Is it ok for me to cringe when my boyfriend brings up marriage and kids in the future. Its just that i dont see my self as a family person, i love kids in fact im going to be a pediatrician (odd i know). I love him, im not looking else where but i dont want him be that serious. Most girls i know want their boyfriends to look at them as potential wives but i dont like it.

let me make it easy for you
U ARE NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE

well, seems u just aint ready. Just don't jump at it if u dont feel good about it.

I av similar challenge.My girl friend is 7yrs yonger than me&she says i must wait for another 6yrs to get married 2her.But we've reached an agreement to wait 3 instead of 6yrs.So sit/reach an agreement,if u truly love d guy

I av similar challenge.My girl friend is 7yrs yonger than me&she says i must wait for another 6yrs to get married 2her.But we've reached an agreement to wait 3 instead of 6yrs.So sit/reach an agreement,if u truly love d guy,

Then tell him and dont waste his time or shake it off by taking time off and i am sure, if you see him as the one, you might change your mind.

good luck

toba:

I av similar challenge.My girl friend is 7yrs yonger than me&she says i must wait for another 6yrs to get married 2her.But we've reached an agreement to wait 3 instead of 6yrs.So sit/reach an agreement,if u truly love d guy,

7 years younger?
she will be calling you brother then, or even uncle

well, for the greater good at times it necessary to break off. A month ago i just broke out of a good relationship though i enjoyed every moment but some inevitable issues de barred me!

denony:

7 years younger?
she will be calling you brother then, or even uncle

uncalled for.
That wasnt funny at all, or maybe i just forgot to laff.

@denony.What do u mean she would be calling u uncle/bro? Havent u seen over 10years age difference in ralationship/marriages b4? Guy its not funny at all,its a serious issue we discussing here.

Là Topik,
sommetimes, it culd as well be abnormal,

women will always ask for more, its in their nature. There's nothing you can do to please them enough.
I sympathize with the poor guy. And the worst part of this, is that the girl will never tell this guy her fears. She will lead him on till she breaks him.The things women do!

I agree with the pple who feel you're not ready for marriage. It's not abnormal to feel that way. You're not ready, period! Let him know though, so he doesn't feel you've been leading him on when he eventually realises your heart isn't in it. It's either you're not ready or he's not the one for you. Make up your mind and let him know. Good luck.

@poster,
I guess you are a female between the ages of 18 and 23, have lived or mingled in a culture that is not yours, things going well with you and it likely you are also a pretty girl. You will agree with that 85% of other girls in your category feels same way too. Otherwise, when you will have reached like 27, 28, or 30years and probably have had good times and bad times of the intricacies invovled in jumping around with different men in the course of a relationship and tasting all the waters, you will definitely appreciate the fact that a man you love so much and have enjoyed good relationship with finally have asked for your hand in marriage! You are not ready for now marriage simple! Wondering what you are waiting for. All the same best of luck, a little wait you mght hit it off with a bigger boy, u never know!

then it simply means that u dont love the guy because if u do u ll not hesitate to jump at his offer. ll advise u to think about it and not to jump into conclusions cos i ve seen girls who postpone their marriages under the pretense of still being in school or not ready lose their guys and end up being desperate and searching

Lolladey:

then it simply means that u dont love the guy because if u do u ll not hesitate to jump at his offer. ll advise u to think about it and not to jump into conclusions cos i ve seen girls who postpone their marriages under the pretense of still being in school or not ready lose their guys and end up being desperate and searching

you are right, most of them don't love the guy enough to get married to him

Because you are brave enough to seek advice here, I will advice you to tell him now that you dont like to be a family person. I might be wrong but I did not see you as sopmeone who love kids as claimed. Please tell him to look further. kindly take all responses her with good faith and pick the one that best suit your thoughts.(because you alone really know what you want)

macfarland:

@poster,
I guess you are a female between the ages of 18 and 23, have lived or mingled in a culture that is not yours, things going well with you and it likely you are also a pretty girl. You will agree with that 85% of other girls in your category feels same way too. Otherwise, when you will have reached like 27, 28, or 30years and probably have had good times and bad times of the intricacies invovled in jumping around with different men in the course of a relationship and tasting all the waters, you will definitely appreciate the fact that a man you love so much and have enjoyed good relationship with finally have asked for your hand in marriage! You are not ready for now marriage simple! Wondering what you are waiting for. All the same best of luck, a little wait you mght hit it off with a bigger boy, u never know!

Well Im 27 and I feel the exact same way as the poster. In fact at 23 I so felt like I was ready to do the whole marriage thing, but it left me after a while and right now, I want to travel the world and see places and people. I feel some people are just not cut out for the whole family-scene thing even if as a woman, she might love children.
My folks always say the most important thing for any human being is to have genuine friends and strive to be happy. So getting married shouldnt be the ultimate goal for anyone. Theres more to life.
Each person has their path to follow and its never the same as the other person's path.
@Poster, Ive got a friend who's 32 and she's a pediatrician too. She loves her job and as of today is not in any mood to talk about getting married. So its not abnormal. You might even wake up in 4 yrs and decide you are ready. Or you may never want to. Theres nothing abnormal about it.
In the meantime though, dont lead a man on. Let him off.

^^^


Very good advice.

denony:

7 years younger?
she will be calling you brother then, or even uncle     

Slighly off-topic; the poster has a point - taking into account our culture if the gap is too wide you would end up with someone who will kneeling down to greet you in the morning and calling you 'sa'. 

macfarland:

@poster,
I guess you are a female between the ages of 18 and 23, have lived or mingled in a culture that is not yours, things going well with you and it likely you are also a pretty girl. You will agree with that 85% of other girls in your category feels same way too. Otherwise, when you will have reached like 27, 28, or 30years and probably have had good times and bad times of the intricacies invovled in jumping around with different men in the course of a relationship and tasting all the waters, you will definitely appreciate the fact that a man you love so much and have enjoyed good relationship with finally have asked for your hand in marriage! You are not ready for now marriage simple! Wondering what you are waiting for. All the same best of luck, a little wait you mght hit it off with a bigger boy, u never know!

yes you are right im 22 but the guy is only 25 three years age difference not much.And i do feel 30 or older is the right age for me to consider marriage. He thinks im crazy to wait that long, but i love him. Who knows if we will even last that long so i just want to make sure its the right time and age for me.

toba:

I av similar challenge.My girl friend is 7yrs yonger than me&she says i must wait for another 6yrs to get married 2her.But we've reached an agreement to wait 3 instead of 6yrs.So sit/reach an agreement,if u truly love d guy,

I do love him, i dont see why everyone is making a big deal about your age gap my parents are 11 years apart and are still together. Im glad you guys were able to compromise. My bf and i are only 3 years apart but i love him the same. I just wish i can tell him my feelings, i dont know if he would leave if he knew my feelings about this whole marriage thing

Rosabelle:

Well Im 27 and I feel the exact same way as the poster. In fact at 23 I so felt like I was ready to do the whole marriage thing, but it left me after a while and right now, I want to travel the world and see places and people. I feel some people are just not cut out for the whole family-scene thing even if as a woman, she might love children.
My folks always say the most important thing for any human being is to have genuine friends and strive to be happy. So getting married shouldnt be the ultimate goal for anyone. Theres more to life.
Each person has their path to follow and its never the same as the other person's path.
@Poster, Ive got a friend who's 32 and she's a pediatrician too. She loves her job and as of today is not in any mood to talk about getting married. So its not abnormal. You might even wake up in 4 yrs and decide you are ready. Or you may never want to. Theres nothing abnormal about it.
In the meantime though, dont lead a man on. Let him off.

Thank you for your advice, ill think about it. i just dont want to end a good thing, without knowing for sure its not going to work

You want enjoy the benefits of marriage but you don't want it legal!

@poster, You enjoy the shagging but donnot want commitment. It should be vice vesa. U guyz are young and i doubt u guyz are ready to raise a family. But when u start approaching your 30, nobody will tell you 2 get married, infact u would force ur self to be

Poster:
You are suffering from "not being appreciative of having it good and not counting God's blessings for giving you someone that wants to marry you." Maybe when you leave him and  date a string of losers who only want to chop you without commitment, and you are growing old and lonely  and can't find a comparable man to your current man who wants to wife you, and another woman has taken over your current man and bore his kids, then you will be appreciative if you ever find another good man again. And YOU MAY NEVER find another one as good as him.

Princek12:

Poster:
You are suffering from "not being appreciative of having it good and not counting God's blessings for giving you someone that wants to marry you." Maybe when you leave him and date a string of losers who only want to chop you without commitment, and you are growing old and lonely and can't find a comparable man to your current man who wants to wife you, and another woman has taken over your current man and bore his kids, then you will be appreciative if you ever find another good man again. And YOU MAY NEVER find another one as good as him.

Ouch!!

All these everybody must not have a family stuff girls are preaching with example are ridiculous.

Go into the lives of those who do not have kids and they do not have any partners when they are above 40 and then come back tell us.

Culture might affect some minds but it does not change nature forget about the society!

@agnes, hw would a r/ship b normal and any normal person would want out?

may be ure abnormal. sorry bt truth hurts!

I am not selfish, at least i dont feel that way. Im not cheating on my bf or tryiing to leave him i just dont feel like getting married. He didnt ask me to marry him, he just talks about it more now than ever( maybe his family is influencing him).  Im going to be 23 the end of this year and finishing my first degree. I just feel too young to be in this predicament. Here in the States i know people who get married at 40 to their one true love after being married and divorced early in their 20s. I dont want to rush into something and then end up in a divorce because that is the thread now.

Rosabelle:

Well Im 27 and I feel the exact same way as the poster. In fact at 23 I so felt like I was ready to do the whole marriage thing, but it left me after a while and right now, I want to travel the world and see places and people. I feel some people are just not cut out for the whole family-scene thing even if as a woman, she might love children.
My folks always say the most important thing for any human being is to have genuine friends and strive to be happy. So getting married shouldnt be the ultimate goal for anyone. Theres more to life.
Each person has their path to follow and its never the same as the other person's path.
@Poster, Ive got a friend who's 32 and she's a pediatrician too. She loves her job and as of today is not in any mood to talk about getting married. So its not abnormal. You might even wake up in 4 yrs and decide you are ready. Or you may never want to. Theres nothing abnormal about it.
In the meantime though, dont lead a man on. Let him off.

It's very interesting to note a pattern, a girl can choose to live her life, and the man cannot do the same. If what you wrong up there were to come from a man, critism will arise, ha, you have used and dump her, ha, you are a bad man, so why go near her, when you know you don't want to marry her,

Anyways. I believe in one simple thing, life is all about choice, but never use fear to guide your decision, rather bravery, and hope to achieve your desires. Be yourself, that's the point, we are all wired differently, so I see no reason why anyone should be compared to any other person.