what would you do if your mother in law to be insists you must be a member of the grail movement before she supports your marriage? help

run!

Tell her to go jump the train

somethings in life you have to put your foot down,
this church is not one of these churches were you pretend you went,
they do not let every one in from what i know

the son is not in support of this though,

how far away from you is you mama in law if she is not too close all the better for you

MIL is in d eastern part of 9ja,
son is in diaspora,
i am in the western part of 9ja

anglican and grail

oriental01:

MIL is in d eastern part of 9ja,
son is in diaspora,
i am in the western part of 9ja

MIL is far away enough for you to put your foot down, she cant come over everyday to bother you

you cant please them all.
we are not talking about an arranged marrage but about man she loves.
if i were to have a guess, i would say MIL is bluffing. she can afford to do so as long as they are not married.
but this is a battle that the son /husband to be has to fight for her. after all its his mother

Tell her point blank that you are not doing it. Some things you just have to let people know up front. If her son seems like he is being controlled by mom too then you need to save yourself from a possible life time of wahala in your marriage

Outstrip:

Tell her point blank that you are not doing it. Some things you just have to let people know up front. If her son seems like he is being controlled by mom too then you need to save yourself from a possible life time of wahala in your marriage

Agreed. If you make the mistake of giving in, then you've dug a hole for yourself, and when you try to come out, your marriage will crumble.

ezinne1212:

Agreed. If you make the mistake of giving in, then you've dug a hole for yourself, and when you try to come out, your marriage will crumble.

well said

I don't know but maybe I will start a thread on this and try to see if I can finally understand why a lot of African parents are just so overbearing. No matter how I try to understand them. My parents included. A childhood friend of mine is going through a thing now and I was talking to my mom about it. His first marriage to a girl from Nigeria did not work and his family pretty much set the whole thing up. He is not considering marrying another one from NIgeria again and I am so irritated but my own mother is like what is the big deal. Why can't older family choose for him. My parents honestly feel like they have the right to ultimately decide who marries who. Unfortunately for them they have 5 kids and every single one of us is head strong. I will never forget the pressure they put on my sister and her husband and how stressful it was for them. My parents did not even show up for the wedding and they were only 15 minutes away. It was a big happy wedding and everybody knew about it because my sister and her husband waited 2 years for them to come around. I cried that whole day. I gave my parents a piece of my mind. I know they were dissappointed that we all stood behind my sister and her husband but I felt they needed to learn a lesson. So for my mom to even say that parents should be allowed to choose pissed me off. It's like "Mom did you even learn anything from the past". My sister and her husband have a wonderful marriage. My mother just came back to the states to spend 6 months and were is she staying? With my sister and husband. Her husband won't have it any other way. He treats my mother like he does not even treat his own mom. His mother calls my mom when she is in Nigeria all the time. Just a wonderful family and if we(the kids and even a few of my parents friends) had not made a stand my sister would have missed out on a wonderful man.

hahahahahahahaha.
this is why we need to take good part of the culture and "back to the sender" the bad one.
This is an age where we shd be able to chose based on what we want.