Corporate Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs
downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next
door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says,
"I'll give you $800 to drop that towel,"
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and
leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and
goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,
"Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything
about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical
information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure.


Corporate Lesson 2:

A priest offered a lift to a Nun.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to
reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling
the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears,
he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm
129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is
weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to
look up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will
find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in
your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Corporate Lesson 3:


A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the
manager are walking to lunch when they find an
antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one
wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk.
"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to
be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal
masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the
love of my life." Poof! He's gone.


"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the
office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the
first say.


Corporate Lesson 4:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and
rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very high up.




Corporate Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to Get to the top of that
tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the
energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?"
replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that
it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he
reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly
perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey
out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the
top, but it won't keep you there.