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Updates:
Yes we had the talk and he told me what he earns.
Also apologized for overreacting that first time.
He even gave me from the money today to show he is still going to play his role as provider.

Thanks for advising me everyone, I really appreciate.

thotianna:
Updates:
Yes we had the talk and he told me what he earns.
Also apologized for overreacting that first time.
He even gave me from the money today to show he is still going to play his role as provider.

I will tell him I want us to buy the land together with my savings to put his mind at ease.

I still have another stash that is like half of the first one so I really have nothing to worry about even if we share the first stash.

Bia, na only you dey have stash upandan?

Just kidding.
Good to know you guys have resolved your differences. Yeah, buy a piece of land with it.

I really admire people who are disciplined enough to save, as its a feat many can't achieve.

eyinjuege:


Bia, na only you dey have stash upandan?

Just kidding.
Good to know you guys have resolved your differences. Yeah, buy a piece of land with it.

I really admire people who are disciplined enough to save, as its a feat many can't achieve.

My dear no mind me and my stash stash upandan

He knows about all my money and I know of his so we are on a clean slate presently. I guess this is just one of the trials we are bound to face as a married couple.

I love him still with all my heart and I don't know why I was even mentioning divorce before, wetin dey worry me sef

Thanks for your help on the thread my darling. You guys are the best.

thotianna:




My dear no mind me and my stash stash upandan

He knows about all my money and I know of his so we are on a clean slate presently. I guess this is just one of the trials we are bound to face as a married couple.

I love him still with all my heart and I don't know why I was even mentioning divorce before, wetin dey worry me sef

Thanks for your help on the thread my darling. You guys are the best.

Fantastic

Eketem:
It is posts like This that makes me realize that Nigerian women are not ready for Gender equality.

Imagine your parents educated you then started asking man to " Take care of you "

You too got into a marriage taking it as a financial plan so the man will be suffering and sweating with N120000 in this economy having zero savings while you are stashing your money.

What the heck do young intending couples talk about? Financial education and black and white financial blue print saves 80 percent of marital problems.

Go and sit with your husband on excel do an expense sheet and income sheet then plan how to share bills and save either together or jointly.

He cannot be suffering like a goat to pay all bills while you are stashing away your own money that is a silly mentality and shameful too in 2016.

Objectivity is the sole reason why I am following you and uplawal. Thank you for your back to back objective comments not riddled with emotions.

thotianna:


Thanks, this is what I feel as well.

Let me be honest it's actually my money and I am speaking from personal experience.

Our marriage is relatively new and before we got married he told me and my parents he makes up to 120000 or more every month so he has no problem taking care of me. That was actually a criteria our parents gave him, that if he can't cater for me he should postpone the wedding till he is comfortable.



Afterall everything, he found out about my money recently only for him to start telling me that he doesn't have anything and is constantly struggling to even buy food for us. And if I buy anything for myself I should also buy his.

How do some men sleep comfortably with a woman giving them money? God forbid. Over my dead body.

I have rejected help from my siblings not to talk of my a wife. Nothing wrong in spending once a while but when it becomes a custom, it's a taboo in my own book.

robotix:


How do some men sleep comfortably with a woman giving them money? God forbid. Over my dead body.

I have rejected help from my siblings not to talk of my a wife. Nothing wrong in spending once a while but when it becomes a custom, it's a taboo in my own book.

See this man

They are everywhere like sand!
If truly you are not like those men then you are a rare breed. I don't know if it's just me being old fashioned but I can't sit down and watch my husband playing my roles at home.
I cannot sit down comfortably while he is cooking or washing our clothes, even when I was feeling sick the other day and he offered to cook I still took a stool to sit with him in the kitchen so as to be part of it.

I don't understand this modern way of life where roles have been comfortably exchanged.

thotianna:


See this man

They are everywhere like sand!
If truly you are not like those men then you are a rare breed. I don't know if it's just me being old fashioned but I can't sit down and watch my husband playing my roles at home.
I cannot sit down comfortably while he is cooking or washing our clothes, even when I was feeling sick the other day and he offered to cook I still took a stool to sit with him in the kitchen so as to be part of it.

I don't understand this modern way of life where roles have been comfortably exchanged.

There is nothing wrong in doing it once a while BUT when it becomes a routine, that's very bad.

I am not saying it does not happen but what I don't understand is how they sleep at night 365 days while a woman pay the bills. If the woman can help for a while before he gets something better, that's fine and okay. But some men can relent a whole lot, staying in their comfort zones.

If what you studied in school can get you your desired financial status, don't you think it's time to learn a new skill?

I am a strong believer of adaptation and I am a chameleon of circumstances. That's my approach.

The problem lies with my who stick to one method/skill. Learn and another skill, adapt and conquer.