reserved111:
We hav been in a distant friendship
Many times she has confessed her love for me.
I hav gone to her villa and her siblings and parents hav known me by now.
She requested to come and visit me
And she has given me d date she will come.

Now from my real purest of thought, I don't think its morally right for a single lady to spend a night at a guys house not to talk of days.

My fear is that if she come we will end up doing at least romance and if I fail to respond to her she may feel I don't like her or dat am not a man.

Dear pals, what is ur suggestions, is it wrong for a single lady to visit a single guy and spend nights
I don't want to do something my mind sees as immoral and I don't want people around to see me as one of the worldly guys.

Note: I have never had sex before and am 33 now. But I hav had romances in d past.

TrapQueen77:



Hahahahahha....



So, ur a certified virgin? ayaaaayaaay! 33 and virgin..

GMbuharii:

whats funny there nah,haba...well hes not the only one in the house...

Op,have you guys discussed deeply,like having a life together,marriage? Those should come 1st.. There are ways you can make her know you really luv her and deepen ur luv for eachother..u can be slightly romantic while avoiding the do.. Where is she coming frm and where are u? @ reserved111

TrapQueen77:





What are u saying? Can't u see they're juz friends? Why do they need to discuss abt marriage?


Nawa for u

cocaineaddict:

was gonna honestly advice u cos I tot u were probably a naive 16yr old novice who's yet to explore the wonderful adventures of boy-girl relationship.

Bros if you're really 33 and putting up dis crap den it means something strange is definitely wrong with your head. U even senior me 4 God's sake tufiakwa

Vorpal:
33? Nature has ran out of patience because of you but has now brought it's force to full bear to make the inevitable happen
Make sure you turn the volume of your sound system up, I don't think it will be pleasant for a man to be making high pitch noises under such circumstances.

Afisbobo:
33 and still a virgin bro timez nt on ur side. Shld be married by now If u lyk her why not take tinz to d next level and if u dont, tell her. She no fit kill u na. 33 virgin and u be guyman omo u try ooo

Xensity:




Views like this, is what's wrong with contemporary society. How is being a virgin at 33 a bad thing? Or how is being single at 33 a pathetic situation, as you are implying? On what basis did you arrive at this fatuous conclusion? The fact that you hold on to a certain shallow view about relationships and sexuality, doesn't mean everyone should subscribe to it.

Not everyone thinks the same way you do. Not everyone reasons the same way you do. Not everyone subscribes to conditioned conventional ideas, like you do. Because an idea is subscribed by the majority, doesn't make it the best, neither should it be forced on the minority.

And how is it your business when anyone decides to have sex? Or at what age he decides to get married?

Xensity:
If a woman sees you as less of a man just because you decide to cling to your moral principles of not having sex with a woman you aren't married to, then it says a lot about her, and the kind of person she is.

You haven't indicated through your post, whether or not you are actually in love with her, or whether you want to eventually get married to her, but whichever it is, I don't think a woman's opinion about your manliness, matters at all in the grand scheme of things. Think about this: If eventually she comes to your house and you tell her that you don't want to have sex with her because of your moral principles, what does it matter? What does one person's opinion of you matter? Is her opinion more important than your principles as a man? Are you going to break your moral codes just because of a person's opinion about you? And you aren't even sure she is going to think such about you, so this might be a case of you jumping into conclusion.

On the issue of self control, if you feel that you won't be able to control yourself if she comes to your house, which is going to lead to you doing something you would regret, then the best advice would be to not allow her come to your house.

But to propose a better compromise, I will say this:
I think humans evolved speech for a reason. Every dilemma we are involved in can be resolved by simple conversation. I think you are too old to be worrying about anyone's opinion about you. Whether or not people would misinterpret your gesture as a sign of immorality shouldn't be your concern.
If you want to accept the lady's request of coming to your house and you don't want to engage in any sexual act with her, or not want to face sexual temptation, then the best thing is to engage in an open end discussion with her about this, when she comes to your house. This would make things easier for you.

Xensity:
If a woman sees you as less of a man just because you decide to cling to your moral principles of not having sex with a woman you aren't married to, then it says a lot about her, and the kind of person she is.

You haven't indicated through your post, whether or not you are actually in love with her, or whether you want to eventually get married to her, but whichever it is, I don't think a woman's opinion about your manliness, matters at all in the grand scheme of things. Think about this: If eventually she comes to your house and you tell her that you don't want to have sex with her because of your moral principles, what does it matter? What does one person's opinion of you matter? Is her opinion more important than your principles as a man? Are you going to break your moral codes just because of a person's opinion about you? And you aren't even sure she is going to think such about you, so this might be a case of you jumping into conclusion.

On the issue of self control, if you feel that you won't be able to control yourself if she comes to your house, which is going to lead to you doing something you would regret, then the best advice would be to not allow her come to your house.

But to propose a better compromise, I will say this:
I think humans evolved speech for a reason. Every dilemma we are involved in can be resolved by simple conversation. I think you are too old to be worrying about anyone's opinion about you. Whether or not people would misinterpret your gesture as a sign of immorality shouldn't be your concern.
If you want to accept the lady's request of coming to your house and you don't want to engage in any sexual act with her, or not want to face sexual temptation, then the best thing is to engage in an open end discussion with her about this, when she comes to your house. This would make things easier for you.

Xensity:
If a woman sees you as less of a man just because you decide to cling to your moral principles of not having sex with a woman you aren't married to, then it says a lot about her, and the kind of person she is.

You haven't indicated through your post, whether or not you are actually in love with her, or whether you want to eventually get married to her, but whichever it is, I don't think a woman's opinion about your manliness, matters at all in the grand scheme of things. Think about this: If eventually she comes to your house and you tell her that you don't want to have sex with her because of your moral principles, what does it matter? What does one person's opinion of you matter? Is her opinion more important than your principles as a man? Are you going to break your moral codes just because of a person's opinion about you? And you aren't even sure she is going to think such about you, so this might be a case of you jumping into conclusion.

On the issue of self control, if you feel that you won't be able to control yourself if she comes to your house, which is going to lead to you doing something you would regret, then the best advice would be to not allow her come to your house.

But to propose a better compromise, I will say this:
I think humans evolved speech for a reason. Every dilemma we are involved in can be resolved by simple conversation. I think you are too old to be worrying about anyone's opinion about you. Whether or not people would misinterpret your gesture as a sign of immorality shouldn't be your concern.
If you want to accept the lady's request of coming to your house and you don't want to engage in any sexual act with her, or not want to face sexual temptation, then the best thing is to engage in an open end discussion with her about this, when she comes to your house. This would make things easier for you.

reserved111:
We hav been in a distant friendship
Many times she has confessed her love for me.
I hav gone to her villa and her siblings and parents hav known me by now.
She requested to come and visit me
And she has given me d date she will come.

Now from my real purest of thought, I don't think its morally right for a single lady to spend a night at a guys house not to talk of days.

My fear is that if she come we will end up doing at least romance and if I fail to respond to her she may feel I don't like her or dat am not a man.

Dear pals, what is ur suggestions, is it wrong for a single lady to visit a single guy and spend nights
I don't want to do something my mind sees as immoral and I don't want people around to see me as one of the worldly guys.

Note: I have never had sex before and am 33 now. But I hav had romances in d past.

spartan50:
Well I think you should not allow her come cos you would be tempted to do her. So avoid am no let 13 minutes ruin you.

Xensity:






Views like this, is what's wrong with contemporary society. How is being a virgin at 33 a bad thing? Or how is being single at 33 a pathetic situation, as you are implying? On what basis did you arrive at this fatuous conclusion? The fact that you hold on to a certain shallow view about relationships and sexuality, doesn't mean everyone should subscribe to it.

Not everyone thinks the same way you do. Not everyone reasons the same way you do. Not everyone subscribes to conditioned conventional ideas, like you do. Because an idea is subscribed by the majority, doesn't make it the best, neither should it be forced on the minority.

And how is it your business when anyone decides to have sex? Or at what age he decides to get married?

ITbomb:
I don't understand
You no wan do?

cocaineaddict:

their is absolutely nothing wrong in being a virgin at 33, the absurd phenomenon here is seeing a 33 year old adult come to an open forum asking if he should touch a girl visitor or not. If you see nothing wrong with that then you yourself suffer from the same strange ailment as he is.

Xensity:


First of all, it's there, and not their.

Secondly, I really don't see anything wrong with someone seeking people's opinion on an issue bothering him. That's the essence of an anonymous forum like this. You might see his question as naive, but he doesn't, and there are other people who don't. And in my opinion, the question isn't fatuous as you are making it seem, and I don't see anything wrong with it.
And if common sense is an ailment, then I'll gladly suffer it. And I earnestly hope you contract it.

tee59:
Don't mind dose pple abusing u here. Ur kind of a guy is rear to com by dis days. Ur decision to stay virgin to dis age is not so easy if not 4 d grace of God. Tell her b4 comn dat she wil not slip over or u let her be wt any of ur sis if at all u av. U pple can b 2geda in d day, av fun & all dat but at nite, let her be wit ur sis or a female friend who can undastand u. Dnt let d enjoyment of som minutes turn ur back against ur creator. U kno devil is always lookn 4 ways of stopn ur blessings. If she agrees & if not, just be wise.

cocaineaddict:

the fact that you've still refused seeing what's wrong in that dude's post means your archaic and myopic reasoning is way much worse and severe than I thought.

grayht:
So na 13minutes the guy dey last?