The Wife

" Ko ko ko" the sound of somebody knocking the fragile wooden door interrupted the sound of raindrops on the roof and crickets chirping in the distance. "Who dey there?" shouted Patience. Her face contorted into the shape of an angry traditional mask as she contemplated who had interrupted her sleep by knocking on the door at this time of the night. She was not expecting any guests and had momentarily dozed off in her favourite chair. The chair had seen better days and was well worn from decades of use but it was very comfortable and it was Patience's preferred spot in the house. "Na me..Junior..Mama John Pickin" came the reply from the uninvited guest.

" I dey come o" replied Patience as she turned up the brightness on the paraffin lamp beside her whilst at the same time looking for her dunlop slippers. There has been no electricity supply in weeks ever since the boys in the area took it upon themselves to beat up the officials of the electricity company when they came to fix the transformer which supplied the area with power. The beating had been in protest against the 3 week delay by the electricity company officials in coming to fix the transformer after it blew up during a heavy rainfall as it often did. The officials had retaliated by coming back to remove the fuse in the transformer. It had now been 6 weeks since the incident and they refused to return it as punishment to the whole neighbourhood for the actions of their youth.

"Ehen? Wetin you want?" barked Patience at the pimply faced teenage boy who stood in front of her when she opened the door. "My mama say make you come help Oga Fred say we wan close shop" Patience simmered with anger as she listened to the words. The boy's mother owned a local joint or bar if you could call it that where the jobless youths and area drunks gathered in the evening and even during the day to spend their little money on highly potent but cheap alcoholic drinks whilst discussing politics and other matters which they knew little about. Patience had clashed with the woman several times and had warned her against selling drinks, often on credit to her alcoholic husband. As soon as Fred got his salary payment from the owner of the house where he worked as a security guard, he would promptly head to Mama John's joint to pay off the drinking debt he had already incurred for the month before proceeding to spend a huge portion of whatever was left of the money on getting drunk on cheap Paraga, Schnapps and Shepe.

Patience had since given up on complaining about his drinking and she was tired of being known in the neighbourhood as the wife of the area drunk. She had even gone to meet Fred's employer and pleaded with him to pay Fred's salary directly to her instead of handing over the cash to Fred as he spent it all on alcohol and hardly gave her any money for the upkeep of her children. This strategy worked for a while before Fred had somehow convinced his employer to revert to paying him his salary directly instead of giving it to his wife.

Many a time Fred had ended up so drunk that he could not walk home by himself and Patience would have to solicit the help of her eldest son Kofi in carrying or staggering him home as the situation demanded. Today was not going to be one of those days. She had temporarily forgotten that today was the last day of the month and as usual Fred would be at Mama John's place drinking his life away. She slammed the door against the face of the pubescent messenger and stormed into the house. "Mama who be that?" came a half awake voice from the hallway separating the living room from the single bedroom in the house which she shared with her 4 children. It was Segun her youngest son. "Na nobody" she replied. "Go back go sleep".

The Drunk

" Oga Fred..Oga Fred". Fred felt someone shaking him rather rudely. He lifted his head from the table where he had slumped and turned around to see Mama John shaking him by the shoulder. He realised that he must have fallen asleep where he sat. An unfinished glass of Schnapps lay in front of him. "I wan close o..Make you come dey go" continued Mama John. He looked around to see that the bar was already empty and all the patrons had gone home. He looked at the time on the Casio watch which his employer had given him last year when he no longer required it. He barely made out the time in the light of the candle which had been placed on the table. It was almost 1 am. Madam John had switched off her generator to save fuel as all the bar guests had gone and she was about to close shop.

Fred made to stand but fell back into the plastic chair in which he had been sitting. He felt his head begin to bang. He should not have mixed Schnapps with all that Guinness he had earlier. Seyi the bar sales girl standing behind Mama John shook her head. She could never understand how people got so drunk that they could hardly stand or walk. She hoped Oga Fred would hurry up and leave as she had to help lock up the bar with Mama John before rushing off to catch an Okada that would take her home. She needed to wake up early in the morning to go to her day job as a tailor's apprentice. She did not realise that she had let out an inadvertent hiss.

The hiss did not go unnoticed by Fred even in his drunken state. "Why you dey hiss?" he shouted angrily. "I be your mate?" He made to stand up again and this time his attempt was successful. He stood rocking on his feet back and forth unsteadily. "You no get respect" he continued with his words slurring. "You think say because I dey drink for here, you fit behave anyhow to me? Let me tell you, I was a rich man in Togo and I no dey drink for this kind place before". "Oga Fred abeg no vex" quickly interjected Mama John before Fred could go on further. She knew her customer too well and knew that when drunk, he was quick to tell anyone who cared to listen about his past life in Togo whenever he felt slighted. The time was rather late and Mama John was not in the mood for one of his tales.

Fred was not exactly lying about being a rich man once. Although he was not as rich as he often tried to paint, he had been a comfortable man once. He lived in a modest 3 bedroom house with his young family, had a thriving small business selling used car parts and drove a 1980's model Mercedes Benz. The civil unrest in Togo in the early 90's had put paid to all that. He lost his house and business in the turmoil and escaped to neighbouring Nigeria with his family where he had since lived. He often dreamt of going back but had never gotten round to it. One of the main reasons was that he had owed some business partners a considerable amount of money back then and he doubted that the debt would have been forgotten. Rather than go back home to find out if his debtors had forgotten about their money, he had since settled into life in his adopted country and had even given some of his children local Yoruba names.

He grabbed his well worn blue Nike baseball hat which he had taken off earlier and staggered out of the bar into the night. He was sure he could navigate his way home although sometimes he had often woken up at home after many a drinking session at Mama John's without knowing how he got home.

The Lover

The vibration in his hand caused Ade to look at his phone. It was a text from Emem asking if he was still out or if he was now home. It was the last day of the month and he had gone out drinking with his buddies from work as they had all just been paid. He briefly considered his options, if he replied the text and said he was still out, she would want him to come over before he headed home. If he said he was already home then the conversation would end there. They had an agreement that she was not to text, call or message him whenever he was home.

"Decisions decisions" he thought to himself. Was he ready to go home to his ever nagging wife Kemi just yet or should he make a brief detour for a late night tryst with Emem before going home. He looked at the time. It was quarter to 1 in the morning. He could make it to Emem's for a quick one before rushing home to his wife. " I am still out with the guys..What's up?" he texted back. "Nothing much..I am just at home bored. Can you come over?" came the reply.

"I have to go home guys" he announced to the rest of the table as he gestured towards the bar tender for his share of the bill. "Already?" came the reply from Dapo. "Tomorrow is a public holiday nau. Where are you rushing off to?" Ade took one final gulp of his beer before replying Dapo. "You know me I am a married man..my situation is different from yours".

"Married man my foot. I am sure one of those your small babes has called you" Dapo sniggered to howls of laughter from the rest of the table. Everyone in the office knew that Ade was a chronic womaniser despite his persistent claims of being happily married. He had tried it on with virtually every girl in the office from the receptionist to senior colleagues. "Na you sabi" replied Ade sarcastically as he put on his jacket. " I will see you guys in the office the day after tomorrow".

" I am on my way " he texted Emem as he made his way towards his car. He was just about to start the car engine when her reply came in. He opened the message to see that she had sent him a picture of herself spreadeagled in a see through nightie. "I am waiting" came her next message. "Send me another one..Lol" he replied and his muse obliged by sending 4 more pictures of herself. This time fully undressed and in suggestive positions. Ade put the car into reverse and backed out of the parking space before changing gears and zooming out of the compound. He took his phone from the dashboard to see if Emem had sent any more pictures and was so engrossed with trying to unlock his phone that he almost crashed into the impromptu police checkpoint that had been set up on the road.

"Park... Park" barked a stern faced potbellied policeman waving a torch. Ade obliged and pulled to the side of the road. The policeman walked to the side of the car and flashed his torch inside the car. "Yes..License and particulars." Ade obliged and cursed under his breath. He wished the bloody fellow would just get to the point and ask for a bribe already instead of beating around the bush and asking for vehicle particulars. The policeman glanced briefly at the documents which had been handed to him before handing them back. "Yes where you dey go at this time of the night?" "I am on my way home oga. I stayed in work till late" replied Ade hoping the policeman leaning against his side window would not perceive the smell of alcohol on his breath as he spoke. "Oya carry on" the policeman replied and waved Ade on his way. Ade was briefly taken aback. The policeman had not asked for a bribe or "anything for the boys" as was their way.

He put the car back into gear and continued on his journey. It was now beginning to rain quite heavily. After a few hundred meters he once again brought out his phone to send a text to Emem. He was in the middle of composing a message when he looked up to see a man in a blue baseball hat staggering into his path. He tried to apply the brakes but they did not catch in time. The rain had made the road quite slippery. The car swept the man off his feet and he flew against the windscreen like a raggedy doll before landing at the back of the car with a sickening thud. Fred managed to bring his car to a stop. He looked around and there was no other car or pedestrian on the road. He walked over and looked at the man in the blue Nike baseball hat as he lay wounded and dying on the road. For the second time in less than an hour he again considered his options. Should he drive off or should he take the man to a clinic and deal with all the attendant police statements, a possible drink driving charge and police wahala?

He got back into his car and continued his journey. This is Lagos he thought to himself. Nobody solves a hit and run.


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