Chike Chiejina

This is what a guy wrote to a systems analyst

(Marriage Software Division):



Dear Systems Analyst,


I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my

program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that

the new program began unexpected Child Processing and

also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.



This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In

addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other

programs and launches during systems initialization

and then it monitors all other system activities.



Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5" and "Golf

5.3" no longer run, and crashes the system whenever

selected. Attempting to operate selected "Saturday

Rugby 6.3" always fails and "Saturday Shopping 7.1"

runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background

whilst attempting to run any of my favorite

applications. Be it online or offline.



I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0", but

uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please

help?



, AND THIS IS WHAT OUR ANALYST SAID:



Dear Customer,



This is a very common problem resulting from a basic

misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0

program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to

Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY

AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.

Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by

its Creator to run everything on your current

platform.



You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and

still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was

not designed to do this and it is impossible to

uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the

System once it is installed.



Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or

Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems.

(See manual under Alimony/Child Support and

Solicitors' Fees).



Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it

Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as

you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever

you think has caused them, you must run the,

C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid

attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the

entire system.



It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE

ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the

operating system will return to normal.



Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme,

can be very rewarding.

To get the most out of it, consider buying additional

Software such as "Flowers 2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or

"HUGS\ KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING

1000.0" or even Eating out without the Kids 7.2.1" (if

Child processing has already started).



DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary 2.1"

(Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand 3.2" (Any

Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application

for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly

CRASH.



BEST WISHES!



Yours,

Systems Analyst

Wow! This is really cool.

. . . made me smile.

Very nice stuff!!!
Couldn't stop smiling. . . .