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Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? - Religion (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by Jay542(m): 5:36pm On Sep 22, 2016
OLAADEGBU:
Does an abused wife have to stay with her husband?
If she's comfortable with the abuse, she can. If not she can bounce. She's right either ways.
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by crackhaus: 11:02pm On Sep 22, 2016
jashar:


Once I read the topic, my spidey senses told me you would be here.

grin grin grin
My hunter senses tell me you might be a pretty chic. gringrin
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by crackhaus: 11:09pm On Sep 22, 2016
SiestaFiesta:


When people take the oath, they believe that they will stick to it and then life happens. wink

And I won't blame any Christian who believes that adultery can't be the only reason to get divorced. Some people would much rather forgive cheating than abuse and it's understandable. And since the Bible is open to interpretation and has not covered all problems of human experience, people have to seek the answers elsewhere.

Additionally, loving oneself (also in order to be able to love others) is more importnant than a fvcked up marriage:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.

cheesy grin smiley
Do my eyes deceive me, or did Mindfulness just quote from the Bible? grin
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by Victorakats(m): 11:40pm On Sep 22, 2016
Physical Abuse is a Legitimate Ground for Divorce!
No religion supports physical abuse!
And the Law doesn't encourage physical abuse!
If anyone is in a physically abused marriage and he or she have explored every healthy and necessary avenues to reconcile with his or her partner, and they failed, the person has a legitimate right to seek for divorce.
Divorce is legal and Biblical!

Divorce is reversible, Death is Not!

The God that ordained marriage didn't encourage partners to take the lives of their beloved!!!

Thank you!!!

www.amaraofficial.com

6 Likes

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by cococandy(f): 11:42pm On Sep 22, 2016
Victorakats:
Physical Abuse is a Legitimate Ground for Divorce!
No religion supports physical abuse!
And the Law doesn't encourage physical abuse!
If anyone is in a physically abused marriage and he or she have explored every healthy and necessary avenues to reconcile with his or her partner, and they failed, the person has a legitimate right to seek for divorce.
Divorce is legal and Biblical!

Divorce is reversible, Death is Not!

The God that ordained marriage didn't encourage partners to take the lives of their beloved!!!

Thank you!!!


www.amaraofficial.com
nuff said

2 Likes

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by jashar(f): 8:43am On Sep 23, 2016
crackhaus:

My hunter senses tell me you might be a pretty chic. gringrin

your hunter senses might just be apt. wink grin


But how you gonna verify? For all you know, it could be a dude behind the moniker tongue cheesy
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by Nobody: 10:30am On Sep 23, 2016
crackhaus:

Do my eyes deceive me, or did Mindfulness just quote from the Bible? grin

The part of it that resonates with me and fits into the context of this discussion perfectly. cheesy
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by emerged01(m): 10:46am On Sep 23, 2016
I hate abusive relationship. I can't stand it.

1 Like

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by crackhaus: 1:37pm On Sep 23, 2016
jashar:


your hunter senses might just be apt. wink grin


But how you gonna verify? For all you know, it could be a dude behind the moniker tongue cheesy
I will verify soon. cool
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by crackhaus: 1:41pm On Sep 23, 2016
Mindfulness:


The part of it that resonates with me and fits into the context of this discussion perfectly. cheesy
I didn't even think there was any part of it that resonates with you. I had the feeling you saw the entire book as a well documented work of fiction. cheesy
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by Nobody: 2:09pm On Sep 23, 2016
crackhaus:

I didn't even think there was any part of it that resonates with you. I had the feeling you saw the entire book as a well documented work of fiction. cheesy

It can also be taken as a history book, at least partly. There are well documented accounts that historians have proven to be true but ...
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by crackhaus: 2:19pm On Sep 23, 2016
Mindfulness:


It can also be taken as a history book, at least partly. There are well documented accounts that historians have proven to be true but ...
Indeed cool

1 Like

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by jashar(f): 3:15pm On Sep 23, 2016
crackhaus:

I will verify soon. cool

hehehe
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:42am On Sep 29, 2016
Muafrika2:


I had a neighbour who used to thoroughly beat her husband then send him outside at night till around midnight. The poor man always went home so drunk no wonder he could not defend himself. So one day, the fight involved kerosene and fire. The man died from severe burns, just like that.

In such a situation don't you think it would have been safe for the man to separate from the woman till it was safe? undecided
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:46am On Sep 29, 2016
TV01:


Because;
1. Physical abuse could be mild
2. it could be a one-off, situationally driven event
3. It could be dealt with effectively - healing and reconciliation should always be the first recourse
4. It's not given as grounds for divorce
5. There are no grounds for divorce in a consummated marriage

Further, even if you separate (you cannot remarry) unless your spouse dies - I am not counselling murder 0! - even if you call that separation "divorce". That's Christianity - I didn't write the rules grin


TV

Would separation not be better than losing your life? What's the use of living with a murderer at the expense of your marriage? undecided

1 Like

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by Nobody: 11:10am On Sep 29, 2016
OLAADEGBU:


In such a situation don't you think it would have been safe for the man to separate from the woman till it was safe? undecided

He would stay alive longer at least. Though am not so sure being the hopeless drunkard that he was.
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:35am On Sep 29, 2016
TV01:


Why don't you show us from the bible?

TV

I asked you the question. It is not a crime to say 'I do not know.' cool
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:47am On Sep 29, 2016
TV01:


Did you know most marriages do fine and deliver even with low levels of conflict - I would term that abuse - should we end them all?

You seem to bask in the fact that the Bible does not allow for divorce hence you think that an abusive relationship is permissible.

TV01:


No one said it's right, or should be condoned. The bible just says it's not grounds for divorce, and forgiveness, healing and reconciliation should be the initial recourse. Or are forgiveness, healing and reconciliatrion against the law grin.

What should happen where there is no reconciliation, remorse or healing?

TV01:


Don't get into a potentially abusive marriage, and if the signs appear, nip them in the bud. If it happens seek remedies quickly. If you choose separation, fine, it does not mean divorce, or pre-suppose re-marriage without one spouse passing away grin. Beautifully simply biblical truth cool.

Do people deliberately get into abusive marriages? How do they prevent getting into abusive marriages?

TV01:


This is not about abuse is it. You wiley ole' divorce campaigner you wink.


TV

Where did I say that I am campaigning for divorce? It is you that I should be accusing of condoning abuse. cool

1 Like

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 1:10pm On Sep 29, 2016
thesicilian:


Unfortunately, I don't know of any, apart from marital infidelity. If its something the church/Christian elders cannot resolve, then its probably better to take a walk until things change for the better.

What is marital infidelity? Is it a biblical ground for divorce? undecided
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 1:13pm On Sep 29, 2016
Ishilove:


Let's not also forget women abuse men too.

Especially emotionally with their persistent nagging. cool
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 1:17pm On Sep 29, 2016
Miladi:


Abuse; either physical or emotional (emotional seems even worse, since it will be hard for the outsiders to notice it least of intervening) should be abhorred by any sane people. So, either separation or outright divorce should be applied, whenever it becomes a regular occurrence - life has no duplicate. relationship/association should be enjoyed not endured.

To the question, when you hear most people say they are divorcing due to some irreconcilable differences, abuse (especially emotional type) is usually that unspoken word.

Emotional abuse in often underrated. It is sometimes worse than physical abuse. cry

2 Likes

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 1:20pm On Sep 29, 2016
crackhaus:


Well, I can't say people who do those things shouldn't go to church, but they definitely shouldn't call themselves Christians.
And don't get it twisted, a lot of people DO NOT pray for forgiveness. They just assume their presence in church automatically cleanses sins. cheesy

Did you know that part of the reason Nigeria is the way it is, has a little something to do with our false sense of religion?
- Politicians do what they want with our collective wealth, but because they go to church on Sundays to give million-naira tithes and donations, they believe all is forgiven.

- The average Nigerian who hates on his/her neighbour, speaks ill of him/her, cheats, envies, fornicates, and basically breaks at least one of the 10 commandments every single day, still assumes Sunday service is enough to cleanse it all.


This is the only reason people can confidently swear an oath that should only be broken by death, and then use all sorts of sentiments to explain why they can't keep the oath—well, news flash: If you can't keep it, don't take it.
The courts and most traditional practices recognize abuse as a very good reason for divorce...so peeps best stick with marrying ONLY within the confines of the law and not the scriptures.

I do not judge though, I just think Christians ought to pick a side.
You are either for God or for the devil, no such thing as one leg in one leg out. gringrin

Right on point. Christianity should not be confused with religion. Most Nigerians are religious. cool
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by Nobody: 1:20pm On Sep 29, 2016
OLAADEGBU:


Especially emotionally with their persistent nagging. cool

Do you think it would be ok for a man to divorce his wife over emotional abuse?
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 1:21pm On Sep 29, 2016
Pandorabox:


Abuse is acceptable cos the wife's life is at stake here.

Did you mean to say "abuse is not acceptable"? undecided
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 1:27pm On Sep 29, 2016
Mindfulness:


I agree and yet think that it's impossible to love yourself and accept abuse in the name of marriage. And for me it is not the one who divorces who broke the covenant but the abuser who promised to love and cherish and what not in the first place. The moment you disrepect your spouse, is the moment when the covenant is broken. Simple logic.

You are either sticking to the vows or you aren't and the vows contain more than just sticking around for the sake of sticking around. wink

The other religion accepts physical abuse of their wives as a way of life and this has filtered down into the Nigerian culture. So called Christians are quick to claim the command of no divorce but they shirk their responsibilities to love and to cherish.

3 Likes

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 1:29pm On Sep 29, 2016
crackhaus:


You're right, both people broke the covenant at the end of the day.

To avoid all that, people should not take the Christian oath—saves each other from arguing about who first broke it. cheesy

The Christian oath commits the husband to keeping the vow to love and the wife to be submissive. If either keeps their own part of the bargain the will be no cause for alarm. smiley
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 1:30pm On Sep 29, 2016
RiloKiley:


Good job, my dear fellow. Good job.

Are you also an abuser? undecided
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by TV01(m): 1:31pm On Sep 29, 2016
RiloKiley:
Good job, my dear fellow. Good job.
Gracias sir..seems he's back for more grin.


TV
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 1:33pm On Sep 29, 2016
RiloKiley:


A man slaps his wife anytime they argue, which is like once a month. Thy have three children. Everything is ok. Is that grounds for divorce?


A woman insults her husband's dead mother anytime there is a misunderstanding. This happens once a month. They have two kids. Everything else is OK. Is that grounds for divorce?



Should it be easy to divorce someone u loved so much that u were willing to spend the rest of your life with them? Doesn't that show you never really loved them but rather loved what they could offer? Doesn't that make u a hypocrite for not even trying for the love u so publicly professed?

You only remember love when the wify is about leaving you. Where was this love when you were busy slapping and abusing each other? undecided

5 Likes

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 1:35pm On Sep 29, 2016
SiestaFiesta:


When people take the oath, they believe that they will stick to it and then life happens. wink

And I won't blame any Christian who believes that adultery can't be the only reason to get divorced. Some people would much rather forgive cheating than abuse and it's understandable. And since the Bible is open to interpretation and has not covered all problems of human experience, people have to seek the answers elsewhere.

Additionally, loving oneself (also in order to be able to love others) is more importnant than a fvcked up marriage:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.

cheesy grin smiley

God commands the husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Is that not more than loving yourself? cool
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 1:38pm On Sep 29, 2016
Jay542:


If she's comfortable with the abuse, she can. If not she can bounce. She's right either ways.

I also learnt that some wives have been brought up in abusive families hence they get used to being abused by their husbands and this is not right especially if they claim to be Christians. No wonder kids of nowadays are discouraged from getting married.

1 Like

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by TV01(m): 1:42pm On Sep 29, 2016
OLAADEGBU:
Would separation not be better than losing your life? What's the use of living with a murderer at the expense of your marriage? undecided
...ah! Sophistry, key tool of blasphemers and divorce campaigners grin. My first response to you on this thread; https://www.nairaland.com/3362781/abuse-acceptable-reason-divorce#49552647 - only now you want to twist "separate" to mean "divorce" right wink. Separate means just that, not divorcdeor dissolution of the union.The bible says marriage is for life. if you can find anything contrary, please share, or explicit reference to dissolution for "abuse", likewise wink.

OLAADEGBU:
I asked you the question. It is not a crime to say 'I do not know.' cool
More sleight of hand; I asked you to buttress your own question, below, with scriptural references - I know the answer cool

OLAADEGBU:
Is there any biblical reason for Christian couples to file for divorce when there is the possibility of 'becoming brutalised or ending up dead'? undecided
...and following, is there any Chriistian writ to marry or conduct marriage with abuse as a subtext undecided?


TV

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