Now this review is kind of long, but i assure you its well written, comprehensive and entertaining. so if you didnt go for the show just read it and you'll get a feel of what you missed, if you went, read it to see if you have a difference of opinions with me. anyway just read it, its entertainign at the very least.

okay, this year i'm spending xmas away from home(asaba). thats because my 2 sisters both got married this december and i just can't stand to do the 6 hour journey from lagos to asaba a third time so i decided to hang out with my newly wedded sis and her husband. (i aint a spoil sport, they asked me to stay plus its a large house so they still got room for whatever, whenever, you get what i mean. )

anyways i got to teasing them about having become their parents,  all serious, money talking and land buying adults when i knew them less than 3 years ago in school as suya eating club hopping types, so i was entrusted with the task of picking one of the many shows being organized in lagos  and thanks to silverbirds aggresive marketing( they own the station, what you expect) i chose rhythm unplugged for us to attend. plus in the tv commercials i saw lots of flesh baring , butt shaking girls doing their thang, and seriously, you can never go wrong with half naked twitching asses. lol.
i'm sorry, on to the review. anyway we got there at 7 on the dot as advertised on the nicely printed 3k admission tickets and went through the whole admission process which included the putting on of the one wear adhesive identification wristwear and then a bunch of scantily clad christmas gear wearing playboy bunny looking hotties accosted me and i was tagged with a translucent thingy. funny i didnt see any of the girls faces, i was too busy looking elsewhere(hint on how scantily clad they were. )

anyways we got to the venue deep within the hotel in a courtyard thingy, place was well arranged, white seats directly in front of and aroung a well arranged stage with usual deckings of promoters banners, mtn, macleans, guiness blah blah blah. suya man smoking up a storm at the back, drums of drinks ranging from smirnoff ice to water.
we sit and wait for two hours and show starts at nine , two hours later with the rhythm unplugged soundtrack and a bevy of dancing beauties, which i missed because my brother and his seriously underaged date appeared on the scene and asked me to come get them at the gates , just my luck. anyway i get back just in time to miss them so you realise how peeved i am at this point. but everything went uphill from there.

the show started with 5 finalists of the rhythm unplugged talent hunt auditions. the first guy a strong voiced ghetto soldier with enough talent to make him the next african china. next up an absolutely talentless decked in red mediocre rapper with absolutely no skill, hardcore or commercial, the guy was a dud. next up was a really talented guitar player but you know how nigerians are, classic works but we love head bobbing. next up was a sweet toned usher dancing like youngster with an easily identifiable commercial hit track if properly produced "if na me". sang well, stage performance beautiful and the crown loved his dancing but to me he had just enough touch of feminity in his moves for me to actually question his sexual preference, but hey, he was singing about chicks , so whatever. last up was a young man singing a yoruba flavoured xmas themed song keresimesi, hope i spelled that well, yoruba peeps forgive me. he was great, would make a perfect addition for the olorioko singing infiniti, he sang that way. anyways the crowd goes wild for everyone xcept for the red wearing twit but time for voting and the usher guy wins, a recording contract with ojb as producer and promised massive airplay of tracks and videos on stv radio and tv. he gives props to his mum and the crowd goes wild when she stands up,,dude i swear i was checking out this babe when i came in, she was that hot and trust wildchild of rhythm 97 to hit on her.

then the show begins and the anchors okey bakassi and julius agwu are simply spectacular, easily complimenting each other and feeding off each others jokes and punchlines. their mceeing alone was worth at least 1k of the ticket price. then they begin announcing celebrities , musician and comedian interchangeably. now i can't remeber the exact sequence so i'll just give my impressions on the noteworthy ones.

Omo baba starts and is absolutely loveable from opening tag line "sexy nigga, fine boy" to his last joke about oasanjo. he was awesome

Teju Baby Face: the list of clebrities were a mile long so each was was allowed a few jokes or a couple of songs. Teju baby face was great, i think i loved his jokes best, Asa came on and put on an a passion filled performance, sadly of her only hit track Aya dara if i spell right, i think shes great but she needs to work on her music. eryka badu wasnt made on just "on and on" or tracy chapman on "what's the song again?". aya dara can only get her that far before people get bored.

SID comes on stage and mouths off to his cd with full vocals playing in the backgroiund so its hard to appraise his true talent level or stage representation. his songs were dipped in vulgarity and one had serious sampling of Dbanj's trademark  lingo "long thang" and "the koko" which was in my opinion a minus for him. he struck me as not being different from the average wannabe on the street only that he had more connections and money to get him great beats. he had to soften the crowds reaction by first mentioning that he was a trybesman albeit unknown. but thats debatable. he didnt leave either until he let us know he was justus esiri's son. fine. can you sing?

infiniti comes on next and render a truly brilliant  live performance of their hit track olorioko. you could actually hear them singing with just instrumentals playing in the background and this helps reaffirm my earlier conclusion that these dudes are talented. the crowd visibly enjoys their performance as indicated by heavy singalongs and concluding applauses. serious contender for performance of the night.

obiwon comes next all decked in white, dancing too v igorously as usual and performs get em off me and onyinye. he is however unable to say the entire chorus of get em off me in one breath as is erroneously portrayed in the audio and video versions. a minus for him. okay performance

other comedians come on including AY and some others but i'm not a huge comedy fan so i'll say great jokes were told although basketmouth come on unprepared , sweating, panting and in a general state of "dishevellment" and then insults us by trying to pass it off as part of the act. great jokes anyway, as usual and didnt fail to promote his own show on boxing.

back to music. African China comes on and does his thang by performing his two hit tracks mr president and the one about the job and laughter thing. great performance but he kept referring to his attempted rape incident in london that made people start to question his innocence. but it was all good, he is truly one talented musician , makes me wonder how he was beaten by marvellous benjy for best reggae at the HHW awards, well i guess we should thank the long hand of kennis music for that.

tosin martins comes on and performs his olo umi track and that gets my sister a trite excited considering the song was her weddings theme song. great performance.

Niyola comes on, an artist previously unknown to me but blows me away, the crowd doesnt really feel her, as is normal with female R' and B singers but you can see real talent there, plus shes got a great frame, sexy sized waist and a washboard tummy. seriously had me "junior adjusting" with her dance rhythms.

Kafee comes on with her team of guiness book of world record winning partners and entertains with great dance sequences most notable being a sequence where the guys grab the girls tits from behind and the girls feign anger. i wonder what got my attention in the move,  which reminds me , i hear a titty bar is opening in lagos this christmas i'e strip joint but its exclusive membership and not just walk in  off the street entertainment. guess that should have to do with the legality of strip clubs in naija. but i'd love to be an exclusive member if you get my drift so anyone with details please let me know ok.

and then the heavies start to come on.Danfo driveres come on and rip the crowd apart with earth shattering stage performances of danfo driver and kpologo. serious contenders for performance of the night.

next is the sauce kid. now i don't know why i'm mentioning him as part of the heavies but he came after mountain black and mad mellon so i guess someone considers him a heavy. not me though. i finally catch the twit in a live performance. he comes on with a group of trouser on the hip wearing chain decked back up show me love and mad props type figures. he gives a nice freestyle at the beginning and well a passable performance of his ye ba ri ba song. now the guy is good but with his nigerian wannabe version of commercial rap, he should please stop making challenges at modenine and gino for king of rap in naija. this cat is anything but hardcore and true kings anywhere in the world are hardcore, true to the game. case in point talib kweli and nas. so sauce kid , shut up already get paid and leave greatness to kings.

Ashionye of Orangootan comes on and performs her hit track "party tonight". nothing spectacular except for the figure hugging, great legs revealing dress she was wearing. that girl was definitely eye candy. i'd have enjoyed her performance if she came and stood on the stage without making a sound for all of the 7 minutes she spent on stage.

next up, the surprise artist is announced and who comes walking through the crowd and passes right by me but the king himself lagbaja. definitely taller than i thought. and brave too as we had groupies touching him along the length of his frame and giggling to themselves. Girlssss. his performance is great as can be expected and he performs "so far away" with ego live onstage. he ends it by inviting us all to egos graduation party at motherland next week. i'm guessing theres a gate fee, hence the open invite.

Tony tetuila is next and does two tracks , always reiterating that he is a free soldier with no commitments. conspiracy theorist that i am ,i'm guessing it was a subliminal jibe at the primetime brothers keke and D1 who were in the audience. whatever. the crowd slams and he leaves a happy man. another conquest over the primetime brothers.

how could i forget., blackky. he perfoms  first, definitely not a heavy. he was first start performer. he starts with his latest track delilah but the crowd aint feeling him and so he brings out his overused ace, his hit tracks of almost ten years which unfortunately he has failed to replicate in more recent years.blackkys skank, bang belly, rosie etc and the crowd goes wild. i'll give it to him the dude knows how to work a crowd but serious, he needs to give it up as a singer and remain known as a pioneer and legend rather than as a failed comeback kid.

now back to the heavies. OJB one of the true talents and powerhouses behind the advance of nigerian music and the most underated talent in naija comes on and acts like he's in a hurry. he performs searching and hurries offstage like he had some head giving groupie offstage somewhere.

and then kemistry , the not too attrractive radio dj/singer of rhythm 97 comes on and is fitting announcer to the best thing in naija hip hop the ninestine himself, aka modenizzy aka modenine. he enters to the theme song of kings, jay z's encore and delivers his bars and punchlines as usual. he does lagos state of mind but not without first playing the song he sampled the beats from, i think it was a track by ebenezar obey, i was too enthralled with his commanding stage prescence to pay attention. then he does cry with nnena live on stage, performer that he is. sadly the crowd doesnt feel him as such, though they are excited at cry. a few true hip hop heads can be seen though, yours truly inclusive, singing and generally feeling him. he does one of his new tracks and exits. i love that guy.

Naija ninja , sound sultan comes on and does his thing, "singing back in the days" and "motherland". the crowd loves him and sing along with him line for line beginning to the end. another true talent

the king of pop in naija and africa is next, the greatest himself 2face Idibia and he is stunning in his performance of his new tracks from grass to grace. not everyone knows the wordings but you can feed off the love flowing from the crowd to this our son that has done us proud. this guy is too good for kennis. i keep saying it. though i'm not so naive as to overlook the fact that their marketing has contributed to his commercial success. he is given about 5 times the time allocated to other artists, well done kennis music, and every second is worth it. he leaves "for instance" till the end and begins it with a long acapella diatribe , a perfect showcase of his unquestionable vocal abilities. The crowd goes insane and sing with him, it obvious. WE LOVE THIS GUY.

Rugged man is next and he enters to the soundtrack of rugeddy baba but doesnt perform it just yet. his short skirt wearing black undies showing dancers have boys feigning dropping their phones just to get a glimpse of you know what. a flash of black , sometimes i wonder the thing that drives us. he gives a nice performance and then he drops rugeddy baba and the crowd goes wild. but his performance makes me realise than the song's merits are really the chorus handled  by watchout kid 9ice and not necessarily ruggeds lyrical ability. he turns off the music and asks to do the third verse acapella. he makes us listen to his gripes and arguments about keeping it real and at a point he asks the crowd whats the definition of keeping it real, it took the man in me to keep from screaming "MODENINE" but i didnt want to open that can of worms, plus the crowd was feeling him too much and i was acting the gentleman trying to impress this incredibly leggy chick sitting next to me. so he is spared that embarassment of arguing with a hardcore modenine fan and i come off as a responsible guy doing his service in lagos, which eventually earns me a phone number, a date and an incredibly warm hug. like 4 hours later, but who cares, everyones happy.

jazzman olofin comes on and does his thing. his dancers give him a stiff competition for crowd attention but he comes off as truly entertaining and talented. a true heavy.

and lastly like the organisers knew what they were doing p-square are the last to perform. people slept during ruggedman and 2faces performance, but oh my God, the crowd was alive when the twins who are "one no be two" appeared onstage. you could feel the electricity building up. technical hitches helped to murk their peerformance though as they had just got the crowd to the peak of the fever , the high point before the fall when their mics went dead. it happened twice which had people screaming murder and threating mass action. but eventually they did great and stole the show. Perfomance was definitely the performance of the night.

for 3k , the show  was a steal , plus the eye candy there "na fire". leggy and chesty gals everywhere , brown skinned girls aplenty, kids of responsible parentage, the crowd was massively civilized. no fights no stolen phones no attempted gropings, it was a great show that had people wanting to pay an extra 2k at least. if you missed it, cop the vcd and make sure you attend next years own.

downside: i spent 300 naira on a medium sized bottle of water. that leaves you guessing how much i spent on my two bottles of smirnoff ice and suya. you'd kill me if i said. my big boy moves on the leggy chick better pay off, or else

Man ths show (From how you described it) is worth every single kobo

I love the way you desribed the events while reading it was as if I was there

and You got the Keresi Part (So no fear)

Your review was good.I could envision the events,nice write-up.It seems you got ur money's worth.