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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Best Of Ajesity <<<urine>>>>vol 5 (732 Views)
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Best Of Ajesity <<<urine>>>>vol 5 by aje49ja(m): 11:17am On Nov 13, 2009 |
lecturer teaching medicine was giving a classoom observation. He took out a jar of yellow liquid. "This," he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant of color, smell, sight, and taste." After saying so, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched in amazement, most in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped their finger into the jar and put it into their mouths. After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my second finger into the jar and my third finger into my mouth." Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital. The doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample." The old man says, "What?" So the doctor says it again. Once again the old man says, "what?" So the doctor yells it, "I NEED A URINE SAMPLE, A FECES SAMPLE, AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!" With that the old woman turns to the old man and says, "He needs a pair of your underwear!" There was this woman who had bags under her eyes and wanted to get them removed so she could look younger so she went to a plastic surgeon. She tells the doctor I cant get rid of these bags please help me. The doctor says he is gonna try and new experimental technique on her. He will put a crank in the back of her head and when she sees bags under her eyes she's supposed to crank it and the bags will go away. So she gets this crank put in her head and leaves. It works and works for a while until one day she cant get rid of these bags under her eyes. She cranks and cranks as hard as she can but they just wont go away. So she goes to the doctor. She says to the doctor: "Doctor, this was working for a while, but I cant seem to get rid of these bags under my eyes." The doctor replies: "Lady those aren't bags, those are your tits!" All she had to say was, "Now that would explain why I have this goatee." A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?" His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or not." Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a Mouth Gig?' , and she's always sound asleep Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time. "The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis , fifty times" |
Re: Best Of Ajesity <<<urine>>>>vol 5 by dettyadex: 11:23am On Nov 13, 2009 |
Only you! all dis jokes! abe go register with Omobaba to as to become a comedian |
Re: Best Of Ajesity <<<urine>>>>vol 5 by Pharoh: 11:31am On Nov 13, 2009 |
Kudos bro |
Re: Best Of Ajesity <<<urine>>>>vol 5 by 2Direct(m): 11:37am On Nov 13, 2009 |
Poster u don see people wey nor get work abi? |
Re: Best Of Ajesity <<<urine>>>>vol 5 by Pharoh: 11:40am On Nov 13, 2009 |
Me no read am finish na |
Re: Best Of Ajesity <<<urine>>>>vol 5 by aje49ja(m): 11:41am On Nov 13, 2009 |
If na ur 1hr u dey fear off don''t worry i will send u time just read |
Re: Best Of Ajesity <<<urine>>>>vol 5 by aristole(m): 11:53am On Nov 13, 2009 |
See campaign!! |
Re: Best Of Ajesity <<<urine>>>>vol 5 by shayoor(f): 1:48pm On Nov 13, 2009 |
lol |
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