Although slightly nuanced, Persuasion and Influence are terms similar in meaning. On that note, I’d begin by going into the semantics:

Persuasion, in its literal sense, is to cause a person to do something, through a means – reasoning and argument, certain acts that result to certain reactions from their subjects.
Influence on the other hand, is “the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something, or the effect itself”

As Persuasion and Influence are congenital in select set of people, they are skills that can be developed for those they don’t come naturally to.

An advantage a learned skill has over the innate is that those who embody the former are conscious in its dispensation and of its efficacy. Such persuaders aware of what they’re doing and the effect it elicits in their subjects. Those who have dedicated themselves to the acquirement of such skill, due to their conscious awareness, are duly equipped against its effect — they are less likely to be a subject of persuasion and Influence, at least not unwillingly.

A learned skill is rarely dispensed as perfectly and as effectively as an innate, it is honed to a certain degree; One which can only border on perfection.

Developing the ability to Persuade and Influence can immensely effect most areas of your life; Be it with business partners, office superiors and associates, your immediate family, women, virtually everyday encounter with people.

Thoroughly mastered, you will get the most out of life with a dazzling ease.



With that said, It begs the questions: how do you master the art of persuasion and influence? how do you harness its force and power, channeling them into extracting every of your desires from people and encounters with them?

There are persuasion and influence techniques, which I’ve successfully used, some of which werent given a name till i read Robert B. Cialdini’s Influence: The Pyschology of Persuasion and adopted them. These techniques, when effectively executed, can lead to desirable reactions in people – the subjects:



Commitment and Consistency technique: You can activate the force of commitment and consistency in your subject by exploiting their proclivity to remain consistent with a preconceived ideology, self-image, beliefs or a promise.

I’d give a short anecdote: I was going to ask a colleague who had been — prior — somewhat difficult and unopened towards me, on a date, at my place. She wouldn’t even give me her number. I couldn’t risk the pain of any more rejection from her, so in the course of our conversation, I said, in the most innocuous and factual manner, “lol. you know you’re mean, so I’m not surprised“. She went on an attempt to qualify herself: “really? I’m actually not like that, maybe you misunderstood me…bla bla bla”. I acted indifferent, seeming like I had already accepted her as mean, and didn’t think she was any different or was going to change.

It wasn’t long I said I had to go attend to somethings. I asked her to a date at my place, she agreed, without any hint of reservation. She also had to give me her number — which she had initially refused to — because I needed to contact her as to how to get to my place.

why would a lady who had been cold and standoff-ish towards me suddenly become all nice and alluring, now open to all of my requests she had initially turned down?

Note that there are two techniques I employed here that resulted into the sudden change in her attitude, eliciting a reaction that swung the situation in my favor:

In the process of qualifying herself, she made a statement in her defense, implying she was in fact a nice person. Consequently, The need to be consistent with her proposed self-image — she being a nice person — and her words being in congruence with her actions, became engendered in her. Whether her initial attitude to me was her true self or a front, she now had to be ‘nice’ to be consistent with her proposed self-image.

Secondly: People hate it when you think you know them or have figured them out and make it a point to prove you wrong. Like, “How dare you think you know me.” They will go amusing lengths to disprove, no matter how true, a preconceived notion you had of them.



Threat and Incentive technique: One of the most effective techniques of influence and persuasion, though, unlike others, is more overt, is the use of threat – an unfavorable consequence due to noncompliance of a target – and an Incentive – what the target stands to benefit on shifting it’s stance in compliance to your desires.

For every human act, there is a motivation. We are more likely to review our position in the face of ensuing repercussion. When we realise the unfavorable fate that is to befall us shour we fail to bend in accordance to that which pleases a superior force, our decision is quickly Influenced in compliance, all in a bid to avoid an impending recourse.

Duly Incentived a subject’s decision is soon swayed. A subjects action is either motivated by fear or pleasure. Introducing an Incentive elicits the latter.

Show your subjects what he stands to gain and every wall of resistance come to a crumbling fall.



Reciprocation technique: The law of reciprocation demands that an act of generosity towards your subject create a feeling of obligation within them.

You are more likely to get a person to do your bidding having initially done them a favor. It could even be something as innocuous as getting them a gift, keeping a seat for them while they’re away, giving them a lift, you name it.

This force is so much powerful that the conscious awareness of the feeling of obligation it elicits in us does not in any way abate it. This explains why a woman who does not entertain the idea of having sex with a man will reject gifts or any other unsolicited acts of magnanimity from a man, because the moment she does, she feels a burning sense of indebtedness to him, consequently making it harder to turn down any uncomfortable request from him.

Salesmen employ this techniques in various forms. One which i have experienced firsthand is the idea of free samples: I was on my way out of the mall as I passed by a fruit juice section. I was offered a free bottle of a particular fruit juice product. “Just to have a taste of our tasty fruit juice”, the salesman said. The default response that came to my mind, which I told him, was that “I will have a taste, but I won’t be buying any of those.” This was when I knew close to nothing about techniques of persuasion and Influence, but I realised having a taste of that juice like the salesman proposed, even if I ended up not liking it, will create a feeling of obligation on my part to buy some of it.

Why most fail to successfully dispense the reciprocation technique owes to the overt way of dispensation that it immediately makes people put up their defenses. The reciprocity technique, in particular, needs to be served covertly, so much so your subject need not consider the possibility of you trying to exploit the resultant indebtedness it evokes in them. There has to be a latent purpose, one which the subject is completely oblivious to.



The context technique: You can influence the opinion of people to certain things by presenting them in a context. Their opinions are therefore shaped in comparison to the given context. The context technique is most commonly used by salesmen.

For instance, you walk into a store, wanting to buy some shoes. You are ushered to the shoes section by the salesman. Walking in, you are first shown a couple of shoes lower in standard and intrinsic value compared to the prices they go for, prices which have been intentionally hiked by the salesman. He knows, definitely, that you are sure to pass on them, but there is a psychological motive attached to this deliberate act, which i will touch on soon.

Asking to be shown other shoe collections, he walks you further to another section of shoes which are slightly higher in price but of higher standard and quality. You heave a sigh of relief, thinking to yourself, “Finally, better shoes for more or less ” you waste no time in swiping your card, thinking you struck a good bargain, oblivious to the psychological manipulation that influenced your decision.

Note that these are a set of shoes which if he had first shown you, you would have thought were too expensive to spend that much on, but owing to the fact you were initially presented relatively lower quality shoes for more or less the same price(Context), your probable reluctance to go for what you would have perceived to be too expensive for a pair of shoe, was assuaged.

Social Proof: Social validation is immensely instrumental in Influencing the opinions of your subjects as well as persuading them to do your bidding.

As humans, we like to cut through the stress of paying enough attention and time towards people or a thing, in order to ascertain their value, so we observe what people think then base our judgement off them.

People tend to pay attention to what others think about you and how they relate with you, taking them as a measure of how they should relate with you as well. Since he sees people treat you with utmost respect, even when you haven’t shown you’re a respectable person, he relates with you in accordance.

A person anxious and uncertain in a social setting tend to perceive the actions of others as what’s right, and feels the need to emulate it in order to blend into the the group and be more confident.

This is the effect of social validation: It’s what people do so it’s the right thing to do. It’s what people think thus it’s the right way to think.

when you’re trying to get someone to do business with you, simply pointing out a number of reputable and well-known people whom have worked with you can up the chances of your subject agreeing to work with you as well.

The same applies in dealing with women. Your value automatically skyrockets, to her, when a woman sees you effortlessly flirting with other women or she notices a number of broads frantically competing for your attention. Even when she knows little to nothing about you, she immediately fills that void with positive opinions of you. Since other women find you attractive enough to flirt with you, she begins to perceive you as more attractive than you actually are.



Conclusion: I will be touching on the intricacies of persuasion and Influence in subsequent posts prequeled by this as soon as I’m chanced. Go out there and put this techniques to use, seeing everyone you meet as subjects to be persuaded into doing your bidding. It is not enough to just read, taking action is imperative.

Hello babies
How are you?

Hello babies
How are you?