Hello All,

Greetings.

I'm sure you all are OK.

That Little, Crazy Chicken! is my second project in this section. I'm testing the "comedy waters" this time around and I hope - and pray - that things would turn out well.

As it was in the case of Condemned (https://www.nairaland.com/3092322/condemned), my first piece, I would be updating as I write; in other words, this project is unfinished; it's still a work-in-progress.

Also, kindly note that I may be slow in my updates; this is because I lead a hyper-busy life; be patient with me, please, as you were in the time of Condemned.

I thank you all, in advance, for your time...

Edit: The edited copy of Condemned is available here: http://okadabooks.com/book/about/condemned/11520

All Rights Reserved.

Reproduction and transmission of any part of this publication in ANY FORM are not allowed unless a prior written approval from the author is obtained.

Please, be warned.

Author's Contact: writetonye@gmail.com

Missmossy, Joanee, Iyhehelvins, Dandypearl, DropShot, Belvic, Missuniverse, Mczigx, MrBen10, Pgodson7, Emmyk, Summerflame, Kizzykeziah, Frankytof, Officialdokkey, Saxwizard, Teamplayey, Muhamadnur, Saxwizard, Lukman, Royalexcel2, Osaze20091, enduright, Kizzykeziah, Frankytof, Emmyk, Dera25, 9jaMalay, Queenxstar, Hartfriday, Tastemoney, Lexaydfg, SimpleBea, Kongru, Ikigia, Princelegacylehoma, AyamConfidence, Royalkeed, Ashatoda, Vaxt, Stevostical, Kingphilip, Cho25bc...and many more too numerous to mention, you are invited!

Chapter 1

DEIN was a Caterer and he liked his job for many reasons. Being responsible for the food of others was one of such reasons. The smile and satisfaction of his customers after eating his meal was another. Then there are the words of appreciation, the that-was-a-great-meal moments, and of course, the “you are the best around here!” declarations.

To 37-year old Dein, he had achieved the highest of his goals in life – to own a fast food joint in the heart of the city. It was not an easy ride but he had made it. The memories of the discouragements of his parents permanently hung somewhere in his head. The words of his father when he broke the news of his interest in life still felt fresh in his ears. “What! Are you out of your mind? You want to end up in life as a second-class citizen?” his dad had queried that night. “Can’t you see your age mate, Caleb’s son, the Engineer?” his mum had said in support of the words of his dad.

Now, as a successful caterer and business man, Dein had become the pride of his family. His father visited his restaurant frequently and his mother boasted, in his name, to her peers. He had successfully sponsored his siblings through school and he was planning to start a building project in the village.

Dein watched as two customers – a male and a female – walked towards the counter. It was a sight he was already used to.

“Welcome to D-Kitchen. What would you love to have, please?” he said as he smiled warmly.

“Thank you,” the young lady said with her painted lips stretched in a smile as she browsed through the various dishes with her eyes. The male stood in silence as his face portrayed a worrisome look. “I’d love to have that, please,” she spoke in a honeyed voice as she pointed at the tray of grilled chicken sampled in a glass vase.

“Sure, ma’am. What would you want to have that with, please?” Dein asked maintaining his smile.

“Hmmmm, add a little tomato sauce, please. Serve with a bottle of chilled malt,” she said. She turned to the male, “honey, would you mind if I ordered for a takeaway?” she said pulling his left hand into a hug.

The male turned to her immediately with wide-opened eyes.

“Yes! I mean, no. Sure……go on. You can get as much as you want!” he spoke in an obvious tension.

“Thanks darl. How good is your fried rice?” the lady said referring to Dein.

“It’s very good as you would soon confirm,” he replied.

“OK. While we eat here, kindly prepare fried rice and two portions of gizzard as takeaway. Please, add another piece of chicken” the lady said. She turned as she gave her boyfriend a romantic stare, “I think Mary would love to have some; don’t you think so, darling?”

“Sure….yea, she would…she should get some.”

“That’s my man…..you haven’t placed your order, baby,” she said as she wore a gentle frown.

“Yea, that’s true. I don’t really have a good appetite today…and remember that weight thing I told you about?” the male said as beads of sweat gathered on his forehead.

“Yea, I do. You want to go down a bit?”

“That’s right. I have to.”

“But you are only 57!” she said.

He was taken aback.

“Sure. You’re right,” he said, “hmmmm..I just want to make sure it remains 57,” he wiped his face with his handkerchief.

“OK. If you insist…..I find it strange, though,” she said.

“It isn’t, baby. It’s just me living a healthy lifestyle. Don’t you like it?”

“I do, darl”

“Good,” he said. “A bottle of cold water for me, please,” he spoke to Dein.

“We’ve got two brands, Sir. One is N100 and the other is N150. Which would you want to have?” Dein asked.

“I think the one of N150 should be of a better quality,” the girl spoke before her male company could reply.

“No! no; water is water. I’d love the cheaper one….sorry, I mean, the other one,” the male was almost completely out of composure.

“Well, that’s OK. I’ll take the one of N150. Two, please,” the lady said.

“Two?” the male asked as he squeezed the skin over his forehead.

“Yea, one for me, and the other for Mary,” she replied as she smiled seductively.

“But darling, there is water at home na,” the male protested.

“Yes, that’s correct, but you know it’s improper to bring food without water,” she said.

“Hmmmm...” the male wore a puzzled look, “I think you are correct. It’s simple courtesy. What was I thinking of? My apologies, please,” the male said.

“It’s nothing, darl. Let’s go grab a seat, please,” the lady said as they left the counter, with her hand hooked on his.

Dein got busy immediately fixing the order of the couple as he fought to keep himself from laughing. This was one of the benefits associated with the line of his work; there was always a reason to laugh even in the worst business days.

“Sir, your phone is ringing,” Amarachi, his newest recruit, called his attention.

“Who’s the caller?”

“It’s your mother, sir.”

“Hmmm..I’ll return her call later,” he said.

“OK sir,” Amarachi said as she went back to her post.

Dein’s mother’s persistent calls were almost getting on his nerves. No, it wasn’t the calls per se that was the problem, it was the message the calls conveyed. For the past three days, his mother had been sending his phone to a ring almost every minute. To Dein, her message was the most bizarre he had ever heard. Not that he was surprised, not a bit. It was her nature. Her religiosity wasn’t strange to anyone that knew her. She was always engaged in one church activity or the other. She had a thing for controversial, vision-seeing churches and she was never constant; she switched churches more frequently than she did her ornaments. He knew the call Amarachi reported wouldn’t be different from the others. Too bad he had to call back. She was his mother.

Dein had another staff serve the couple as he walked to his office. His phone displayed that he had missed eight calls from his mother. He made a long hiss and with a frown, he dialed her number.

“D-boy,” she called him as she picked at the first ring.

“Mum, good afternoon,” he said.

“I have been calling you. Why haven’t you been taking my calls?”

“I wasn’t close to my phone. I was attending to some customers.”

“I see,” she said. A brief pause followed. “I have a message for you my son.”

Dein was already familiar with this line.

“Mum, I’ve told you over – “

“ – listen to me, my son,” she interrupted.

Dein swallowed a deep breath as he shut his eyes tight in anger.

“My man of God wants to meet you.”

“Mum, I’m not ready to meet anyone, not today or any other day. Tell him I’m not interested in whatever message he has for me.”

“Look here! I’m your mother. You must do as I tell you. You’ve got a divine gift in your hands! Yes, I’m proud that you are successful in your business, I truly am, but you aren’t called for that!”

Dein rolled his eyes in irritation.

“I don’t need a prophet…or…or anyone to tell me about my divine gift. I know that already! My gift is to prepare magical meals that appeal to the tongues of my customers. That’s enough gift for a lifetime. There isn’t any other!” he shouted into the phone.

“God has blessed you with the powers to restore life to anything that is dead. Whatever dead thing you touch would come back to life!”

“As usual, God revealed this to your man of God……and he wants me to come preach…..and perform miracles in his church, right?”

“My son, you have to find your way back to God. Come and see my pastor and he would tell you more revelations. Please, son, just come,” she was crying.

“OK mum, I’ll see what I can do,” Dein could not stand the tears of his mother. He made a mental note of visiting her over the weekend.

“Thank you, son. I’ll keep praying for you,” she said as she sniffed.

“OK ma; let’s talk later. I have to go back to business,” he said.

“OK. Take care.”

“Yea, bye,” he said as he dropped the call.


...To be Continued...

...Continued...

Tekena Jlach was a young Nigerian in his early thirties. He was just above six foot tall with broad, sloppy shoulders and a thick chest. A thin layer of black, wavy hairs carpeted his scalp with narrow fingers of beards descending the sides of his brown-skinned face. He was a graduate of Computer Science from a federal university in the southern part of the country.

To a very large extent, life had not been fair with Tekena. As he often put it, life had reserved its best stock of bad luck for him. He had no job, no good accommodation, a failing relationship with his fiancée, no rich friend, and a nagging father.

“You just have to work harder,” Tosin, his fiancée, spoke as she stood before the termite-infested wooden window of his one-room apartment.

“You know I am; all I need is some luck,” he lamented. He loved her dearly; she was the only good thing he could count in his life.

“And some more work,” she added in a sad tone.

“I understand you’ve been patient with me, baby, and I thank you for that. All I need is some more patience, please. Just give me one more month; I’ll make sure things get better,” he said.

“One more month?” she said as she turned to him revealing a heavy face, “isn’t this the hundredth one-more-month you’ve requested for?” she queried.

“I agree but this is the real one-more-month,” he walked up to her as he took her hands in a hold.

She pulled out and folded them across her chest.

“So, you’ve been fooling around all these while? You had to wait this long to do the real one-more-month?”

“Come on darling, we are almost there!”

“True. I agree with you, we are almost there. And by the way, by there, I mean a breakup!”

“What! No! Not this time! Please!”

“You know I love you but sadly, time is not a partaker of our little romance; it’s flying away!”

“I know, I understand. Just give me some more time, please, I’ll try my very best to make sure I get something this time around.”

She looked at him. She allowed her gaze to penetrate his eyes. They were soaked in sadness and shame. She could see through him. The ache of his heart was palpable. This was one of the reasons she liked him. His eyes never lied – not that she could boast same for his mouth, though. She knew he loved her and she also knew that love wasn’t a currency. Her heart sank in a stream of ice cold water. She loved him and it pained her that circumstances weren’t occurring in their favour. The parameters of life were against them; fate wasn’t in support of their being together.

“Darling,” she said as tears gathered in her eyes making them glitter in the colours of sorrow, “I love you,” the words were sweet to say but bitter to know.

“I love you too, sweet,” he replied as he fought back tears.

“But I have to tell you the truth, there can’t be us without a good finance,” she said as she reached for his hands.

“I know,” for the first time in their conversation, he had come to terms with the obvious.

“I’ll give you one more month,” she said.

He released a slow smile.

“But it’s the last,” she added.

His smile disappeared immediately.

They stood inches away from each other in silence. No more words were spoken. For a moment, they allowed their hearts continue with the discussion as time ticked into an uncertain future.

She lifted his right hand as she planted a warm kiss on it as drops of her tears fell on its back. Without saying another word, she turned as she walked out of the room.

Tekena watched as Tosin made for the door. He wanted to urge her to stay a little longer but he decided in the contrary. He knew she had tried; she had been patient with him. The theme of their discussion was expected but he was never prepared for it. He walked to the small foam that rested on the floor of his room as he threw himself on it. He allowed his mind to wander away to the memories of the happy times they had shared.

...To be Continued...

Who would be the first to comment?

TONYE001:
Who would be the first to comment?

Me, and thanks for the mention. (I only got to see it after you know what. Lol)
. . . I think it's going to be a great story. More grace

The story looks good, following

teamplayey:


Me, and thanks for the mention. (I only got to see it after you know what. Lol)
. . . I think it's going to be a great story. More grace

Lolz...my brother! I for talk na...I can now breathe happily..

Welcome, sir..

PeachyP:
The story looks good, following

Thanks; I'm sure you won't be disappointed..

Present, keep it coming nice descriptive skills.

I love this!! nice one @op
....keep it coming

I'm so following

Following. Please biko we want more.

Missmossy:
Present, keep it coming nice descriptive skills.

Hey miss, Can I send you a pm?

Missmossy:
Present, keep it coming nice descriptive skills.

Thanks Miss..good morning..

butterfly88:
I love this!! nice one @op
....keep it coming

I'm so following

I'm glad you love it. Thanks...more ti

kudos!!! Nice one

sessi07:
Following. Please biko we want more.

You would get more...hahaha..thanks.

Nerobella:
kudos!!! Nice one

Thanks..Welcome on board..

Editing...

Here's something to start your day with..

Have a nice day!

TONYE001:
Missmossy, Joanee, Iyhehelvins, Dandypearl, DropShot, Belvic, Missuniverse, Mczigx, MrBen10, Pgodson7, Emmyk, Summerflame, Kizzykeziah, Frankytof, Officialdokkey, Saxwizard, Teamplayey, Muhamadnur, Saxwizard, Lukman, Royalexcel2, Osaze20091, enduright, Kizzykeziah, Frankytof, Emmyk, Dera25, 9jaMalay, Queenxstar, Hartfriday, Tastemoney, Lexaydfg, SimpleBea, Kongru, Ikigia, Princelegacylehoma, AyamConfidence, Royalkeed, Ashatoda, Vaxt, Stevostical, Kingphilip, Cho25bc...and many more too numerous to mention, you are invited!

thank you for the mention fire on sir

Intrepid01:

Hey miss, Can I send you a pm?

Yes you can.

here my lord. don't bore is with late updates

here my lord. don't bore us with late updates

Present sir$ carry gO

TONYE001:
Missmossy, Joanee, Iyhehelvins, Dandypearl, DropShot, Belvic, Missuniverse, Mczigx, MrBen10, Pgodson7, Emmyk, Summerflame, Kizzykeziah, Frankytof, Officialdokkey, Saxwizard, Teamplayey, Muhamadnur, Saxwizard, Lukman, Royalexcel2, Osaze20091, enduright, Kizzykeziah, Frankytof, Emmyk, Dera25, 9jaMalay, Queenxstar, Hartfriday, Tastemoney, Lexaydfg, SimpleBea, Kongru, Ikigia, Princelegacylehoma, AyamConfidence, Royalkeed, Ashatoda, Vaxt, Stevostical, Kingphilip, Cho25bc...and many more too numerous to mention, you are invited!

following sir

Following

@ Tonye: hope you're not ill?

teamplayey:
@ Tonye: hope you're not ill?

Bro, I am so sorry. I am OK...it's just the pressure of work and school...

I haven't been here for a while...

Patience, please...after my defense...I would continue....pleaseeee...

Thanks for replying @ Tonye001.
I've been wondering for a while cos you just took off -for lack of a better description. Congratulations in anticipation to you. The grace of our Lord remains forever sufficient.
(Lol. Remind me later on to ask why you chose male as my gender. #Query query)

teamplayey:
Thanks for replying @ Tonye001.
I've been wondering for a while cos you just took off -for lack of a better description. Congratulations in anticipation to you. The grace of our Lotd remains forever sufficient.
(Lol. Remind me later on to ask why you chose male as my gender. #Query query)

Thanks for understanding...

#Oh! About the gender, I guess it's default thinking or something ooo...my apologies, please, if I got it wrong..