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Hard Choice - Romance - Nairaland

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Hard Choice by fmsasha: 2:23am On Nov 26, 2016
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I am in a relationship with a 34year old guy and I am 25 and to be truth full he is what you will call a good guy. He is caring doesn't demand much from me supports my dream and even kept to my rule of no sex before marriage.
The issue now is that I  am not in love with him. Although I do like him and appreciate the kind of love he has shown me for the past two years, I am not in love with him  like I expect to be with someone I intend to spend the rest of my life with. He is a simple guy , not handsome but presentable . The issues I have with him is that he looks his age and it bothers me at times that I feel as I am dating a very old person. he doesn't earn much  which does not allow him to spend money on himself to dress well and look fsshionable .Also he is not the going out type as he is a Doctor and most times busy at the clinic. 
I had a boy friend before him , whom  I was so in love with that when we broke up becauae he wasn't ready to commit  I felt my world had stopped.  
I want to love  like that again and not settle because I feel he is a good man that almost everyone is searching for.

Do you think I am not wise for trying to give him up in order to find someone I truely love that's closer my age?
Re: Hard Choice by kinggogo: 2:44am On Nov 26, 2016
Buh if he has d cash nd brushes himself up very well and also a bit younger, u'll probably b in love with him shey undecided

Well, if u gonna break up with him jst b damn sure ur reasons r genuine undecided
Re: Hard Choice by ikp120(m): 3:02am On Nov 26, 2016
Why not? Just break up with him and stop wasting his time, energy and destiny... There's a lady out there who is madly in love with that guy, but he doesn't even know that his so called girlfriend doesn't even love him as much as that other babe giving him green light... Abeg just free him joor... For that guy mind he has a girlfriend... Thank God I'm single and flirting grin grin
Re: Hard Choice by sconp: 3:31am On Nov 26, 2016
There are two things you can decide to do:

1. Brush him up
2. Let him go


1. From your post one could deduct that you don't love him because he's not as presentable as you want him to be. You want a guy who you would confidently present to your friends. A guy that would make them nod their heads in approval and applaud you. Since he's a good man like you said have you tried subtly to make him presentable? If it would be possible, go shopping with him, select clothes that you know would look good on him(clothes that are pocket friendly). Subtly convince him to iron his clothes that it would make him look dapper and that you care about how he looks. etc Certain people at some point of their lives weren't presentable until they were either brushed up by someone or saw the need to look better themselves.

2. If it's too much of a hassle walk away, because he's probably planning for marriage. It's better you tell him early that you aren't feeling the vibe of the r/ship anymore, than waste his time (he doesn't have much of it left according to society).

To walkaway or to work on him is your decision to make.
Re: Hard Choice by dingbang(m): 5:14am On Nov 26, 2016
Sometimes these sorta posts just make me want to chop and clean mouth..



Your ex, who was a jerk then, you were busy giving it to him different manner of sex styles. Now you have a God fearing guy and all of a sudden, you are now a reverend sister.



See God is watching all of u.



Mchew! I can just decide now to forget abt it all, afterall it won't take anythn from me. Life goes on
Re: Hard Choice by fmsasha: 7:02am On Nov 26, 2016
sconp:
There are two things you can decide to do:

1. Brush him up
2. Let him go


1. From your post one could deduct that you don't love him because he's not as presentable as you want him to be. You want a guy who you would confidently present to your friends. A guy that would make them nod their heads in approval and applaud you. Since he's a good man like you said have you tried subtly to make him presentable? If it would be possible, go shopping with him, select clothes that you know would look good on him(clothes that are pocket friendly). Subtly convince him to iron his clothes that it would make him look dapper and that you care about how he looks. etc Certain people at some point of their lives weren't presentable until they were either brushed up by someone or saw the need to look better themselves.

2. If it's too much of a hassle walk away, because he's probably planning for marriage. It's better you tell him early that you aren't feeling the vibe of the r/ship anymore, than waste his time (he doesn't have much of it left according to society).

To walkaway or to work on him is your decision to make.
My fear is that what if I brush him up and still feel the same way
Re: Hard Choice by sconp: 7:06am On Nov 26, 2016
fmsasha:

My fear is that what if I brush him up and still feel the same way
You never know till you try wholeheartedly.

If there's no change then you walk away.
Re: Hard Choice by thowbie7ven(m): 7:15am On Nov 26, 2016
Use scrubbing brush and not toothbrush...u'll definitely see the changes yourself
fmsasha:

My fear is that what if I brush him up and still feel the same way
Re: Hard Choice by Mekzyzeus(m): 7:52am On Nov 26, 2016
People like you are the reason guys eventually becomes assholes to other good girls.
"He's not presentable, He doesn't earn much" ?? Oh really ??
If you aint in love with him, breakup already and stop leading the young man on!!
But remember..Karma is real. In the nearest future, you will probably be praying for that "good hard working considerate young man" I pray it doesn't happen to you though
Re: Hard Choice by fmsasha: 9:32am On Nov 26, 2016
Mekzyzeus:
People like you are the reason guys eventually becomes assholes to other good girls.
"He's not presentable, He doesn't earn much" ?? Oh really ??
If you aint in love with him, breakup already and stop leading the young man on!!
But remember..Karma is real. In the nearest future, you will probably be praying for that "good hard working considerate young man" I pray it doesn't happen to you though

Is hoping to find someone I truly love now a crime
Re: Hard Choice by Mekzyzeus(m): 10:32am On Nov 26, 2016
fmsasha:

Is hoping to find someone I truly love now a crime

Not a crime darling. But ya going about it the wrong way. Maybe you ain't really ready for a serious committed relationship as afrometioned by you. Continue looking for the "snoopLion and WizKid" kinda boyfriend.

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