must u do this white wedding of a thing even wen u hv no kobo in ur account to fall back on after d whole mery merry ? dnt tell me u r depending on wat u will be given after the marriage

This requires serious thinking before you go ahead.
(1) You two sit together and decide what you want. Put off the wedding if you two can't reach definite agreements or don't believe you have the discipline to follow them through.
(2) If you two can agree, there is no need to postpone the wedding - people don't need to be comfortable to get married. If you two can take care of yourselves individually, coming together should not increase your cumulative needs, right? And then you will have the advantage of pulling resources and having division of labour, allowing efficiency from each individual at home and should you decide to start a joint business.
(2) Make financial plans and projections. Is one of you or the both of you the working type(s)? Are you business oriented?
(2) I know of a church where they pay for the wedding. If that is not your church, you two go to the registry in the company of few family members, sign the papers and go home from there - if possible.
(3) Live low profile - small apartment, no expensive stuff and all.
(3) Postpone having children (unless you live in one of those villages where everyone helps everyone and the Local Authority PS or Ansar-U-Deen would do just fine for the kids).
Good luck!

nethacker:

must u do this white wedding of a thing even wen u hv no kobo in your account to fall back on after d whole mery merry ?   dnt tell me u r depending on wat u will be given after the marriage  

actually they are depending on magic,

religion don make God look like magician for africa, people no dey use their head anymore, the oyibo people wey bring christianity  dey use their head well well, why we africans still remain backward and brainwashed

brain wey God give us to use make sensible decision.
this topic and some of the answers are the reason why nigeria is still backward

@lovemoi2

You got a big mouth.

as long as u trust in god!!! he can make things all things possible,

blapo:

@lovemoi2

You got a big mouth.

i am just realistic, if you call that big mouth, you are just living in denial

religious fanatics refuse to see the truth

small mouth

lola19:

as long as u trust in god!!! he can make things all things possible,

even if u dnt PLAN? No food for lazy man we all know dat so ?

lovemoi2:

i am just realistic, if you call that big mouth, you are just living in denial

religious fanatics refuse to see the truth

small mouth

Good response

nothing impossible,so far she is willing 2 help IN ALL WAYS necessary

lol @ lotto

stable waste of money is what is lotto

@ poster, are you looking for money for the marriage or money for the marital life? if it's the former, then, it shouldn't be a problem cos you won't be required to do it all alone. everyone chips in - you, your fiance, your family, your in-laws. if it's the latter, then, you should really think about it because this is one of the reasons why majority of marriages don't last. Finance is a very important thing to consider before marriage.

getting married and postponing childbirth is easier said than done. it's like you want your folks and your church to do retreat for you abi? besides, how old are you guys? when you say the income is not stable, are you guys contractors? like analytical said, we need more info so as to advice you appropriately.

you might be able to take care of yourselves after the marriage but what about the children when they start coming? you'll have to consider pampers, clothes, school fees, more food etc. please, think about this carefully before you proceed. i pray God grants you the wisdom to do the right thing.

Na wah o!See liver!
Even peeps making a few thousand pounds a month are hesitant,
please tell us
from where you get that kain liver?
except of course you are in kano hoping to raise a few more almajiris

Postpone the wedding.

Its common sense.

yeswecan:

Pray to GOD for good life, not for money to waste one day, who said you must spend all your earnings that day? who? convention i guess

Lets say you are suppose to spend 300k for pretense(borrow cars, feed people etc), after your weeding your wife can start something with that 300k . This is the logic the average man doesn't have,  possibly why the rich are getting richer.

We have to stop artificial public image, look at the mirror everyday, there is no delusion like self delusion, PLAY YOUR POSITION your real position. Someone said you should save money for your weeding, nonsense. Take your wife to the church on a normal day get the blessing with your parents take her home. Don't care what anyone think or say, they will always do. You won't spend any money. You don't have to borrow cars, and create false public image, that's nonsense. Play your real position and face life don't be deceived my dear.

There is life after marriage and it isn't worth all the pretense of borrowing cars and wasting of money. 30k should be able enough for a quiet weeding. Don't be lost in another person's own, this is yours and do it the right way (Reflection of you) be proud of your position.

Nigerians are too competitive and we end up living life for everyone but us.

Well said

True, but Sucess shouldnt be determined if you marry or not.
I wouldnt discourage a marriage because you not stable, you never know tommorow.

Sit down together, weigh your options and make a decisio.

Its depend on were they are and were they are both coming from, befor now they have been eaten and living, nothing is impossible with faith,

A friend of mine got married when we were serving has a youth corper, we all thought that he was making the greatest mistake of his life but To God Be The Glory, they both are doing fine right now,

The most important thing is careful planning but spendless on wedding, its dose't worth it,

I suggest you really consider your decision to marry now.

Marriage is indeed a good thing however, a lot is needed to sustain it, one of which is finance. You have to consider whether you want to be extremely comfortable in your home or whether you'll prefer to live from hand-to-mouth (struggling to make ends meet). The ball is in your court.

Besides what are the reasons why you choose to get married with no steady income source from either party?

If you are not chicken hearted & you are ready to take some risk (risk meant here is NOT engaging in any illicit biz), get back to me i will tell you how to ballon ur bank account in 3 months time. If u stay in Abj, u will hv the opportunity of meeting me eyeball to eyeball.

jobiorah@yahoo.com

@OP
Then dont marry. Period

Funny how people reduce every serous issue to jokes.

If the poster is right, I will have love to askk her what she meant by working hard. In my own little understanding, I feel she was saying they dont have a job that is paying big or they are managing with something.

If my assumption is correct, I see no reason why they can't get married. People who are condemning jobless couples have forgotten certain things:
1. Many people get married with job and eventually lose the job, especially when only one oartner was working;
2. Many of the most suceessful men in the world actually married when they have nothing! I am wondering why we dont read history. Many people who we count on weren't rich at the time of their maraige;
3. There are thousands of people tha married with neither partners having any job at all. and a serious prportion of them actually made it. I knwo alot in this category including a lady who married a workng man only for the man to die when she is pregnant with her second child while she is yet to have a job! She went on to become successful and has been raising the kids now while putting them in one of the bst schools in Lagos. Yet she had tough begining.
4

the problem with most of us is that we tend to get frighten at the prospect of suffering even though a majority of us are suffering already. T

To to the best of my knowledge and experience, it doesnt matter how or where ou start. What matter is who you are . If you are hardworking and know how to navigate the tide of time and turn around your situation, it will b folish of you to delay your time just because you ant to make it as a millionnaire.

my friends, I strongly believe tha the best marrauge are those that have wonderful partners tha trust one another, yet while working hard toward achieving their goals. Life become more nteresting f we know how to fight and defeat obstacles ahead of us.

I recalled that my parents gave birth to me when they have nothing. No job and they never forget to raise us up and gave us the best they an afford. Today they are o pauper and they can sit back and smileat the past.

Youths of now aday are quick to point out the povwery level in Africa and number of children as if marraige is all about raring children. If the couple know what they truly want, they an marriy and delay the raising of kids while they work together to build their homes.


E go beta

@poster

in as much as i wouldnt advice you not to get married now due to lack of funds. but if you are willing to go ahead with it. then place and make it lowkey. you dont spend what you dont have and dont go borrowing because he who goes aborowwing goes a sorrowing.

just go to the registry with you parents, siblings and 1 or 2friends and seal the deal there and go back home chop rice and chicken or food you can make infact you can do it the way oyinbos do it here. just make sandwich, sausage, crips, biscuits with coke. and ribena mixed with water inside 50litres of party filter. every one present, eat and go to their house chikena.

and in future when you guys are financially buoyant enough you can renew your marriage vows again in grand style.

@OP
If you had entered for Etisalat 9jillions Promo,sure your story would have changed!

lovemoi2:

actually they are depending on magic,

religion don make God look like magician for africa, people no dey use their head anymore, the oyibo people wey bring christianity  dey use their head well well, why we africans still remain backward and brainwashed

brain wey God give us to use make sensible decision.
this topic and some of the answers are the reason why nigeria is still backward

God bless you girl!!! I pray and wish my people would become as wise as U are,,,Until people change d way they look at things,,,the way things look at them would never change,,

"Any religion that tells you God is solely responsible for ur actions or inactions is an irresponsible religion,,,,When a man or woman does not have the ability to earn,,,marriage should be the last thing on their minds,,,why bringing destitute into this world in the name of religion,,,,,

hey girl
Though i do not know the type of job your guy does, but i believe the two of you can come together and have a happy home. There are different types of weddings, you can have a low key wedding and plan your life together. Make use of good family planing till you can raise a child and do not have plenty of them. Probably just have two. Do not be lazy, find out what both of you are good at and do it very well. This may not be the best advice but i believe you can learn one or two things from it.

is it that you are so much of age that you cant wait 

if so,dont make much noise about you wedding.

i think palour-wedding will be OK for you.

but dont be pregnant except you have stable money to care for yuorself and the baby.

abeg no wed without a solid source of income. postpone your wedding until both of you get a stable job if you don't won't ur progeny to suffer with you in abject poverty. GET RICH . WITH God nothing is impossible. you can also search available job opportunities on nairaland home page

No stable income and you want to what? 
You think marriage is a picnic? 

ARE YOU COMPETING WITH SOMEONE ? WEDDING IS A CAPITAL INTENSIVE PROJECT,
I FEEL YOU SHOULD Think OF A STABLE MEANS OF INCOME BEFORE THE WEDDING, I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES BUT I DONT THINk YOU SHOULD TAKE THAT TYPE OF RISK

spoilt:

No stable income and you want to you?
You think marriage is a picnic?

Haba sis, does it mean two peeps can't marry if they desire to. I'm sure they are of age.
Only thing is they shouldn't try to 'borrow' in order to wed. They simply do what they can
afford. A celebration with just family members and very few friends.
As long as they both work, sooner or later their luck may shine. They can afford to organize
a bigger wedding like we see peeps do that time.

Awee:

ARE YOU COMPETING WITH SOMEONE ? WEDDING IS A [b]CAPITAL INTENSIVE PROJECT,[/b]I FEEL YOU SHOULD THING OF A STABLE MEANS OF INCOME BEFORE THE WEDDING, I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES BUT I DONT THING YOU SHOULD TAKE THAT TYPE OF RISK

Considering the bold phrase, it is not necessarily so. A wise person will only cut his coat according to his cloth.

What kind of wedding was that?

@dearie,blapo,larimo,yeswecan and the rest of you guys that said they should go ahead and marry, i'm on your side.
i think they should go ahead and have a low keyed marriage eg, a court marriage.the poster said (no stable income), not( no money).
so, who says they can not work things out for themselves?according to the poster, they are both hard working couple.
Abi poor man no suppose marry again?