Now; let's make something clear here. Every woman is fine (bla bla; that shit ain't what I'm talking about in this story).

Pretty in this story refers to mami water kinda pretty. Like; she who enters a room and every straight nigger freezes and stares...and any nigger who doesn't stare for 60 seconds straight (or more) na homo (no two ways about it - sometimes sef homo dey stare join).
This story is not about an anyhow kinda fine girl. It's a story of a babe that nearly destroyed me...ten over ten babe; fine scatter kinda bezzle
YoU dig?

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One; let me not form shit. The day I saw her I frooze, I stared, and I didn't make a move...well I finally did, but that move sef (una go find out about it soon sha)
I dey mad?

Make a move on her? My liver cut me like mad na.
To make a move on that babe, mehn, you must have to get high on crack, then come smoke like five long wraps of ganja, drink a crate of henekein then come top am like ten spoons of codeine.

Okay; let me not start sounding like a chicken now. As I dey type this story lever is cutting me at the memory.
I met her at Shoprite Enugu (Gad bless shoprite, they can know how to attract fine gehs).
It was on a monday (I remember clearly because I had gone to see a movie - 300 part 2. Mehn, una don watch that movie? Tight die. Chisos)

Back to the story
She was sitting alone (For that place near that mechanical staircase - the one that slides na, wetin be the name sef) eating snacks and taking one shitty drink that looks like some low sugar nonsense all this ajibo girls take.

Now I'm serious; this ain't an exaggeration. Every single modafucker there was staring at the babe. Even girls sef. Like; mehn - that babe didn't look real. Fine anyhow like say it's her right.

One thing about extremely pretty ladies is this; guys rarely hit on them. Only the men with the biggest morale make a move and mehn, they few o.

Let me not claim wetin I no be - I don't have that kinda morale abeg. But that babe mehn; I fell in love. It wasn't just about her looks. There was something else; the way she acted like she didn't know she was pretty. .

As dudes dey look am, the same dudes kwa were watching to see the nigger who will make a move.

My dear annoying mind voice stirred:
"Dude". It said lazily. "I know what you are thinking. Don't even try it. That babe fine, your face dey like shit. Na only you waka come?"
"It's not by face". I thought back at the voice.
"Yeah". The voice said. "Money follow; you broke die. Swag and freshness follow - for where. You don't get it".
I ignored the voice. Mehn, if I move na enough rep o. Shit!
"But if you move kwa". My mind voice said. "And she falls your hand - over 50 people go laugh at you"

Zam - i shut down my brain, stood up and started walking towards her.

To be continued...

Mtchewwwwwwwww

Oboy, coma finish this your ghanian love story

Berlynn:

Hi, are you not the same girl who deactivated some time back.....You're obviously back....Nairaland is really addictive

GETTING A PRETTY BABE EPISODE II...

scroll up for episode 1

Where did I stop?

*goes back to part 1, sees it and returns*
So I stood up and started walking towards her, feeling my heart beating like it wants to tear out of my chest.
I reached her table, slowed down and...
For where..
I passed her table jare.

Like, the liver failure was super massive.
Chisos, I breathed, what were you planing to do...hit on that babe? You dey mad?

I continued walking, forming like say na comot I been dey comot.
I reached the door, paused then turned round. Almost on cue, the babe stood up.
That fast?, thought she was taking snacks. I glanced at the table; she had finished. Had been staring at her and hadn't noticed it.

Vam - she stared walking towards where I was. I removed my phone, stood aside, dialled MTN customer care and started listening to the "please press 1" babe.
She passed.

Guy, I thought, if this babe comot here and you no make move you be serious jonsing man.

I ended the mumu call and zam - I walked towards her, blacking out my thoughts.
Don't think, I muttered under my breathe, don't think. Just do it.

I reached her.
she was about to open and enter one clean Veinza (Mehn, she carry car. If this babe fall I don hamma o)

"Hi". (Never introduce yourself at first; she doesn't give a shit about your name. Nobody does, if you start with it she would probably not remember it at the end of the discussion. Plus not saying your name gives you an air of mystery - it's sexy)

She turned and looked at me.

I kept my face blank; expressionless (First rule of hitting on a pretty babe - never appear too excited and go smiling around like a chicken)

She raised an eyebrow a bit coldly; like - dude just get over this stuff so I will slam you and we go our separate ways.

(Next rule about pretty girls; never compliment her looks - she hears that all the time. Two; start small...don't rush, be indirect. Three; be f-ing confident - or fake it and fake it well)

I allowed a slight smile to cross my face (Remember; act cool. Don't go and start acting like you are so happy to meet her)

"I know what you are expecting" I began in drawl (my voice and face looked calm but tsunami was going on inside me). "The you-are-so-beautiful line and stuff, you hear that all the time. Don't worry. I won't bore you with that"

I paused.

She still no talk. Just stared.

Gbam gbam, my heart beat.

"For one, I think you are really good-looking. You look pretty smart too and that's the part I'm interested in - the smart part"

"Hey, I don't have all day". She said.

I stared her down, a "babe you don't talk to me in that way" look then nodded slightly.

"I need your help with a project I'm working on"
She didn't expect that and it showed on her face. For a moment she relaxed a bit (You can never get a girl who dey defence, diffuse her defence first)

"I'm currently working on a book". I continued. "it's a book on seduction - how to make a girl trip and all that. Something like Robert green's art of seduction, have you read it?"

She smiled and nodded.

She smiled, I screamed inside, she smiled oooo. She loves books. That's good, at least that's something we share in common - nice.

"That's the kinda stuff I'm working on". I continued. "But more of a street kinda informal type for just guys; you are beautiful and you get hit on by guys all the time (indirect compliment), all I want from you is, how would I put it, greatest flops dudes make when they hit on you and what they should have done" (diffusing element, to make her not feel I was chyking her and take make her take up her defences again)

One; if I hear say I dey work on any book anything.

Two; that was the only way I was going to get her number

Three; the main seduction comes after - not on that first day you meet her. The first day is to set up a rapport; then seduce her later.

*back to the story*

She smiled.
"Interesting. Alright, No problem". She rested on her car. "Let's start then. Ask your questions"

I paused; na here the risk come dey. Ask wetin? Na your number I want jare.

"We can't exhaust the questions here. You are on BBM abi?" (Notice the question - directly saying "can you give me your BBM pin" gives her the chance to say an outright no, best thing - ask am the one she go first say yes to)

She nodded a yes.

"Awesome". I said. "Give me your BBM pin. We will fix an online interview session or something".

She hesitated.

I smiled.

"Don't worry" I said, with a straight face. "I'm not interested in you in that way so you are safe, I won't bore you with silly messages" (Another diffusing massage)
She relaxed. Gave me her BBM pin, we said byes and she got into her car (after I don confirm say the shit na really her pin - girls can be funny at times).

As she drove off, I smiled. Na when she go far small she will realize I didn't tell her my name - mystery
Now l have her contact; let the seduction begin.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Berlynn:

Why would I .....I only remembered a comment made by someone on that thread, saying nairaland is addictive

Nice One broda..

Hmm Brotherly

Lolssss. Dude's funny