Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,201,693 members, 7,979,333 topics. Date: Saturday, 19 October 2024 at 06:39 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Need Ur Suggestions (2097 Views)
Pls My Fellow Nairalanders I Seriously Need Ur Help.. / My Baby Won't Eat.....Please Suggestions (Worried Dad) / I Need Help And Suggestions In Dealing With A Noisy Neighbour (2) (3) (4)
I Need Ur Suggestions by naniawini(f): 8:22pm On Nov 09, 2016 |
Hello familylanders, pls I have an issue at hand that demands urgent treatment. I took my baby to spend sometime with her dad and grand parents. I came to pick her up today and they have refused giving me my baby and she's just a year and 8months... Mind u this guy and I are not married. Pls wat do I do? I'm thinking of reporting to police. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by babythug(f): 11:04pm On Nov 09, 2016 |
naniawini: Involve the police and your family members right away. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by Richy4(m): 11:22pm On Nov 09, 2016 |
Is this a joke or something? what did he say was his grievances behind his action.... |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by naniawini(f): 4:08am On Nov 10, 2016 |
Richy4:I brought d baby to hhim dat I'll be back to pick her, nd since wen I came they have refused to hand d baby over to me. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by naniawini(f): 4:08am On Nov 10, 2016 |
babythug:I tink dats wat I need to do 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by naniawini(f): 7:52am On Nov 10, 2016 |
U guys shud not jst view nd not drop comments. I'm almost losing my sanity |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by babythug(f): 8:56am On Nov 10, 2016 |
naniawini: You don't need more comments right now.. Take some action immediately!!!! 1 Like |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by Richy4(m): 9:03am On Nov 10, 2016 |
Just go to the police straight on... If you get your child back, he might decide to file a court case.... But do not panic, the child is way too young to be with him...Do not stay at home looking for who will comment on NL. just head to police now |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by PresVA: 10:23am On Nov 10, 2016 |
naniawini:What about your family? you may also need to involve the police and human rights 'whatever'... |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by mrjojo: 12:10pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
@ op, is this the first time the child will be spending time with him?? And don't you guys have like at least a cordial relationship?? |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by naniawini(f): 4:46pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
mrjojo:yes this is d first time |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by naniawini(f): 4:46pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
mrjojo:I've called my uncle he'll be coming tomorrow |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by mrjojo: 4:55pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
naniawini:oh,I see. I really don't think you should involve the police just yet. You guys had a baby together, so at least there should be an iota of likeness Get your family involve with his family and come to an understanding. Don't forget he is also the father of the kid. BTW, has he been involve in the upkeep of the baby? What happened between you too? That will make people understand the situation more. |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by mrjojo: 4:55pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
naniawini:great |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by segzy0i(m): 11:41pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
I think u said earlier dt ur dad warned u neva to take dt child to him if a man is nt responsible fof d upkeep if a baby den he has no rite to the baby except he has been performing his duty as expected on d baby if nt pls fight ur course nd get ur baby 1 Like |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by baby124: 11:58pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
You did the right thing taking her to spend time with her father. So don't beat yourself up over that. They took advantage and abused that priviledge. Now it's time for you to take action and involve family, welfare office and police. Sad that his mother thinks she can raise another woman's child without her consent. Would she have taken such a thing lightly? Go through the legal route and get your baby back. A baby girl for that matter. So sorry about this. But keep calm, even when you go and meet them with police and family 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by naniawini(f): 4:48am On Nov 11, 2016 |
baby124:thanks, I'll do jst dat 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by babythug(f): 7:10am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Is the matter resolved now @OP? |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by Acidosis(m): 8:12am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Do not take a desperately harsh action yet. Get your family involved and let both families come to an agreement. There is a likelihood that you may win this case if you press legal actions. However, it is only a matter of time before you'd be denied complete access to your child. |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by dangotesmummy: 8:48am On Dec 02, 2016 |
naniawini:do that fast o before they take her to another town city or country No wonder women are always reluctant leaving their children with their fathers people. Some people will just be looking for unnecessary trouble By the way I'm having a feeling that the guy dated you or slept with you because he wanted a baby and now he has gotten the baby his mission is accomplished.involve your family, women ngos social media and the police very fast.there's still time 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by dangotesmummy: 8:49am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Acidosis:denied complete acess to her child? Why? 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by Acidosis(m): 9:12am On Dec 02, 2016 |
dangotesmummy: The father of the girl has absolute access to his daughter if the mother decides to get married to another man. However, not many men likes such responsibilities. |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by dangotesmummy: 9:27am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Acidosis:but she didn't say she was about getting married to another man or was already living with another man |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by Acidosis(m): 9:46am On Dec 02, 2016 |
dangotesmummy: Reason I advised her not to use any harsh medium yet. She will have her way today... What about tomorrow? I'm not in anyway encouraging the father and his family, but it could be that they are only reacting to past issues. You and I don't know the full story. May be the father needs more time with HIS daughter, may be the mother threatens never to allow HER daughter visit them again? |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by babythug(f): 9:47am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Acidosis: Is that so? I wonder why though?! In these kind of scenarios typically I find he children are still left with their mums though. |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by dangotesmummy: 9:53am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Acidosis:if that was the case the father should have said IT to the mother's face that madam o I want to bond with my daughter give me like xyz time than to be hiding the child. That action is enough to arouse suspicion that he's up to something unpleasant or ugly 1 Like |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by Onegai(f): 10:08am On Dec 02, 2016 |
babythug: Never heard of that rule but this is NL. Lots of weird info here. No-one will take a child from its mother unless they can prove she is a drug dealing hooker or neglects the child, even if she remarries. If the father files for full custody after the mother's remarriage, he has to prove that the new home won't be conducive to the child or the child will be take far away, he may be considered. Being the biological father of a child, especially when you didn't marry the mother, doesn't mean shishi. Naniawini, call your family and be heading there tomorrow to pick up your child. Pick up first, then discuss later. He has no legal rights to custody of the child, especially if he cannot show any proof of payment or money transfers for the upkeep of the child. Do you know you could have sued him for hospital bills, if you had the baby in Lagos state, he owes you the minimum of N45,000 for hospital bill (payment for GH fees is how they calculate it). But that's in the past. In the future, all family visits should be done in your home till they can prove trustworthy and Father has discharged his responsibility. If they start speaking too much English about why they cannot give you your daughter back, The Office of the Public Defender is on Western Avenue, on the right side heading to Ojuelegba. They will tell you which police station you need to go to, if things get ugly. Our Police officers don't know the law, so they can be speaking English too unless you grease their palms. Also, NGOs are a lot in Yaba area (i think), Police hate NGOs, they move faster when they show up. Have her birth certificate, pictures and a copy of your bank statements (as proof that he didn't transfer money to your account, though he could claim he gave you cash). Does this sound like a plan? 3 Likes |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by Acidosis(m): 10:28am On Dec 02, 2016 |
babythug: You don't see such happening because some men count it all joy when the mama disappears with the child. Most of the time, it is the children who go about searching for their daddy. A man can give birth to 10 children, different women and still claim SINGLE/VIRGIN at 45, so they hardly care. When a lady forcefully hides a child from his/her father, she's only hurting herself and the said child. It is only a matter of time. My advise to OP is to ensure that both families arrive at a reasonable conclusion. By this time tomorrow when things go beyond your ability, none of the so called police men or NGO would be available to rescue you. In fact, recession would have forced some to close shop. Do not show your weakness, but don't claim alpha and omega over a child that may someday grow to like her father more. Something definitely led to the sudden reaction from the father's side. Involve your family, and let them resolve. 1 Like |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by Onegai(f): 10:40am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Even in the village, the elders will return the child back to the mother and you will pay your fine of yams and other goods, for disturbing the peace. But we keep spouting sentimental nonsense. I don't gerrit, even my mama is not sentimental about stuff the way I see on NL and she's not a feminist somborri. Hian! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by babythug(f): 3:01pm On Dec 02, 2016 |
Onegai: Although this is somewhat deviating from the topic I've heard similar stories of children being forcefully taken from the mums by the fathers of the said children! Often times in conjuction with the said father's family. It's that Nigerian notion that children belong to their dad being played out here. Sometimes too it's to punish their mum for her perceived crimes which led to the separation between man and woman. I feel except where forcefully taken no woman should allow her young children unsupervised visits to the father or his family except one is sure the estranged a man and his family are sane people! |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by Onegai(f): 4:00pm On Dec 02, 2016 |
babythug: I met a young lady, who never attended any Tertiary institution (infact her secondary school was a govt one), who had her 2 children taken from her by an e who had done trad with her and then the marriage went bad. If she, relatively uneducated with minor resources and the man was better educated than her, could muster up common sense and strength to get NGOs and the Office of the Public Defender involved and win her children, then anyone who cannot do the same does not really want her kids back and should stop disturbing everyone's ears with ineffectual wailing. If one decides to act like a helpless chicken, someone will bring a sharp knife to cut your throat and pluck your feathers. 1 Like |
Re: I Need Ur Suggestions by babythug(f): 4:10pm On Dec 02, 2016 |
Onegai: I'm pleasantly surprised to hear this! The lady must have been desperate and I guess really determined. Wow! |
(1) (Reply)
Training! Training!! Training!!! / Guys, Marry An Educated, Intelligent Lady. E Get Why. / Heartrending Moment A Small Boy Attacks His Grandma In US (video)
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 65 |