Under Nigerian law, importation of the following agricultural products is prohibited.

1. Water: Water is a universal solvent that is found everywhere in adequate quantity. But some some people still import it to Nigeria. Even you my distinguished readers can recall that the last time you were on transit through that Seme border, you unapologetically kept bottled water packs by the driver's seat. Thank your star that I was not given employment in the Nigeria Custom Service last recruitment exercise.

2. Soaps and Detergents: I know you want to ask me whether soap is an agricultural product or not. You should know that soap is made by a process called saponification. Saponification is defined as alkaline hydrolysis of fat and oil. And how do you obtain fats and oils? Your guest is as good as mine. Going through Nigeria Custom Service's website for prohibited items, I knelt down to thank God having save me from jail terms...you know during my return journeys from Abidjan, I usually fill my bags with those fancy soaps.

3. Live or Dead Birds including Frozen Poultry: I pray our government won't lift ban on this product soon. My friend just acquired a loan from one microfinance bank and started a poultry enterprise. Should he fail in this business, that will herald the end of my weekend's chop-and-clean-mouth paroles in his house.

4. Pork, Beef: Well, I'm sure President Buhari won't allow importation of beef to spite his Fulani brothers, who are mainly herders. But as for pork, let them lift embargo on that ASAP. I just resigned as a manager in a very big pig farm. One Mr Tembo associated with Shoprite has been on my neck for weeks to increase supply of pigs with lean meat. Even if they lift embargo on pork, international suppliers too are looking for more to import into their countries. Pork may be an agricultural product in highest demand at present.

5. Birds Eggs – Excluding hatching eggs.

6. Refined Vegetable Oils and Fats [but excluding refined Linseed, Castor and Olive oils. Crude vegetable oil are however NOT banned from importation].

7. Cane or beet sugar and chemically pure sucrose: We have that in abundance. Only dullards will indulge in such.

8. Cocoa Butter, Powder and Cakes: This is a good omen for Ogbeni Aregbesola who recently revived cocoa processing firm in the State of Osun.

9. Spaghetti/Noodles: Let any government tries lifting ban on this and watch Dangote eats them alive.

10. Fruit Juice in retail packs: What difference does that make? Importation is importation, even when it is directly imported by the manufacturer.

Don't add yours, because I know that Tosyne2much is already thinking of toothpicks.

You forgot to add 'cucumber"