I'm loosing my mind, please advice me.

I have been dating my Babe for some times now, she loves me so much and I do too, its just that l told her that l'm not ready for a very serious relationship because of some things I am involved in and she understands. But we have been dating and enjoying the relationship, she always confess her fear of loosing me to me, since I told her its not a very serious relationship. This babe loves me so much and we stay in different states, she travels down to spend time with me most times.

Recently, through some calculations, I found out that she has been cheating on me with someone who is around her, and I got a screenshot that explained her reason for doing it. In the chat, she told the person that since I am not ready to be really serious, she cant put her whole commitment on the line and then get to lose at the end of the day since our relationship is 50:50, so she is flexing with someone else and the guy is her plan B in case I disappoint in the end, and since ours is not serious, that l might even be into another girl where I am
The crazy thing is that my Babe spends realy much on me and call me everyday that she loves and cherish me which she proves a lot.
I have refused to speak with her since I got to know because I am still pained, why will that reason (not ready to be serious) justify her reason for cheating even when she confessed that she loves me, and I really love her too.

What do you advice guys, because I want to face her soon.

seriously, no insult intended you are a "problem" to the relationship.

You don't tell a lady such and expect her to be with yiu alone. If you don't want a serious relationship, why waste her time. There is a high chance you would leave her. She has done the maths and has to play smart. Sorry bro, you just shot yourself in the leg.

falconey:
seriously, no insult intended you are a "problem" to the relationship.

If I am a problem, why should she confess love and then sleep with someone else, its not like she was raped.

ableD1:
You don't tell a lady such and expect her to be with yiu alone. If you don't want a serious relationship, why waste her time. There is a high chance you would leave her. She has done the maths and has to play smart. Sorry bro, you just shot yourself in the leg.

but she understands that i am not really serious because i am into some things that suck my time and commitment and its not like i told her to go. l begged her to wait for me.

Bros na u do yourself ooo....



if girl nor take me seriously n I find one that does then she wud claim I cheated......





Story for the gods.

.

Op, you've got a problem. Pls, dont try such with the next girl you meet or else, you might actually lose the right woman for you when you eventually meet her.
That girl loves you but she doesn't want to be taken for granted.

SlazzyK:
I'm loosing my mind, please advice me.

I have been dating my Babe for some times now, she loves me so much and I do too, its just that l told her that l'm not ready for a very serious relationship because of some things I am involved in and she understands. But we have been dating and enjoying the relationship, she always confess her fear of loosing me to me, since I told her its not a very serious relationship. This babe loves me so much and we stay in different states, she travels down to spend time with me most times.

Recently, through some calculations, I found out that she has been cheating on me with someone who is around her, and I got a screenshot that explained her reason for doing it. In the chat, she told the person that since I am not ready to be really serious, she cant put her whole commitment on the line and then get to lose at the end of the day since our relationship is 50:50, so she is flexing with someone else and the guy is her plan B in case I disappoint in the end, and since ours is not serious, that l might even be into another girl where I am
The crazy thing is that my Babe spends realy much on me and call me everyday that she loves and cherish me which she proves a lot.
I have refused to speak with her since I got to know because I am still pained, why will that reason (not ready to be serious) justify her reason for cheating even when she confessed that she loves me, and I really love her too.

What do you advice guys, because I want to face her soon.

Bro how did you know about the cheat of a thing, cause I'm sure she didn't tell you and she is not aware you know.




BTW, this story is similar to mine, only that my has not started cheating on me, cause i made her know I'm serious about it.



And I'm but the distance and other things are just killing me

guys should learn to avoid cheating ladies.

Don't even think of taking such ladies to the Altar cos they will still cheat even in Marriage.

osesology:
Op, you've got a problem. Pls, dont try such with the next girl you meet or else, you might actually lose the right woman for you when you eventually meet her.
That girl loves you but she doesn't want to be taken for granted.

What do you think I should do now boss?

teepsee:
Bro how did you know about the cheat of a thing, cause I'm sure she didn't tell you and she is not aware you know.

BTW, this story is similar to mine, only that my has not started cheating on me, cause i made her know I'm serious about it.

And I'm but the distance and other things are just killing me

Through some calculations, someone told someone that told someone... I wouldn't have believed if I didnt see the screenshots which explained her reason to someone. She knows that I know already But I am still boiling so not talked to her yet

The issue is how she would be sleeping with someone else while claiming that she loves you?

She is opening her legs and enjoying sex with another man meanwhile she is claiming that she loves you.

Is one thing if she is keeping the guy but refusing to do intimate acts with him.
When a girl loves you and she's sexually satisfied by you, she wouldn't have another man touching her. Especially since you have explained why you cannot be serious with her which I'm hoping are tangible reasons.

She's lying to two people and she's sleeping with both.
What kind of character does that look like to you?
If she truly "loves" you then she wouldn't feel so comfortable lying to you.
She's deceptive and a Hoe and her "Love" has no value.

She's just using your reasons to justify herself.

I mean, if she loves you then why is one guy somewhere enjoying full benefits without the obligation to be serious with her?
Do you know whether she has told him the same thing about loving him?

Forget what she has told you about loving you.

Tell her what I have typed up there to her face when you talk to her next.

It's up to you now to decide what you want to do.
If you want to Drop her, make her understand why. After all it has become a self fulfilling prophecy, she did what she did because she thought you could leave her at any time. Now you're leaving her because she did what she did.

WackyJ1, Thanks, that was comforting.
You would not believe she did it with a married man, yuck! Does she wana get married to him?

Its not like I dont love her, I just made her know I cant manage a very serious relationship for now. I dont wana lose her because she is a Golden jewel. Her type is very rare, But why she would bleep with a married nigga is what is driving me nuts.

SlazzyK:

Through some calculations, someone told someone that told someone... I wouldn't have believed if I didnt see the screenshots which explained her reason to someone. She knows that I know already But I am still boiling so not talked to her yet

alright, but how about if i tell you that she has nothing to lose, but you do, it's cause of things like this that made her have a plan B at the first place.



You don't expect tto tell a lady you not serious with a relationship and expect her to give you all she got.


If you feel you love her, you let her know you are and you really serious but when it comes to marriage you making plans for it but won't be anything soon.

For your own good, you better call her and you both iron things out, let her tell you her mind, don't force her to assume you both are made for each other. If she is really for you, let her know she will end the other relationship and let her know you are now serious.

But if you are ready to forgive her, if not, no need. Move on

brb

...

SlazzyK:
WackyJ1, Thanks, that was comforting.
You would not believe she did it with a married man, yuck! Does she wana get married to him?

Its not like I dont love her, I just made her know I cant manage a very serious relationship for now. I dont wana lose her because she is a Golden jewel. Her type is very rare, But why she would bleep with a married nigga is what is driving me nuts.

What's your definition of an unserious relationship?

Have you guys talked after your discovery?

falconey:
seriously, no insult intended you are a "problem" to the relationship.

Waka waka
Must I see you on every thread?

You can't eat your cake and have it.

honestly i don't see anything wrong in this. if u dont want something serious y be in a relationship for fuks sake ehn

this sounds similar to mine, though there is a difference which is, I discovered myself.

but all I have to say to every guy out there is that you guys should wise up, don't be fooled because at the end of the day you might be left with a wrecked heart. broke up two months ago but that will be a story for another day.

OP, all I have to tell you is to take the decision that's suitable for you, you alone knows your heart and how much pain it can carry.

#gracias#

WackyJ1:


What's your definition of an unserious relationship?

Have you guys talked after your discovery?

Really, we have not talked because a lot are running through my head.
By unserious, I mean I am not putting my all into the relationship because I am pursuing a lot in my life, But I am taken, by her.

ednut1:
honestly i don't see anything wrong in this. if u dont want something serious y be in a relationship for fuks sake ehn

She doesn't want to lose me, neither do I.

Why exactly are you pained?

My understanding of anyone saying they're not ready to be in a serious relationship is that they're just ready for a fling.
You told her yourself with your own mouth that you don't want a serious relationship, and she took your word for it.
It's just a fling, or a friends with benefits kinda relationship. In fact, it's an open relationship from my own understanding.
If you want a committed relationship, then let her know. If you're also still not ready yet for something serious for whatever reason, then you take what you have now as you see it.
If you want a mutually exclusive relationship, you can't say you're not ready for a serious relationship.

Only 2 options u got, get ursef committed into d relationship to Mk it work or stay away from relationship till u got ur shit togeda, u cnt eat ur cake ND still hv it

Hmmm...
Great replies up there