. by Nobody: 8:09am On Sep 12, 2016 |
whoever preaches Abstinence before marriage is a dunce,life, and marriage goes beyond abstinence ... Marriage is a life contract, why would I enter it blindly, and later hoping for the best in a regret situation.. You had it coming, so stay with it. If you can't cope, lemme tell you what some folks will tell you here,PRAY,you better use your tongue to count your teeth.. Someone should gimme a reason why men won't cheat with this? |
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