Today, the social media is awash with the already stale but yet exciting news of the polls in the world’s most powerful nation. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t mind but I must mind. A mischievous friend quipped this morning that the Americans have acted like Nigerian ladies. They always find themselves falling helplessly in love with the bad, “emotionally unavailable” guys whilst the gentlemen are relegated to the friend zone. The same has happened in America. The white folks unwittingly fell headlong in love with the loud-mouthed Septuagenarian billionaire while leaving Clinton to her fate.

Personally, for some unknown reason, I found myself following the election update from the comfort of my little room here in Aba. Google updated the results every 30 seconds till it was concluded.

America, the world power was unknowingly breaking into fragments due to permissiveness of all sorts of immoral acts including bestiality and gaiety. Perhaps, they haven’t learned from ancient world powers…Egypt and Babylon. Let’s see what this new president will say on this matter. He has promised to in his own words to be “THE PRESIDENT FOR ALL AMERICANS”.

As for the black folks who run to America at the slightest opportunity, I hope Trump will turn a blind on them. Nigerians are always smart anyway. They think out of the box when it comes to craftiness and mischief making.

Like our former hat-wearing President, Goodluck Jonathan, Clinton called Trump to congratulate him on his victory. The White House has equally congratulated Trump. So, unlike Nigeria, we are 99% sure that no one will be heading to the courts in the USA.
Our female folks must have thought that Clinton will Clinch the Presidency of the USA. Women and their dreams sha.
Americans voted massively for Trump despite the fact that he is in his 70s. In Nigeria, Buhari is receiving insults daily because they claim he is too old to lead a nation.

It hasn’t been a smooth ride for Trump. I believe CONGRATULATIONS is in order. The Office might not be a smooth one as there will be opposition from some quarters while you’re enacting some laws and policies but I believe you’re strong.

In my usual style, though I’m not an American, I shall celebrate the victory of this billionaire with a plate of fried noodles and a chilled bottle of Pepsi to wash down.

CONGRATULATIONS TRUMP!!! YOU’RE DA MAN!!!