PROLOGUE or abi nah EPILOGUE


I just graduated from d university,finding a house in delta state was not easy especially in d city of warri.i contacted many agents just to look for the perfect apartment,but all i could find was either a rough looking apartment or an unpleasant apartment.
I finally got a good looking place to leave but it was in a bad enviroment and a funny one too,funny in d sense that i lived in a compound where everyone had tongue and behavioural issues.
PA JAMES--->formally known as ose(urhobo language which means old man or father).pa james is my landlord who claims to be the wisest man in our quatter.he has two wives,and dis urhobo tongue that makes him pronounce words funny like near as in yearn,and cutlass as in cocklass e.t.c,
mama abi-->she is an ijaw woman,who always thinks,since i was a graduate i knew everything.she has marital problems with husband because every 5am she wakes up d neighbourhood with quarrel issues.she always pronouce d word j as z,like joshua as zosuwa

MR CHINEDU-->mr chinedu also known as shortest,is a short corect and proper igbo man who loves acting big and high in the crowd(common with all short men)he stresses every word he says,words like country he pronouces it as contery and thirteen as tarteen.
IYENE-->Iyene is the comedian of the neighbourhood,he is an mc,he's the only one close to me in this compound,he speaks like his tongue was cut off when he was a boy.he call water-wara,something-somerin etc.this akwa ibom man takes everything funny,even serious matters.
PROFFESOR ADE;ADe IS A LECTURER WHO MIXES ENGLISH LANGUAGE WITH YORUBA.he likes setting up an argument and settling it with his big slangs.well proff ade always annoy me with his white garment and no shoes,only God knows if he is an OLUMBA Or celestial member

gud evening everybody,it looks like i am d 1st 2 comment here,dis tori go sweet oo abeg continue people go still land 4 here,tori wey go sweet lyk dis,go reach front page very soon

K...Following

Before i continue i would like to know your opinion.SHOULD SEX SCENES BE INCLUDED

CHAPTER 1(MR BABALAWO)
Foolish man,stupid man,your mates are getting ready for work,and you are still asleep,after you finish sleeping,you go wake up come chop shit abi were d words that woke me up.i did not put up my alarm that morning,bcus i knew mama abi would wake me up with her issues with her husband,and she did.i checked my time it was 5am,i could still hear her arguments with her husband even though her house was 2 floors away from mine.i did chores that morning ,i started with sweeping my room and enviroment,bcus i lived in a bed sitter.i settled down to eat my food i prepared to eat before now.i served my beans and plantain in my breakable plate,when i heared a big bang on my door.with shock the plate fell from my hands,and shattered into pieces on the ground.i was angry at the person bcus that was the only food i prepared to eat b4 i leave for work that morning.i marched and stamp the floor angrily as i went to open the door.

ME;Who is banging my door like this'this morning.
OSE;omoh me na me isi pa james,your landlord,i want to tell you somesin.
I opened d door to let him in
ME;wetin b d matter oga landlord,i said kindly.
OSE;we has meetings today for my hass(house)na em 7pm.
ME;IS THAT ALL SIR
OSE;em wetin u talk just now
ME;na wetin u wan tell me be dat
OSE:oh yes my pikin
Pa james left my house after advicing me of the area and shortcuts.i left for work with my hungry stomach only to meet prof at the gate.
PROFF;My freind will you come back here.
ME:oh sir good morning how is the family
PROFF;Save your rambitous greetings for your self,so young lad,cant u greet ur elders when u see them in da morning.
MENAH ONLY GOD KNOW IF WETIN HIM TALK GET MEANING)I THOUGHT.ahh no its not like that sor
PROFF:Why d use of ahhh are you a yoruba man.
ME:no sir,pls i have to leave now(BCUS I KNEW HE WAS FINDING FAULT IN.NAH ONLY YORUBA DEY USE AAH)

FollowingFollowingFollowing

CONTINUATION

i quickly rushed out of the compound and enterred a taxi,bcus i knew if i stayed there any longer it would result to an argument between me nd proff.
The ride was going smoothly until we reached a point where we saw cars reversing backward screams of "arm robber arm robber" was echoing in the enviroment everyone in the taxi quickly flew out including the driver.i ran as fast as i could,because the sounds of gun shot all over the place was terrible.

i sudenly jumped into a fenced compound only to meet serious wahala

welcome my money making machine i heared,i looked around only to see red and white materials and clothes.

i knew i was in trouble or not really in trouble

CHAPTER 2 TOMMOROW

since its 16+ i dont know if i should include sex scences or not.

dis tori go sweet wella make i quick sidon

.

CHAPTER 2(ROAD TO HEAVEN)

I Turned my back to look at who was calling me a money making machine,only to see a man with red and white cloth with chalk abi nah powder all over his face.
Blood of jesus i screamed and fainted on that spot.
i was awoken by water sprinkles on my face,i turned my back to see directors,camera's and costume e.t.c.that was when i knew they were acting a movie and i entered their compound or movie stage to disrupt their programme.They gave me something to eat and some drugs,i left the compound feeling embarassed only to see everywher busy like nothing happened.i checked my time it was past nine.that was the time i knew,to live in warri you gatta shine your eyes because you fit sell yourself you nor go know.
i called my boss and explained my trauma to him.he told me to come the next day and leave very early to avoid trouble.
i decide to branch the market to get a gotv and a tv set.

i entered a store with a big sign board,i saw a weird looking man shouting from inside coming to meet me.
WEIRD LOOKING MAN;papa abi go and attend to my customer
PAPA ABI:oboy nah u
ME:oh sir you work here
PAPA ABI:yes ooh am a man of sos(such) dignity even though some people zelos(jealous) me.so what do u want to buy
ME:how much is your gotv and lg tv over there.

we bargained price and i paid.i stayed there much longer because no taxi agreed to carry my loads to my area claiming it was a bad place,until a keke driver agreed after explaining to him,and him placing a high amount on my loads.
DRIVER:abeg oga i wan pass this shortcut make i quick quick comot for here.
ME:why ona dey fear dis place sef
DRIVER:chairman we nor dey fear am oooh,but dis ur load go cus trouble.
ME;wetin u mean
DRIVER:if all these bad guys see these loads nah trouble oooh.


Our conversation was interrupted by a truck of cultists who drive to our front and brought us out.

The driver kept on shouting blood of jesus al these while until a heavy skap was loaded on his face,which made him pee on his trousers.
The boys then came to my direction and pointed a gun on my head telling me to bring my wallet.one kind of courage came on me and i refused to give it to him.he started counting to ten and i started remembering what pa james was telling me about shortcuts.i was awakened from my thoughts by the sound of ten,and the trigger was pulled.the driver fainted on the spot,i touched my head and i saw a red liquid rushing from my head.


so nah so i wan tey knack heaven i thought or maybe it was a dream.....

kk thanks i will write on the sex part from chapter 5 but i wont go into details

CHAPTER 3

i slaped my self continously to know if i was dreaming or not,i percieved a familiar smell of tomatoes,i touched my head again,behold it was tomatoes.
So this boys dey use tomatoes gun dey threaten me.chaii na so dem don bring me down reach.
Freeze were the words that flashed into our ears,iyene saw my battle with the gangs on his way home and rescued me by calling d police(naija police don dey beta).This guy just saved my life.
I owe u one man i told him.
i finally reached home safely i droped my appliances,prepared something to eat and laid on my bed,thinking about how the driver ran away without his keke nape(tricycle)just bcus of fear.
Within some few minutes i slept off and was woken up by pa james daughter voice.(linda)

LINDA(PA JAMES DAUGHTER):New tenant its time for meeting oooh.
MAMA ABI:shut up is(his) name is zohn(john) dont u have respect.
IYENE:Abeg yohn(john) nors mind ram(am) she no get resket.
Nah so my neighbours spoil my name for me until we reach landlord house.

PA JAMES:Before i scat(start) dose of u piple wen hass no tile.....he hissed...abeg make i talk am for my englis.make ona nor ves if i neva tile your hass.Remember the patiiience dog chop the fattest bone.
IYENE:ogia lanlor wis patient yog(dog),ehn,that one nor work,cus d wise yog don sop the meat finis e kon leave bone for d patient yog.
PA JAMES:Akwa ibom kiyose (close) ur mouth.
CHINEDU:akwa ibom sharrap,u nor dey know wen n'persone n'serious
IYENE:ibo my rane(name) nor be akwa iboms,my rane nah e iyene for your consigns.
MAMA ABI:Ona nor dey shame,quarreling like babies,abeg landlord tell dem i wan go cook ooo.
PA JAMES:em em make una sottup(shut up) there.i call ona bcus end of year don yearn,so i wan high hass went(rent).

we chorused,"shewoo "ose dat one nor go work",for which house,"th at one wen dey neva tile.words of complaints were ranting in the air.but pa james didnt change his mind,either you comot for my land or u pay my money.
After the meeting we all went to our various homes complaining.
+++++++++++++++++++++++

it has happened oooooh
it has happened.
come outside neighbours,they don kill my husman for me oooh.
Ose wife was crying out loud(she was quite educated).
I went towards d body to check if it was really pa james.i checked my time it was 11pm.
I Turned the body see the face,but it was d worstest of all.

"JESU" the whole neighbourhood screamed it was...........

part 4 later or maybe 2morrow

following......

nice story... Better include sex scenes' o


for bigger audience

Kentura:
nice story... Better include sex scenes' o for bigger audience

KK Thanks i will from chapter 5

Chapter 4(hospital jam doctor)

it was actually pa james,but his face was burnt badly,that was why we all chorused"jesu",his face was gushing out blood.i learnt it was a result of gas but when i was told the real story i felt dissapointed and left the gathering immediately.
Ahh wednesday morning so cool and sweet,i turned on my hometheater,dancing to the rythms of pull over by iyanya,sudenly my music stop.shit it was nepa.i could hear the whole neigbourhood insulting them.i burst into laughter when i heared iyene calling nepa"LEPA",and pa james wife calling nepa"yearnpa".The thought of pa james spoiled my laughter,when i heard he planned on cheating on his wife,and his plan resulted to fire.chinedu told me that he bought the gas cooker for his mistress not his wife,and he was doing a test run when it resulted to fire.i felt dissapionted and picked up my phone to call my secetary,when i saw 8 missed call.it was my mom.

I knew if i called her back,she would start disturbing me with daughter in law issues,and me my self,i never believed in love,and didn't imagine i would.
ME;hello momsi
MOMSI:john how u dey
ME:i dey ooo,how dat side
MOM;every thing dey coole for here,so when u dey come this side,christmas don dey near ooo
ME:momsi nor worry i go reach dat side before 20th of dis month.
MOMSI:when you dey come with my wife,or i go force u marry d one wen i dey keep for u here ooo
ME:mama abeg forget that one first.
MOMSIshouting)so u nor was give me grandpikin ehn,u wan kill me b4 my time abi,nor near dis house if u nor go carry wife come.(cuts call)
ME:momsi nor talk like that now,u nor go die,u dey hear me,hello hello.
Chaii i realized my mom has cut the call see me see wife wahala i said.I prayed to God to visit me with a wife because i am now 26 year old,i dont know if this prayer was right but i prayed to GOD to make me fall in love,b4 i left for work,even though my mind was against it.

I arrived at the hospital(where i work)only to see the nurses insulting a pregnant woman at the point of delivery as usual.
Nurse1:abeg madam nor dey shout for my ear
Nurse2:u dey craze,i tell u say i dey sweat,nor blow me breeze abeg.
Nurse3:waka for u go dey do like something wen nor get leg,i send u born pikin,wen d thing dey sweet u abi u like am.
The woman couldn't take it anymore,so she landed a big slap on the third nurse face.i couldn't help it,so i burst into laughter.i didn't involve myself in the matter,because the last time i did,i remained speechless that week,and almost lost my job.i watched the third nurse as she walked away,pointing a finger at the pregnant woman,meaning she would get back at her.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
BOSS/MANAGER:john i av been thinking of changing u from an intern to a qualified doctor at my hospital.i am giving you the chance to do your first operation,dont let me down
ME:oh my GOD,thank u sir,i promise not to let you down.

I finished the operation and dismissed the nurses.i started gathering my instruments only to find out that the scissors,was missing.i hope i didn't leave it in his(my patient) stomach,something told me to check under the bed and i did.i thanked God for letting the scissors to be under the bed.just for me to get up from under the bed,i heared my phone ringing.i checked my pocket it was not there.

Chineke meh ooo,i don kill person my phone was inside.............

FOR 18+ VERSION OF THIS STORY CHECK MY PROFILE BY CLICKING ON MY NAME.

NOTE:18+ CONTINUES FROM CHAPTER 4

Normal height of a 16 year old boy in m

More update coming up 2moro

CHAPTER 5(Hospital jam doctor2)
i placed my head on the patients stomach only to hear my phone ringing from there.
Chineke meh,i by force speak igbo from my mouth.i lifted the patient up only to see the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.the patient was lying on top of the phone.the nurses were wondering why i was dancing.they thought it was bcus of my successful first operation.
Nurse angelina abeg give me register make i sign dey go house,6 don knack o'clock i said.
NURSE ANGELINA:fine bobo u neva talk wen u go carry me comot,go shop rite.
ME:shop wetin,nor be only shoprite,nah shopwrong.
NURSE ANGELINA:fine bobo why u nor dey show me face.
ME:my name nah john my mama nor give me fine bobo.
NURSE ANGELINA:even though doctor john u nor wan marry.
ME:even though i wan marry,dey tell u say i dey look for panla(dry fish)
That word upset her badly,because she gave me the register angrily.

Me,myself i didn't care because i just picked up the register and signed without giving her any consign or attention.i arrived at my compound only to meet sasha banks and roman reign contesting for warri champion belt.
mama abi and her husband were at war again,fighting like mad people,i turned my neck to the other side to see chinedu the referee advising mama abi to kick her husband in his penis.when papa abi heared this,he used his left hand to protect his penis and used his second hand to do his punching work.i turned my neck to the left to see iyene the camera-man video shooting them with his nokia touchlight.i walked passed them shaking my head,i started thinking of the day and why i choosed to stay in this compound.i was about opening my door when i heard"zohn e don happen"i turned my back to see papa abi holding his penis screaming"15 minutes"continously.mama abi kicked his penis and she was still begging me to help her solve her problem abi nah mistake.