Forgiveness is the cornerstone of most religious and spiritual practices; “to err is human, to forgive divine” is perhaps the most often repeated of the millions of quotes you can find about it.

We all make mistakes, great and small, and it is the hallmark of a good person to be able to own those mistakes and apologize sincerely for them. But when we have been wronged, it takes even greater strength and wisdom to forgive in earnest.

We all ultimately have to understand that whether or not the transgressor is capable of acknowledging the wrongdoing and making amends for it, that living in a place of bitterness and rancor only hurts the self.

Letting go and moving on is not a reward for the person who hurt you, it is self-care. Most people, at some point in their life will lose a relationship due to divisive behavior. Whether you are the perpetrator or the victim, no one emerges entirely unscathed, no matter what the appearance is.

The most difficult type of forgiveness to muster, however, is for people we chose to continue to engage with; if we determine the offence was not a deal breaker, we then have to renegotiate the terms of the relationship. This is touchy, complicated work. To again trust someone we feel has betrayed us is one of the greatest challenges of intimacy; but without trust, there is no relationship worth fighting for.
To forgive really is divine—for both genders

“To forgive (is) divine” is hardly an exaggeration in many cases; we may look at marriages that continue in spite of infidelity, addiction and other such challenges with a jaundiced eye, but the reality is that marriage is no one-size-fits-all proposition. We all have an idea of what marriage means to us, but it is hardly fair or correct to impose our standards on others. Marriage is, at the end of the day, a partnership, not a fairy tale; and partnerships come in all sorts of valid forms, as long as both parties agree to the rules of engagement.

It is difficult to stand outside of a nonconformist relationship without judgment, but that is what we must strive to do. Unless we suspect abuse, minding our own P’s and Q’s is the way to go. Better to focus on our own support system and clean our own house; are we living in relationships where resentment outweighs enjoyment? And do we understand the fine line between “forgiveness” and “enabling”?

There is a gender bias when it comes to male-female relationships where the dysfunction may cross a line into abuse.

If I told you that I knew a woman in a relationship with a man who doesn’t allow her to have a private e-mail account,.....http://osagiesblogs..com.ng/2016/10/for-men-and-women-to-forgiveweakness-or.html