Saw a teenage girl in agony, she was holding unto a bike-man and weeping bitterly. I thought it was the usual rude Okada-man and passenger strife so my friend and I ignored them

The girl seemed determined to create a scene as she shouted and wept bitterly. Because of the number of people that had started gathering around them, we had some time on our hands so we decided to move closer to get a better view

"What could this clean pretty looking teenager who was speaking impeccable English be doing with the scruffily dressed Okada man who couldn't explain himself for his lack of communication skills? " predictably, most onlookers must have been wondering about this too

Behold, we kept hearing "Daddy why, why did you abandon us, you don't know anything about us, you don't know our ages, you don't know my birthday, you were never there for me, daddy why?" she wept bitterly

"Is it my fault that you don't care about my mum, daddy why don't you care about us, why sir? " she asked in tears

Her sister soon joined in trying to restrain her because she wouldn't let her father go "Leave him let's go" it seemed like she was trying hard not to cry herself "You have finished secondary school we don't need him any more" she was saying to her sister. That was when we decided it was time to go(as we now knew what the commotion was all about)

Hmm, the emotional pain in that girl's heart cannot be put into words effectively. Obviously, she has been storing years of sadness before now, she couldn't contain it any longer so she must have planned to confront him without their mother's knowledge

If you are one of those who think you can abandon your kids because of your failed marriage or relationship, think again. Your kids need you in their lives regardless of what is going on between you and their mother

That girl is definitely scared for life now unless a miracle happens some how. The man didn't even care, all he wanted to do was leave the place as soon as he could and as we left there, I kept hearing her ask him "Daddy why?

True story.

I have no respect for people who abandon their children...

DDeliverer:
I have no respect for people who abandon their children...

Me too, male or female.

I just hope herself and her sister would scale through life and put that man to shame

Pidggin:
Saw a teenage girl in agony, she was holding unto a bike-man and weeping bitterly. I thought it was the usual rude Okada-man and passenger strife so my friend and I ignored them

The girl seemed determined to create a scene as she shouted and wept bitterly. Because of the number of people that had started gathering around them, we had some time on our hands so we decided to move closer to get a better view

"What could this clean pretty looking teenager who was speaking impeccable English be doing with the scruffily dressed Okada man who couldn't explain himself for his lack of communication skills? " predictably, most onlookers must have been wondering about this too

Behold, we kept hearing "Daddy why, why did you abandon us, you don't know anything about us, you don't know our ages, you don't know my birthday, you were never there for me, daddy why?" she wept bitterly

"Is it my fault that you don't care about my mum, daddy why don't you care about us, why sir? " she asked in tears

Her sister soon joined in trying to restrain her because she wouldn't let her father go "Leave him let's go" it seemed like she was trying hard not to cry herself "You have finished secondary school we don't need him any more" she was saying to her sister. That was when we decided it was time to go(as we now knew what the commotion was all about)

Hmm, the emotional pain in that girl's heart cannot be put into words effectively. Obviously, she has been storing years of sadness before now, she couldn't contain it any longer so she must have planned to confront him without their mother's knowledge

If you are one of those who think you can abandon your kids because of your failed marriage or relationship, think again. Your kids need you in their lives regardless of what is going on between you and their mother

That girl is definitely scared for life now unless a miracle happens some how. The man didn't even care, all he wanted to do was leave the place as soon as he could and as we left there, I kept hearing her ask him "Daddy why?

True story.

Really?

I was taught on this forum that single parents raise children who are just as well-adjusted as children from a complete family. Hence you can divorce your partner at the drop of a hat, after-all its your happiness as a person that is important, damn what your children or anyone else thinks.
Maybe the girl was pretending to cry?




We come online and spew all kinds of rubbish and state foolish statistics when in truth we know what really happens in the world. Children need both thier parents to have a fulfilled life, take it or leave it. You are not fit to be a parent if you leave your marriage at the smallest inclination. This goes for both men and women. Your happiness as a parent is not paramount, you have a responsibility to your children, you are not a child in a candy store selfishly taking whatever sweet catches your fancy because "it is your life". Putting yourself first in life is selfish and foolish and immature and if everyone around you acted the same way, being selfish, the world would be a colder darker place.


Love is not meant to be kept to oneself. Love is meant to be shared. If you cannot forgive your partner, the one you married with pomp and pageantry, the one you claim to love with your whole heart, if you cannot forgive that one when he or she greviously sins against you, if you would rather destroy everything both of you have built by walking away, then your love has no value. Your declared love is useless and worthless. You are all mouth and no action.


It would have been better if you were never a parent.

5minsmadness:


Really?

I was taught on this forum that single parents raise children who are just as well-adjusted as children from a complete family. Hence you can divorce your partner at the drop of a hat, after-all its your happiness as a person that is important, damn what your children or anyone else thinks.
Maybe the girl was pretending to cry?




We come online and spew all kinds of rubbish and state foolish statistics when in truth we know what really happens in the world. Children need both thier parents to have a fulfilled life, take it or leave it. You are not fit to be a parent if you leave your marriage at the smallest inclination. This goes for both men and women. Your happiness as a parent is not paramount, you have a responsibility to your children, you are not a child in a candy store selfishly taking whatever sweet catches your fancy because "it is your life". Putting yourself first in life is selfish and foolish and immature and if everyone around you acted the same way, being selfish, the world would be a colder darker place.


Love is not meant to be kept to oneself. Love is meant to be shared. If you cannot forgive your partner, the one you married with pomp and pageantry, the one you claim to love with your whole heart, if you cannot forgive that one when he or she greviously sins against you, if you would rather destroy everything both of you have built by walking away, then your love has no value. Your declared love is useless and worthless. You are all mouth and no action.


It would have been better if you were never a parent.

100 likes for this post. It's better to have both parents especially if they are responsible individuals. It's quite self-fish for anyone to separate or divorce over issues that can be termed trivial. I don't think any sane person will support this

Although I think there should be a few cases of exceptions regarding separation (I am not in support of divorce). In the case of wife battery, incest or persistent adultery, both partners are better apart. I hope you are not supporting they remain together even at the risk of possible death?

The question is does separation or even divorce validate a parent abandoning his/her kid(s)?

My take

5minsmadness:


Really?

I was taught on this forum that single parents raise children who are just as well-adjusted as children from a complete family. Hence you can divorce your partner at the drop of a hat, after-all its your happiness as a person that is important, damn what your children or anyone else thinks.
Maybe the girl was pretending to cry?




We come online and spew all kinds of rubbish and state foolish statistics when in truth we know what really happens in the world. Children need both thier parents to have a fulfilled life, take it or leave it. You are not fit to be a parent if you leave your marriage at the smallest inclination. This goes for both men and women. Your happiness as a parent is not paramount, you have a responsibility to your children, you are not a child in a candy store selfishly taking whatever sweet catches your fancy because "it is your life". Putting yourself first in life is selfish and foolish and immature and if everyone around you acted the same way, being selfish, the world would be a colder darker place.


Love is not meant to be kept to oneself. Love is meant to be shared. If you cannot forgive your partner, the one you married with pomp and pageantry, the one you claim to love with your whole heart, if you cannot forgive that one when he or she greviously sins against you, if you would rather destroy everything both of you have built by walking away, then your love has no value. Your declared love is useless and worthless. You are all mouth and no action.


It would have been better if you were never a parent.

wow, man. You just won the Internet man of the day.

Hmmmm, it is well! I think every woman owes her kids the responsibility of teaming with a responsible man as their father before they are even conceived. A man who wouldn't leave his kids even if he leaves his wife...

DDeliverer:
I have no respect for people who abandon their children...

Dazzall.

Being separated or divorced from your spouse doesn't mean you shouldn't be in the lives of your children.
As a parent, you've got responsibilities towards your children.

Pidggin:




100 likes for this post. It's better to have both parents especially if they are responsible individuals. It's quite self-fish for anyone to separate or divorce over issues that can be termed trivial. I don't think any sane person will support this

Although I think there should be a few cases of exceptions regarding separation (I am not in support of divorce). In the case of wife battery, incest or persistent adultery, both partners are better apart. I hope you are not supporting they remain together even at the risk of possible death?

The question is does separation or even divorce validate a parent abandoning his/her kid(s)?

My take

First things first.
Whoever intends on getting married owe it to themselves and to thier children to pick the right partner. Its an awesome responsibility and not one to be taken lightly at all. If you as a man or woman choose the right person to spend the rest of your life with, then most of the problems we see in marriage will not exist.


In our current generation, men and women tend to marry for the wrongest reasons. Men marry a woman becausr she is pretty and sexy (both of which will fade after afew years if not months into the marriage), and women marry men for material gains, not bothering if thr man is a wife-beater or alcoholic or irresponsible or a womaniser.

And then when the consquences begin to surface they blame everyone and everything but themselves. You marry an irresponsible okada rider and when he later abandons you and the kids you blame the okada-rider, why marry such a person in the first place. You marry a woman you met at a nightclub cos she gives you anal and all the best sex styles and you defend it by saying even church girls do worse, then when she starts to sleep around and refuses (or doesnt know how to cook), you come to nairaland to complain, why did you marry such a person in the first place?


What many people do not realise during courtship is that the person you want to marry is going to be the mother of your kids. Or the father of your children. Can you set aside the blinding prejudice of sexual prowess and financial wealth for a moment, and imagine if you really want to raise children with such an individual? If no, then you have a duty to your unborn children to quit such a relationship before it reaches marriage level.


Recently, Pastor Adeboye set out a simple list of things to look out for in a marriage partner and majority of our very wise youths laughed and made a mockery of him. They made a mockery of a man whose marriage has spanned decades. I'm sure he too was laughing quietly to himself in his closet. A popular adage says what the elder sees sitting down, the <small-minded> youth cannot see even if they climb a coconut tree. The youths of this generation keep thinking they know better than the elders, and because they fail to follow wisdom, marriages will continue to crumble.

Now to answer your question.

Marriage is the closest you will get to a blood oath without actually shedding any blood. It is a very serious institution, not something to get into lightly at all. Every saturday thousands of men and women getting married chant out that the only thing that will seperate them from each other is DEATH. Does that sound like a joke to you? That is a very serious commitment. It is NOT a commitment that shoild be broken by trivial issues. It is not a commitment that should be broken by grevious issues. It is a commitment that should be broken only by death! Or isnt that what the sweet lovebirds proclaim on thier wedding day? To love each other, no matter what, until death does them apart? Why in all sincerity would you take such an awesome oath with the wrong person ? Why make such a promise with someone whose background you do not know apart from he is wealthy, or whose family you have no history of because she is good in bed?


You are entering the marriage with the belief that no matter what you find, your love for that person will see you through. Now if you know you do not have that kind of love ab initio, DO NOT MARRY THE PERSON.



A man should be able to forgive his adulterous wife. He should be able to forgive her a minimum of 77 times 7 times. Abi is that not what we profess as christians? Or we are pagans now? At the very least if he is afraid of std's he can seperate from her and then help her to curb her philandering habit, either through counselling or family meetings or whatnot. Tough meat to chew for men, but there u have it. If your wife can forgive your womanising, you should be big enough to forgive her as well.


A woman should forgive her man if he hits her. It is not true at all the saying that once a man hits a woman he is addicted to hitting her for life. That is total rubbish. Find the reason for his violence and help him curb it. That is your love being tested! You cant balk and cry and shout 'betrayal!' the first time he hits you. Seek counselling for him. Find help. Let your love for him shine through. Love is NOTHING if it only shines during the good times.



Finally, in cases where one's life is at stake e.g the man or woman has threathened to kill you or has attemptedto do so either physicallyor otherwise, then there is nothing to be gained in staying in the same environment with such a person at that point in time. I would advocate for seperation so you can remove yourself to a saner, safer enviroment for the time being whike you try and sort things out.

Brb.

I honestly wonder how single parent, baby mama and baby dad cope and handle their kids as they grow up without a complete sane family circle