goingape1:
is it your home he is destroying

get this into your fragile skull! " his home"

"his home" and not your home!

why are you taking medicine for another's man problem!


the simple answer to the op question is to mind his business and keep his home in other not poking nose on another's man home!


for your first question, yes many nairaland women here are olushi and wife snatcher!

from experience

nubian999:


You really think being at home with your man will stop him from cheating on you? So there aren't women at home waiting for their husbands while he's in bed with a side chick

A man that cheats will cheat on you whether you are home or aboard. Why are you not understanding the fact that it's not her fault he cheated but his fault.

You are not old fashioned you're self hating. You would make an awful judge because you don't understand where the blame lays.

Her PHD from a university abroad will give her a step up in the job market. When she decides to leave that man she won't need to go back to her father's house.

adedayoa2:
sweet that orientation is very bad oooo.don't give up your dreams for love, what that woman should have done is stay close to home

MarieSucre:


Even if she was not, is that an excuse? So 2 wrongs make a right.

Caracta:

Take heart!
This your experience must have reduced your brain to nothing.

DarkRebel101:

MarieSucre:


Neither is it your home. but unlike you my view point is fighting so a home won't be broken up through HIV and death. What do you stand for?

MarieSucre:


I repeat men and women are not equal. Men are superior. Men are superior in discipline. If you cannot discipline yourself. Then speak for yourself alone. What is point of men being superior then if they are allowed to be weak in this way?

Amelian:




My orientation is not bad.. Am living my career dreams already. U know why? Cause I started early in life, focused on my studies , graduated from the University in an early age, went straight into entrepreneurship, I own 2 companies, no be brag... I made my First million at age 27years old and have set up women both single and married to be entrepreneurs and self independent.. God knows have made an impact in this world, cause most of. My proteges are all over the world, doing what I taught them, and they are making it.. Am hereally, am. Humble , because this is who I am.. I don't live fake life, or carry my achievements on. My head.. Everything have achieved so far is by God's grace.. And am single but dating a loving man who admires me in every way. And also guess what ?am just 31years old
Living my career dreams.

Fiwasayo:
Someone up there blaming the woman for the wrong doings of her man,smh... marriage is not all about seeing each other everyday and having sex every time,yes long distance relationships do work out,the wife is ambitious and trying to upgrade her life for herself and her family,and the man is shamelessly cheating on her....it's not about her not being in the country,if she were pregnant and couldn't have sex,he'll still cheat on her,anyhow,he'll still find some excuse to cheat on her. Marriage isn't for everyone.

nubian999:


You really think being at home with your man will stop him from cheating on you? So there aren't women at home waiting for their husbands while he's in bed with a side chick

A man that cheats will cheat on you whether you are home or aboard. Why are you not understanding the fact that it's not her fault he cheated but his fault.

You are not old fashioned you're self hating. You would make an awful judge because you don't understand where the blame lays.

Her PHD from a university abroad will give her a step up in the job market. When she decides to leave that man she won't need to go back to her father's house.

Amelian:






Am not hating anyone.. Have made a mark on my own through God's grace.. And anybody can have PhD. Simply read below:
And tell. Me who her PHD epp?

Am living my career dreams already. U know why? Cause I started early in life, focused on my studies , graduated from the University in an early age, went straight into entrepreneurship, I own 2 companies, no be brag... I made my First million at age 27years old and have set up women both single and married to be entrepreneurs and self independent.. God knows have made an impact in this world, cause most of. My proteges are all over the world, doing what I taught them, and they are making it.. Am here, am. Humble , because this is who I am.. I don't live fake life, or carry my achievements on. My head.. Everything have achieved so far is by God's grace..
And am single but dating a loving man who admires me in every way. And also guess what ?

am just 31years old
Living my career dreams.

merahki:



Sweet Lawd!
I have no words for a post as unfortunate as this....simply too stunned and stumped for words
...just know this- you have just betrayed the brain that God gave you, and all of us with that

DarkRebel101:


I am not a woman.

Second wife? You seem to have all the trappings of the archetypal African woman – small-minded and pitifully obsequious. You must also have been trained from childhood to kneel in servility at the foot of a man and to worship at his altar.

SMH. What you need is a mental lavation to blot out the slave mindset which society has wrongfully inflicted upon you.

dominique:


Where is the dislike button when you need one?
I don't think you're a female. You posted like the typical Nigerian man that will heap the blame of a failing marriage on the woman only.

CecyAdrian:


It's not like she went off to study all by herself, it was an agreement btw the man and wife hence the decision for her to travel with the kids and am very sure he is the one footing their bills over there, so the olosho of a husband is in full support.

And she has traveled, hopefully keeping to her end of the bargain with her studies and being a good wife and mother to their kids, while he is here trying to start a III world war in his family

RoadsAndGreen:
oh now i get where you coming but how does this change anything? life is not fair baby. no one chooses to be a male or female, beautiful or ugly. sex driven or not... everyone just want to be happy, by doing so we trample on others and cost them pain. finding the perfect solution to situations is best.

that's why I said both of them are wrong. in life you need to have scale of preference. you need to sacrifice dreams to fulfil other dreams. if you love your family you need to school closer.

goingape1:
most things in marriage are easily avoidable!


she most have know the type of man she is marrying before venture into that marriage.

don't tell me you won't know a cheating man miles away?

MizzD:
I'm actually more pissed at the comments here than the cheating spouse right now.

On one hand we have the mind your business ignorant crew who clearly read that the man has been having unprotected sex with this side chic thats got nothing on the wife in all standards. Yet same people will dispute stories about an entire family wiping off from the face of the earth due to exposure to HIV and AIDS from a philandering husband. I mean how low can a married man go exposing your beautiful family to such. This man has no regard for his wife and kids.

On the second hand we have eediots with no future ambition who think it's okay for a woman To let go her dreams and aspirations because she has to be by her husband like a monitoring spirit to prevent him from philandering. And then we wonder why we have few female professors, engineers and professionals when in this century many, including women(to my surprise) believe once your married as a woman that is the end of your dreams and aspirations. Your purpose is to worship your husband and ensure he never cheats on you. Jokers

Do people really think at all on this forum.? How can I be reading ignorant and extremely myopic comments in this age. Since when did distance become a determining factor for cheating.? What if one's spouse becomes ill for months? What if it was the hubby that travelled to give his family a better life (which usually occurs at one point or the other in a couple's life) and the wife becomes the Unrepentant cheat. Are we all going to blame him for doing so and then excuse the wife's behaviour?

For someone like Op to post this, he really must feel sad about the situation and holds his friend's wife in high regard. It's really unfortunate as this new karashika is even a threat to the family's existence right now as she has been making threats already.

My advice is that you hint the wife about this even if it has to be anonymous so she can at least come home briefly to assess the situation of things and make he decisions. There's no point asking you to talk to your friend as it's obvious it's not working.

Lastly, you might want to distance yourself from such a friend as well and let him know you can't keep being a friend with his reckless lifestyle. I just hope he doesn't realise the harm he's doing too late.

Urukpe:



Yes it does sometimes. In science negative times negative is positive. lol

Amelian:
It's a pity, some married women are like that... They will leave their husband, travel abroad for further studies and I usually ask, this PHD or masters u are going for? Please enlighten me, what do u intend to do with it? They will say they just want to have higher degrees.
I shake head for those wives.. Later they will start crying wolf, saying can u imagine her husband has married another woman.. May the almighty God give them sense to see the havoc they are creating in their homes.

Op, your friend is lonely. And even if the wife travels with the next flight back home to fight her husband. Cos He is the only person she can fight for now.. After telling her sorry dear, with sweet words and she travels back.. He will still go back to his girlfriend.. And the girlfriend is determined to be his wife.. So my dear, the situation is messy already.

MarieSucre:


No both of them are not wrong. One of them is wrong. The woman is not breaking her marriage vows anymore than the man would if he were the one travelling abroad for his masters. The man is defiling his matrimonial bed. Call a ♠ a spade and stop making excuses for adultery.

ephi123:


That particular comment was not referring to this case but to your statement of a man who lacks self-control and integrity. And I maintain such a person will cheat regardless.

Why should a woman be the one responsible for her husband's decision to cheat or not cheat. It is very unfair that a man who should be leader and head of the house will need his wife to exercise control over him not to cheat! Is he a puppet? Is she a super power? In any case we can see that does not even work, cos if it did, we would have many more faithful married men in Nigeria. Ultimately, it is the man's decision.

nubian999:


You really think being at home with your man will stop him from cheating on you? So there aren't women at home waiting for their husbands while he's in bed with a side chick

A man that cheats will cheat on you whether you are home or aboard. Why are you not understanding the fact that it's not her fault he cheated but his fault.

You are not old fashioned you're self hating. You would make an awful judge because you don't understand where the blame lays.

Her PHD from a university abroad will give her a step up in the job market. When she decides to leave that man she won't need to go back to her father's house.

MarieSucre:


So it's now her fault? Why can't men take responsibility for once.

-She did not pamper me well.
-She did not fly from a storey building and die.
-She did not dress like Kim Kardashian.

What about you? Yes you? Will your leg break if you decide to be a good person?
Or are you excusing the man's cheating?

SmartyPants:


You are somehow contradicting yourself. If you say a man who would cheat, will always cheat, then he would surely cheat with or without "a convenient excuse".

Since according to the OP, this behavior started only when the "convenient excuse" presented itself, it still boils down to exactly what i said before:

If you know your man has such a weakness, then do not give him the "convenient excuse" that he needs to indulge himself.

cc tintingz