I keep asking myself why is it that anytime I fall in love, I feel pain or I'm always hurt. Or does it only happen to me alone? Do love and pain go together?

I interviewed a friend of mine, an experienced ladies-man, to answer this question.

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Question: Ok, so tell me, why is love so painful at times?
Answer: You see, emotions in relationships are normally experienced by ladies. They put so much trust and sometimes their whole life into the little thing.

Answer: Well, it's not their fault , because the guy you know would do what it takes to get her totally. I mean by crazy words and all that. Ladies read too much romantic novels and expect things that are in words to be actually practised, and this leads to dissapointment.

Question: So what should they do?
Answer: We just cant change the way a gender reacts towards things. A guy can walk away easily. But for a lady, it's another story.

Questions: So why do the ladies enter into these relationships?
Answer: Emotions, again. They are easily suseptible to, should I say, "scopings" (as you guys call it) A guy says 'I love you' on the first day and you take it like he has stood in front of what he believed in and sweared.

Question: So what we should do is teach them how to resist scopings?
Answer: Dr Love. Guys are manipulative. They can look innocent, they can look charming. And women are meant to melt. Besides, one thing that kills women is the money or beauty. It really kills them.

Question: So what are you final words for the Nairalanders?
Answer: Get a life! I mean, they are mature enough to know all this, especially those that have gone through different relationships.

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Wow, Dr. Love says you ladies take relationships too seriously. What do you think?

Though Dr. Love seems to understand what he is talking about, I cannot help but point out one very important fact. Knowing all these things about women, girls, ladies, the average guy claims ignorance.

The truth is that most ladies are known for very poor choices when it comes to guys, especially in the early stages of their dating lives. Its important a girl to know who you are and what you expect and to really try to get to know guys before you start going out with them.

Perhaps the ladies should make better choices in guys and guys should be more sympathetic (because they are always aware of these emotions and promote them for selfish needs).

Indeed all meaningful relationships are painful, but its all about degrees, love is painful, but can be great!

I love how the implication is that men never get hurt by love.

jummy79:

I love how the implication is that men never get hurt by love.

Anyone who thinks men dont get hurt in love better have his/her head examined

jogego:

jummy79 link=topic=343.msg2953#msg2953 date=1117460097:

I love how the implication is that men never get hurt by love.

Anyone who thinks men dont get hurt in love better have his/her head examined

Exactly! Men are just as susceptible to love as women are.

Its true that men get hurt when they are in love (or sometimes when they just like a girl a lot) but the truth is that society is conditioned to believe that (1) women are more susceptible to getting hurt and falling in and out of love and (2) men are always the guilty party or the party doing the hurting.

I have personally got hurt in a relationship and I must say as a guy I have not gotten much sympathy if any at all.

I think, as a girl, you have to know the kind of man you want in your life; as in the qualities you want in a man. If a man does not meet at least 70% of what you want I see no reason why you should go ahead and fall in love. We girls have so many problems that we dont know we have. Guys aren't worth dying for.

If I'm in a relationship and I realise the guy is not my cup of tea I'll rather pull out safely before it's too late because most relationships are always one sided and girls are always at the loosing end. A guy can't meet me today and tell me he loves me tomorrow and I'll be crazy about him. You can only be secured when you love someone who is truly your friend but when you fall in love with a stranger then you are a going to.

I will advise that we girls should look before we leap. However, there's no way that pain can be rulled out in a relationship. We should cherish our heart and guide it jealously to avoid someone breaking it.

Men do get hurt at times, especially when a man actually loves a girl and she breaks his heart!

If you fall in love with a stranger then u are a gonna!

I agree with you Sade, the looking before you leap thing is definitely the right thing to do. falling for strangers too quickly is not a good idea. Females take note.

One thing you guys should understand is there's no formula for this love thing, a guy can be hurt just as easily as the girl, i've seen broken hearted guys and it's not a pleasant sight. You might say there are more girls that get broken hearts because guys go for girls so he knows when he just wants to playaround. A girl just has to be smart but not too smart o!

I've been hurt before and i know how painful it can be... I just think men move on faster than women when the relation don blow up.

Some people see men moving on faster as a sign off emotional numbness but i think it's just someone being brave and facing up to life...

There is no point crying over split milk, carry on with your life i say.

The reason why love can be painful most times is when relationships get sore! It is so painful to know that females bear the brunt of the soreness most times, because we're the emotional type. But then, most females don't know when to let go!

When some females discover a relationship has hit the rocks, instead of them to move on, they keep hanging on (for old memories' sake) till the pain sets in!

But as for men, they usually let go before it's even time. So you mustn't think they dont get hurt, they just want to move on!

bercause you love someone and you do not want to live the person you have shared all you good tinme with that person that it

It's painful at times because love is about sacrifice and that can be harsh to deal with!

I keep telling ya'all love is a big state of confusion so please tell me why it won't hurt.

no it is not

abeg it is, it involves a lot of sacrifice and submission sometimes more than you can bear

it is not

Love is not painful, it only depends on individual.

Love is sweet

Love is divine.

The greatest is love.

Joloaso.

jolaoso:

Love is not painful, it only depends on individual.

Love is sweet

Love is divine.

The greatest is love.

Joloaso.

yes that is the truth,love is not painful

love4ever:

it is not

love4ever are u telling me that love does not often involve sacrifice and submission and so that makes it painful sometimes? please could you clarify what you mean by 'it is not'

besides the original post said why is love so painful at times not all the time even the greatest love of all has always involved pain

hey i mearn to say that love is not painful if you do not want it to be for you they it will not be

so are u saying you can chose when to sacrifice in love and when not to? sounds pretty selective to me

love4ever:

hey I mearn to say that love is not painful if you do not want it to be for you they it will not be

love4ever could you please explain further cos I just don't understand.

lol tayo-t abeg dont needle her

h'ey make you no fun me say witting i no want say

Most guys are insensitive jerks... I'd highly recommend that you shouldn't fall in love with anyone, for any reason whatsoever until you've discovered what kind of person s/he is, and you've spent a lot of time together. Of course, some people blindly fall in love, which I consider risky. The thing is, you have to be logical and realistic, not foolish.

What I have to say is that love is sweet and bitter at thesame time. When you don't make the right choices of who you love, you end up in so much pains, although I will not dispute the fact that good relationships still have pains sometimes.

I think we all are matured enough to make the right choices and not give in to any 'jerk' according to shockreaction.

Guys also feel the pains of love, everyone does, except the love isn't there in the first place. Anyway, this advise goes to both girls and guys, "BE CAREFUL" watch out, look before you leap. Spend alot of time with a guy/girl, know the kind of person he/she is before going into anything serious with him/her. so that at the end, you don't blame anyone! ciao

love is just an emotional feeling which is the same in men and gals; but the way we handle it is the diff. I always keep my head above the waters in r/ship. It prevents alot of heartaches

well love has many definitions it takes different people in different ways
a man's love story is different from another man's
somtimes i think love doesnt exist but it does
anyway love is always painful if it doesnt suit your purpose
but if it does ohhhhhhhhhh my God
itz so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet