After dating a guy for a long time, you might be eager to drop the highly anticipated L-bomb. When you’re head-over-heels in love with someone, you want to scream it from the rooftops, for goodness sakes! That’s why it can be pretty frustrating when your boyfriend is reluctant to express his feelings of love toward you, no matter how strong your feelings are for him. In fact, you might not even know if he loves you at all!
But just because he isn’t saying those three little words doesn’t mean that his love for you isn’t there. There could be plenty of signs that your guy is digging you just as much as you’re digging him – you just might not be noticing them!

After all, actions speak louder than words, right?

Why Isn’t He Saying It?

Just because a guy doesn’t say it doesn’t mean it’s not true! There could be many things holding your guy back from saying “I love you.” Use this Three signs from hercampus to detect his feeling towards you.

Reason #1: He’s afraid of being rejected
Fear of rejection could be a huge factor in why your significant other isn’t showering you with love. Denise Christopher, a dating and relationship coach and founder of the love and date consulting website denisechristopher.com, says that you shouldn’t worry if your guy hasn’t said “I love you” yet. “Guys are no different than women when it comes to rejection; they too have a great fear of being rejected,” she says.

Let’s face it – dealing with rejection is no fun. No one wants to say “I love you” and not have those same feelings returned. Your boyfriend may be worried that you don’t feel the same way and won’t reciprocate his proclamation of love, which could be a big factor in why he’s holding back.

“I dated my girlfriend for six months before I told her I loved her,” says Scott*, a sophomore at the University of Washington. “I knew I loved her after about three months, but I was so afraid to tell her that I just couldn’t say it. I had no idea if she loved me and I didn’t want to get rejected. That would just be awkward.”

Reason #2: He had a bad past relationship
Unhealthy relationships from the past could also be a contributing factor. “Everyone has emotional baggage, and often deep hurt can effect your guy’s decision to say ‘I love you,’” Christopher says.

A terrible breakup or an unhealthy relationship can really take a toll on someone both mentally and emotionally. If your guy had his heart broken in the past, he may be scared to tell you he loves you in fear that your relationship will have the same heartbreaking ending. Fear of repeating the past can cause a guy to take a step back and assess the relationship to make sure he’s really committed to it before he takes it further.

“My last serious relationship ended really badly, and it was hard to recover from,” says Liam*, a sophomore at Washington State University. “I casually dated a few girls after it, but I never fully committed myself to them because I was always worried that they’d just end up like my last one. Getting your heart broken is no fun, and whenever I get involved with a girl, I always think about that.”

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