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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child (4971 Views)
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Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by damjane(f): 9:09pm On Nov 06, 2016 |
Growing up as a female child in an African home is not easy, the over protectiveness shown to we girl is something worth talking about. African parents believe that caging the female child makes her a responsible person, but that is not a determination to how a person would turn out. Let me tell you a little story, my best friend is the only girl among four boys, her parents are elders In their church. Growing up I was the only friend she had, she was always at home not being allowed to go out, and I was the only friend her parents allowed to visit her (that's because my parents were elders in the same church with them). The would always give her the excuse that she would get spoil out there. her brothers were so protective of her in school that no guy could come near her. To cut the long story short today my friend is no more, she died in her first year in the university after going clubbing with some friends. I personally am someone that believe everyone should be allowed to have a life. Everyone deserves to go out and see the world, make mistakes and learn from them you see pastors protecting their female child not allowing them to mingle which is wrong. Train up your child in the right way and trust her to make the right decisions, where she is missing it advice her but don't scare her, cause this pushes her away to the wrong hands. Mothers get close to your daughter's don't restrain her remenber you would not always be there with her. There is no perfect person out there, what would be would be restraining is not the solution. I lost my friend because she was not taught how to face the would, but instead to avoid it. I think it's high time we stop this madness in Africa especially here in Nigeria. http://bluelizzblog..co.ke/2016/11/why-do-african-parents-over-protect.html?m=1 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by eph12(m): 9:24pm On Nov 06, 2016 |
So what killed that your friend is because her parents over protected her? 6 Likes |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by Nobody: 9:32pm On Nov 06, 2016 |
Overprotection made me crave, seek, find, love and appreciate freedom. Rebellious it made me too. Those girls who were given more freedom learned to be more responsible faster than I did. It seemed like a contradiction at first. Now I understand. 4 Likes |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by Florblu(f): 9:47pm On Nov 06, 2016 |
Thank God my parent are not over protective even though they were initially but they later soften their pedal. Being over protective always amounts to zero effort 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by oloyede252(m): 9:58pm On Nov 06, 2016 |
op seriously Am tired of some parent over protectiveness of their gal child they won't just let us have a field day.calling them in class,lab,club, lounge etc. abeg e Don do |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by oloyede252(m): 9:58pm On Nov 06, 2016 |
op seriously Am tired of some parent over protectiveness of their gal child they won't just let us have a field day.calling them in class,lab,club, lounge etc. abeg e Don do abi kilode 1 Like |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by mazimee(m): 10:06pm On Nov 06, 2016 |
eph12: You asked the same question I was about to ask. As if those whose parents weren't over protective didn't die while clubbing. The truth is that, pikin wey go spoil go spoil. Another gospel truth is that the girl child deserves all the protection she can. Most times, especially those in their teens tend to loose hold of themselves when they are exposed to the bigger world without a guild. 5 Likes |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by Nobody: 11:18pm On Nov 06, 2016 |
Over protectiveness made me a responsible woman I am now. I will forever thank my people. 9 Likes |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by sisisioge: 6:09am On Nov 07, 2016 |
True...over protection makes the one being protected more curious about what s/he is being protected from. I think a bird should be allowed to fly with guidance... 1 Like |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by nnamdibig(m): 7:35am On Nov 07, 2016 |
eph12: |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by yetseyi(f): 9:02pm On Nov 07, 2016 |
It depends on how you see it. I will protect my child for as long as I can, there are mistakes one will make that will change the course of that life for ever and the person wont be able to retrace his/her steps. I don't believe in this "make your mistakes and learn from them " statement I have seen that phrase twice today. I would rather ensure that my child doesn't make that mistake. Its not even in this current situation of the country one won't protect his/her child, with what someone is reading on NL front page. Most of the things we call over protectiveness now was normal some times ago. 7 Likes |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by toyeem(f): 10:08am On Nov 08, 2016 |
I will protect my daughters with all I've got. Things that we were not exposed to when growing up are everywhere now. Nudity is gradually becoming the norm, decency is being thrown away and some parents too are not helping matters. Let me give a quick example. A 5yrs old girl came to meet me on sun (I teach in Sunday school) that a boy is telling her to pull down her pant and sit on his laps, I was surprised because we were like 4teachers in that class, I told her to go and call the boy. When the boy came, I was shocked, he's a 6yrs old boy. I asked him some questions and found out that the boy have been seeing people around him do same. His parents, maid with security... I told the mother but she didn't see it as anything. She just said he's a boy now, dat it's the girl I should talk to. I felt really bad. These are the kind of boys our girls meet in school, playgrounds, parties etc. 3 Likes |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by Onegai(f): 1:07pm On Nov 08, 2016 |
toyeem: What exactly did his mother want you to say to the girl, that it was her fault or what? Why is she encouraging her son in doing something so bad?? So because he is a boy, he's allowed to molest another person's child, it's fine and dandy?? Did you report her to the Head of the creche, at least keep the boy away until his mother learns sense before he asks another little girl and she agrees? |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by Nobody: 1:50pm On Nov 08, 2016 |
toyeem: The more reason why I have to protect my future child from such a poorly raised soul 1 Like |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by missjo(f): 1:55pm On Nov 08, 2016 |
yetseyi:This is the summary, I myself have had this exact thought. What millennials now call overprotection was actually pretty standard way of upbringing in the 80s and early 90s. |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by toyeem(f): 3:37pm On Nov 08, 2016 |
Onegai: Toor, me too I was wondering ooo. I reported her to the head of children department and she flogged the boy right there in the presence of his mother. She also told her she won't allow such nonsense in Sunday school. |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by SirShymexx: 5:01pm On Nov 08, 2016 |
missjo: yetseyi: Lol, I can't believe the both of you failed to cite the elephant in the room, especially in today's world where female kids need more protection/guidance than ever. The social media age where everything is anti-virtuousness and being slutty is now a way of life and anyone against it, is slut-shaming. And also an age where women are exposed to more harm than ever. You both know what the elephant in the room is. |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by raumdeuter: 5:05pm On Nov 08, 2016 |
So is there any parent here who wont protect their children especially female from all the predators out there? Or whats the issue here? The world will never be rid of predators so its only you that can save your ownunless you gave birth to your child and decide to donate him/her to predators |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by missjo(f): 6:29pm On Nov 08, 2016 |
SirShymexx:I can't say i don't know and I'd like to think we all do deep within us, which is why I'm all for this OVERPROTECTION. It's necessary as I don't think the girl child can be OVERprotected, literally. Once I was 7 years old, mama told me don't let no male play with or touch you in your pookie ( my version of Lukas Graham's hit). |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by SirShymexx: 8:01pm On Nov 08, 2016 |
missjo: That's funny, especially with all the pedos running around everywhere these days. |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by yetseyi(f): 8:19pm On Nov 08, 2016 |
SirShymexx: You really want us to state the very obvious reason why the girl child seems to need more protection. Nobody (Sane people I mean) wants his/her daughter molested in any form. Anti- virtuousness and being slutty sells and that's why its being promoted. |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by yetseyi(f): 8:30pm On Nov 08, 2016 |
missjo: Well the standards have fallen. If a parent is trying to use some of those methods its now called over protectiveness 1 Like |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by montezz(f): 10:13pm On Nov 08, 2016 |
Mindfulness:So true. IMHO Parents should learn to hold their 'precious' girls with open palms rather than trying to make them captives of the third world war. Let them see the world as it truly is while you guide them rightly. Most of my peers that were 'overprotected' turned out worse. Some got pregnant at a tender age...some after first semester (100l) @ uni....some are still are doing well in the 'runs' enterprise. Yet I can't deny the fact that the same overprotective method has produced highly disciplined,cultured and successful women. Parenting is a very delicate and tough journey that requires wisdom. Parents can never get it right. Everyone tries to protect and train their children whichever way they seem best. 1 Like |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by SirShymexx: 12:37am On Nov 09, 2016 |
yetseyi: The real elephant in the room is feminism. There are folks who believe being protective of female children has something to do with patriarchy - and not their safety and well-being. |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by Mznaett: 5:33am On Nov 09, 2016 |
The underline word here is OVER which is totally unacceptable... When a lion that's been caged for years get its freedom or escape how does it react? 1 Like |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by yetseyi(f): 10:39am On Nov 09, 2016 |
SirShymexx: Feminism ke? Really, how does patriarchy relate with being protective of the female child, won't the female child be protected irrespective of the type of system we run. Kindly make me understand. BTW I was reading your posts on the kosoko king thread. |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by raumdeuter: 4:26pm On Nov 09, 2016 |
Mznaett: Can you really OVER protect what is dear to you? If you have a piece of diamond now, that everyone is trying to steal from you will you just put it under your pillow? Most likely you will hide in very well and anyone going towards that direction you will police sharply With the way the world is and the way media and pop culture is promoting lax sexual behavior, Wont you over protect your own from the world? |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by nowpresence(f): 5:51pm On Nov 09, 2016 |
You can protect your Child be it male or female. But when you OVER protect them, that is no longer protection but fear from the parents side that they don't trust theIr child that he/she will be responsible out there. Over protection damage the child psychologically which in the long term might lead to low self-esteem because the child would Not trust themselves When they eventually go outside. Parents should just let their children be. Instead of Being over protectivE they should teach them to take responsibility for their actions and learn from theIr mistakes. This will even make them to have a stronger personality. |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by Nobody: 6:31pm On Nov 09, 2016 |
raumdeuter: So of what use is the diamond if you keep it hidden? And why have children at all if the world is so messed up? |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by raumdeuter: 7:11pm On Nov 09, 2016 |
Mindfulness: You keep it hidden so with time, its value wont be dimished and will still be appreciated The world is messed up as it is and you have your own children shelter them from the messed up world until they are old enough and strong enough to face it on their own Yo dont release them to the world when they are vulnerable to preys |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by raumdeuter: 7:13pm On Nov 09, 2016 |
nowpresence: Let children be? Do you know some of the consequences of letting children be? Children dont know good from evil in most cases and by the time they find out it might be too late If you are a parent wont you enforce a strict time on your kids to come back home or you just let them come home at anytime they want and make mistakes that are common with night crawlers |
Re: Over Protectiveness Of The Female Child by Nobody: 7:26pm On Nov 09, 2016 |
raumdeuter: Your diamond analogy is screwed. The diamond has no feelings and no needs. A child has the inherent need to be autonomous and more autonomous gradually but you can mess up their childhood and youth by making your home a prison and while you are at , school them at home, get rid of the TV and the computer and never ever allow them to listen to music. They will love their life. |
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