My neighbour came back drunk. He has been knocking at his door for over 2hrs, and he stays alone. Should I go and tell him dat he is not around? Or tell him that he is sleeping?

Matured advice needed here

Una wicked ooo, 149 views and no comment... Oya make una take this one

I bought an egg from a shop. when I got home to prepare the egg, it was empty. I then took it back to the shop i bought it and complained. The shop keeper broke the eggs and all were empty then we took the complain to the poultry farm. When we got to the farm, the fowls saw us and started laughing. LOOK AT THIS STUPID PEOPLE, THEY DON'T KNOW WE HAVE STARTED USING CONDOM....

229 views, no comment, only one like, una try

Meanwhile...

Pls let's take things serious in this group. I consider every member of this group as a friend that's why I share a lot of personal information with a lot of members. Let this be the last time this would be happening or else I will leave this forum for good, it's not a threat. I know we are here for a common goal but we must have boundaries and respect for each other's private and personal lives. WHO GAVE MY NUMBER TO TRUMP?.... He just called me to invite me for his swearing in ceremony.

A couple had a quarrel one evening. When it was time to sleep, the man laid on the floor while the lady balanced on the bed.

Later in the night, the husband held his 'third leg' and said *"you better sleep, didn't you see when I quarreled with her?"*

The lady replied *"don't involve anybody in our quarrels ooo, the case is between me and you, don't involve him. Allow him to come and play with his friend."*

Bantino:
A couple had a quarrel one evening. When it was time to sleep, the man laid on the floor while the lady balanced on the bed.

Later in the night, the husband held his 'third leg' and said *"you better sleep, didn't you see when I quarreled with her?"*

The lady replied *"don't involve anybody in our quarrels ooo, the case is between me and you, don't involve him. Allow him to come and play with his friend."*

I love a woman that doesn't like involving third parties in quarrels too.. lol

Collinberg:

I love a woman that doesn't like involving third parties in quarrels too.. lol

Correct man

Two guys after boozing went to a bus stop but found a bus just leaving so they ran after it but there was only one seat left!!, Therefore only one guy boarded the bus.
The guy who was left behind started laughing till he fell on the ground..!!
Someone asked him as to know why he was left behind and laughing??
He replied, "the guy who boarded forgot that he was just seeing me off

Dear I'll comment.

very funny

VirginDiva:
Dear I'll comment.

After how many years...


I love what your dp says tho

VirginDiva:
Dear I'll comment.

Nice to have you here sweerie...

When I was small I was told that if I laugh at peoples conditions I will be like them. I've been laughing at DANGOTE, BILL GATES,
MARK ZUCKERBERG and nothing has changed or is it that I'm not laughing well?���

They say milk gives strength. I have taken 4 cups of milk and I was not even able to move a wall.
But when I drank 4 bottles of beer, I saw walls moving by themselves, these doctors are liars ooo

FIRST DATE!

It was my first time on a date.

I asked her out and she agreed. We went to a nearby park for a chat.

I searched in my pocket and only a N200 note was there.

I knew i had to buy us something. As a man I had to make a plan. I told her to wait for me while I went to buy us drinks.

With my N200 I bought only 1 fanta can. I took an empty sprite can and poured water direct from the tap into it.

I went back to my lady. A smile appeared on her face as she said: "Oh my lovely man how could you know that sprite is my favorite, I hate fanta... give me the sprite"

�����. If na u wetin u go do?

Venica:
very funny

Thanks Venica

[quote author=Bantino post=59336645][/quote]

*UNIVERSITY OF MARRIAGE FINAL YEAR MATHS EXAMS*

*Time*: *3Hrs 30MINS*

*INSTRUCTIONS:*
1 *_ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS_*

2 *_ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS_*

*1.* You are a married man and you have dated somebody's wife for *two* years, busy spending on her like there is no tomorrow. eventually she drops you and concentrates on her innocent husband. Calculate the percentage of time wasted. *(20 marks)*

*2.* You bought a phone for your friend's wife and she gave it to her husband. Using trigonometric identities, derive a general formula for this type of love. *(20 marks)*

*3. For Men* You're dating around 15 ladies and every lady is demanding for a Samsung Galaxy and an iPhone 6s
*(a)* Plot a graph of detoothers against prices of phones. *(15marks)*
*(b)* Use your graph to estimate your future poverty *(5marks)*
*(c)* Plot the percentage shame against volume of apologies to your family members. *(5 Mks)*

*4.* You are whatsapping and facebooking other people's wives yet you don't want to see your wife on the social network. Calculate the Percentage Error in your thinking capacity. *(20 marks)*

*5.* You are a *civil servant*, your wife is a petty trader, your combined household income is less than N1,000,000. Your daughter who is awaiting *WASSCE* result is using iPhone 6s and Samsung Galaxy worth N700,000 each. Calculate the Percentage of your Parental Negligence. *(20 marks)*

*6. *For ladies* You're a married woman and you have dated 20 guys with hard labour, use the law of diminishing Return to calculate the substance that will be left for your husband to enjoy. *(20 marks)*

*7.* You can't give your wife N10,000 for a pot of soup, but you spend over N50,000 in bars and restaurant.
Calculate the radius of your 'stupidity', take π=3.142 *(20 marks)*

8.* You have been praying for years but your name is not in the book of LIFE because of the secret sin. Calculate the years you will spend in HELL? (30 mark)

_*BEST OF LUCK!*_

*SECTION B: Theory.*
In one word give 5 reason why it is difficult for Ladies to propose.

Your Time Starts Now. But remember to share to all your friends because the question papers are not many to go round.

ifex370:


After how many years...


I love what your dp says tho

Thanks dear

[quote author=Bantino post=59336645][/quote] My knight

VirginDiva:
My knight

Missing ya a great deal

���
A little girl ran to her Mum and said "you refused to tell me the name of the thing hanging between dads legs, well I have finally figured it on my
own. ITS A TOOTHBRUSH."
Then Mum laughed and asked the daughter "who told you that?"the girl
replied,"When I came back from school,I saw the maid kneeling in front of Dad, brushing her teeth
with Dad's TOOTHBRUSH then I saw plenty of TOOTHPASTE in her mouth".........
............Wooooih!
#Yawa
��������
The maid's burial is this Saturday.
I will be there....�������� .